According to the logs, somebody landed on this website last week by searching for “promo presentation Powerpoint vacuum cleaner”.
This is the 56th result (6th result on 6th page) on Google for that search query.
Whilst I’m confused as to what this person was looking for, I’m even more confused as to why they followed the link to this site…the result seems to have very little to do with their search query, although as I said, I have absolutely no idea what they were searching for.
On Friday I promised details of the “full moon affected people” I encountered during my lunch break. Both of these people were encountered in the Weston Creek area.
I encountered the first one after I had ordered a creamy potato bake and a coffee to take away from a cafe in Cooleman Court (a small shopping centre for those of you not familiar with the area), I was waiting for my order and another man went up to the counter to place his order, one of the waitresses started to serve him, but he, instead of ordering, started telling her about how her photo was in the window, she looked, as did I, and there was nothing in the window, but he insisted…there was an awkward silence, my order arrived and I left. I have no idea what happened with him and his imaginary photo, but I doubt that he was served by the girl supposedly in the imaginary photo.
A few moments later, as I was crossing the road, a man who was crossing the road in the opposite direction decided to yell out, whilst right beside me, “large square people”, something which stopped me dead in my tracks, as I was completely dumbfounded, as were a few other people if their facial expressions were anything to go by. I did somehow manage to complete my crossing of the road and find somewhere quiet and sane to eat my lunch.
It’s been a while since I’ve had the perverse pleasure of writing about the strange people I seem to encounter, and despite the fact I’ve enjoyed it, I don’t want to have to do it again for a while.
Saturday was an interesting day on 2CC, the morning programming was an outside broadcast from Bunnings Belconnen, Steve Liebmann filled in for Glenn Wheeler in the afternoon. 2UE covered the New South Wales Waratahs’ rugby union match until 10pm, so 2CC ran local programming, with Kris McKenzie running what sounded like an incredibly well organised show, which isn’t something I’ve ever associated with 2CC’s rare local night time programming. 2CC should be proud of their Saturday night effort, and consider doing things like that more often.
The remainder of this week should also be interesting. During the breakfast show today somebody will win a holiday as part of 2CC’s “Cash and Holiday Mania” competition…I’m not in the draw as I opted to take the $100…that was before they told me I would have to wait until after the competition for the cheque to be mailed to me.
On the drive show, the proposed Tralee housing precinct will be the focus of a debate between someone from Canberra Airport (opposed to houses at Tralee), and somebody from the Villiage Building Company (wanting to build at Tralee). It will be an ad-free half hour and it should be an interesting debate…pity I can’t remember the names or the exact time. I can remember one of the names, but it would be very unfair of me to name one person and not the other.
Looking ahead to Friday night, and 2CC will broadcast their first Friday night NRL match, it will be live (sourced from 2GB) and will, as usual, be much better than the Channel Nine coverage. If you plan on watching the NRL on Friday night, mute the TV and turn on 2CC.
That reminds me, my (not to be trusted) footy tips start again this week…I’ll either put them online on Thursday or Friday morning.
Also, I’ve received a few emails about the radio reviews…I have a whole heap of recorded review periods to review, with the final one in the first round due to be recorded today. I will suspend further recordings until next week when the ratings period is over, and I will endeavour to get as many reviews done as possible in the interim.
Reverend Fred Nile of the Christian Democratic Party has gone off his rocker again…this time calling for an immediate moratorium on Muslim immigration for ten years, so that we can bring more “oppressed Christians” in to the nation. I have no problem with either group, but I think any move to allow or disallow immigration solely on the basis of a person’s religion is not only offensive, but an incredibly big step backwards. Thankfully Reverend Nile is in the New South Wales parliament and has no chance of changing federal immigration policies.
New South Wales police minister John Watkins has made a big error, promising that Sunday’s closure of the Sydney Harbour Bridge so that people can walk on it for its 75th birthday won’t cause traffic gridlock, as experienced when the Queen Mary 2 and Queen Elizabeth 2 ocean liners visited the harbour a few weeks ago. Mr. Watkins claims to have a plan to avoid traffic gridlock during the 4.30am to 11pm closure…but as fas as I can tell, that plan involves people leaving their car at home.
Two weeks out from the election and he make a stupid promise about Sydney’s volatile traffic…silly silly man.
In other Sydney traffic news, the Lane Cove Tunnel’s operators claim that the air quality in it has been verified to be good, but there won’t be any cars in their until after the election. A vehicle-free tunnel probably would have clean air in it.
There’s a storm cloud gathering over the validity of a claim from federal Labor leader Kevin Rudd that his family was evicted from their house when he was a child…what that has to do with how Mr. Rudd plans to run the nation is beyond me…back to the issues please. Even another ramble about how bad Labor thinks WorkChoices is would be more interesting than this nonsense.
The idiots at the top end of Telstra’s corporate ladder are threatening the federal government with the “mother of all class actions” if their competitors are allowed to build their own $3.6 billion national high speed broadband network…perhaps Telstra’s daft CEO Sol Trujillo has forgotten that he had a temper tantrum and decided to blame the government for his decision to not build his own broadband network. If, as one of Telstra’s annoying internal mottos claims, “anything.possible”, is it not therefore possible that Mr. Trujillo isn’t the right person to provide essential telecommunication services to the country, and should quit and take his bunch of executive crazies with him “done.now”? (to quote another internal motto).
That pretty much sums up what’s on my mind right now.
This week’s award goes to Reba McEntire, and the feature song is The Fear Of Being Alone.
We ordered up one more bottle of wine
You told me your story and I thought about mine
You said when you lost her you lost everything
It all started having a familiar ring
So I asked you to take me some place quiet
We wound up at the river for the rest of the night
Somewhere around the break of day
I could hear it coming from a mile away
So don’t say that word
Not the one we both heard too much
You may think you do but you don’t
It’s just the fear of being alone
Reckless hearts can clear a path
Wider than a hurricane’s aftermath
We’ve both traveled down that road
Where in the name of love anything goes
So don’t say that word
Not the one we both heard too much
You may think you do but you don’t
It’s just the fear of being alone
Like a child in the night
With no one to hold you
And tell you everything’s gonna be all right
I must admit it’s been fun
But that’s no reason to jump the gun
If this is real time will tell
So let me bite my tongue and remind myself
Don’t say that word
Not the one we both heard too much
You may think you do but you don’t
It’s just the fear of being alone
I would just like to take this opportunity to thank you for another wonderful summer of weekend (and night time) entertainment. Those of us down here in Canberra will once again have to leave you from next weekend for the football, but I will be sure to fire up the 2UE webstream when I can, and I will continue to keep in touch.
It's a pity you didn't get a chance to organise a Canberra lunch, but I suppose there is always next summer.
Keep up the good work, I know the airwaves and the people listening to them down here will miss you.
And as much as I hate doing this kind of thing this early…Happy Easter, I'll send you some easter eggs closer to the date (at least I didn't wish you a Happy Easter on Boxing Day).
Feel free to discuss the poll subject in the comments below. You need to be a registered member of Samuel’s Blog to comment, but anyone can vote. The system will attempt to prevent you from voting more than once, and whilst it might not always be able to do that, I request that you only vote once.
Disclaimer: This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you’re using these numbers to do anything important, you’re insane. That being said, I do try to keep the results fair and accurate, and I try to prevent abuse by unscrupulous voters, but I can’t make any guarantees.
Now for the results from last week’s poll.
How long do you think it will be until David Hicks is back in Australia?
It surprised me that so many people don’t think that David Hicks will ever step foot in Australia again, especially seeing as he isn’t facing a particularly serious charge. Of the others, more than a year was most popular, followed equally by the two options filling the three months and a day to a year range, then less than a month, and one to three months. All of that indicates to me that most people don’t expect to see David Hicks in this country for quite some time.
You were talking about the amount of time people have had to wait for planes, well I've never had to wait for one, but that's only because I've never been on one.
I do remember one of my teachers telling me a story though about one time she was going to catch a plane from Melbourne to Canberra on Christmas Eve, while she was waiting for the boarding call in the waiting lounge she was having a chat with a pilot and mentioned that she was going to Canberra, the pilot told her that he was too, and she was going to be the only passenger on the flight, she could have any seat she liked, but she would have to sit right down the back with the flight attendants during take off and landing to balance the plane!
Apparently they would have cancelled the flight, but as it was Christmas Eve and they needed the plane in Canberra for another flight, they decided to go ahead with only one passenger. My teacher said it was the best in-flight service she has ever had.
Have a great morning, Samuel Gordon-Stewart Canberra
Sounds like Steve Liebmann is filling in for Glenn Wheeler this afternoon on 2UE and 2CC…it’s great to hear Steve again, but Glenn, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re OK and will be back soon.
As if it isn’t bad enough that I’ve got a headache…I managed to bump into two full-moon affected people during lunch (more details soon), I can’t stop annoying myself by talking to myself aimlessly, and I’ve got music from Quizmania (sorry Clive…I did listen to some of it) stuck in my head…what will go wrong next?
I remember being taught in primary school that if you have a right and don't exercise it, then you don't really have the right…so on that logic, if the petrol price regulators won't do any regulating, what good are they?
I’m sure we’ve all received those stupid emails telling us that “the worst virus ever” will destroy your computer if you open a certain email, and “there is no cure”.
Well, I thought I had spotted yet another stupid virus hoax warning…how wrong I was…definitely worth of Friday Funny status.
If you receive an email entitled
‘Camel’ delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it .
Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on
disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on
ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws
up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to
scratch any CD’s you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto
dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into
your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will
drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave
dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It
will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the
“Bedtimes” message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the
forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill
your skim milk with whole milk.
***
WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***
And if you do open any Emails from ‘Camel’ you’ll fart so hard that
your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you,
sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Do you have something you would like to contribute to Friday Funnies? If so, email it to smoothwallsamuel@gmail.com. All contributions welcome!
Important Notice: In the light of the news that people have died in this accident, including at least one journalist, the following email may seem insensitive, and possibly be seen to be in bad taste. Please bear in mind that this email was sent prior to such information being known, and I can now only wish those involved, and all of their family and friends, all the best. End Notice
Hello John, Kate and friends
Terrible news about the plane crash in Yogyakarta, one can only hope that the reports of people being trapped in the burning plane are incorrect. At least we know why the news got out so quickly though…you wouldn't expect anything less from a plane full of journalists and diplomats.
I do find the pronunciation of Yogyakarta interesting though. Last time it was in the news the majority of the media were pronouncing it by the alternative spelling Jogjakarta…and now everyone seems to have reverted to the Yogyakarta spelling. Perhaps somebody should call the Indonesian embassy and find out the official pronunciation and spelling as it is silly to refer to it by both names depending on which gets used first in a story.
Would anybody care to explain to me why ACT Chief Turnip Jon Stanhope’s verbal attack on former opposition leader Brendan Smyth in question time today has received so little media coverage?
The lead story on 2CC news for most of the afternoon was Jon Stanhope calling Brendan Smyth a slime ball who enjoys being in the gutter and subsequently being reprimanded by the speaker of the assembly Wayne Berry MLA. 2CC reported that Brendan Smyth was disgusted by the outburst.
This was question time, and all of the news outlets had reporters at the assembly today, so why has there been no mention of this outburst on the television news bulletins? I’m not sure about ABC Local Radio but as there is so far nothing on their news website about it I don’t think they’ve covered the story, and I’m almost certain that RiotACT would have covered it if the story had appeared on ABC Local Radio’s news bulletins…so what’s going on? Why has such an unusual (for the Legislative Assembly at least) and newsworthy event gone unnoticed by so much of the local media?
Here is a copy of the transcript from proof hansard, the PDF will be replaced with the final version of weekly hansard at the end of the week.
MR STEFANIAK: My question is to the Chief Minister. Chief Minister, where were you on the night of 17 January 2003 when the head of the Emergency Services Bureau was trying to get in touch with you, and what were you doing?
MR STANHOPE: I have to say that I was interested in the contribution that the member for Tuggeranong, Mr Smyth, made to the no-confidence motion last week, in which he dwelt very much on this subject, comfortable as Mr Smyth is with the selling of innuendo, of scuttlebutt and of slime.
MR STEFANIAK: Answer the question.
MR STANHOPE: Well, it is not that simple, actually. It is a question in relation to which one really should provide some context around the degree of comfort that Mr Smyth has in getting into the gutter, the slime— Mr Slime Ball from Tuggeranong. He loves it down there in the gutter.
MR SPEAKER: Order! Refer to the member by his name, please. Withdraw that and refer to the member by his name.
MR STANHOPE: I refer to Mr Smyth as Mr Smyth and—
MRS DUNNE: Mr Speaker, he still hasn’t withdrawn.
MR SPEAKER: Withdraw it.
MR STANHOPE: I withdraw it; I was withdrawing it. But it of course does not change my opinion of the member at all, and he knows it.
MRS DUNNE: Mr Speaker, this is entirely disorderly. When a member is asked to withdraw, they have to withdraw, and that’s it— simpliciter, without embellishment.
MR SPEAKER: He has withdrawn.
MR STANHOPE: Mr Smyth is comfortable down there in the gutter. He likes it there, down with the cigarette butts and the dog turds and the wasted life. That is where he is comfortable, and of course it is one of the reasons that his colleagues tipped him out a few months ago— because he really does not have the maturity or the standing or the quality that befits a leader.
MR SPEAKER: Come to the subject of the question, Chief Minister.
MR STANHOPE: I spent that evening with my wife, Robyn, in company with two other people, the reputations of whom or the professions of whom some of course might have a particular issue with. I think it was to these particular points that Mr Smyth was going, of course— the quality, the calibre and the nature of the people and who it was that I might have spent that particular evening with. I spent it with my wife and with a magistrate of the ACT Magistrates Court, and his wife, and— forgive me my sins— with a Catholic priest, the parish priest of St Matthew’s, Page. Mr Smyth, of course, was not looking for an answer that bowled me as actually spending an evening with a magistrate of the Magistrates Court of the ACT or with the parish priest of St Matthew’s, Page. Mr Smyth had other ideas. Mr Smyth has been out there spreading innuendo and slime and slurs and outrageous suggestions— as he did when he put in an FOI request for all of my wife’s travel documents on the one and only occasion when my wife has accompanied me on a spouse-accompanied trip. This is the man who thinks it is appropriate behaviour for a Leader of the Opposition to requisition all of my wife’s travel documents. This is the man that the other Liberals are comfortable with on their back bench.
MR STEFANIAK: I raise a point of order, Mr Speaker, under standing order 118A.
MR STANHOPE: Who among you thinks that is appropriate behaviour—
MR STEFANIAK: Pull him in, would you?
MR SPEAKER: Come back to the subject matter of the question.
MR STANHOPE: of a member of your particular party? This is the scuttlebutt. This is the innuendo. This is the slime—
MR SPEAKER: Come back to the subject matter, Chief Minister.
MR STANHOPE: that your colleagues engage in. Which one of you has suffered your spouse or partner having all of their private documents FOIed in relation to any travel involving you in your official capacity— who of you? It is the most shameful behaviour by a despicable little man!
MR STEFANIAK: Mr Speaker, I have a supplementary question. Chief Minister, thank you for that explanation— in the 30 seconds that you gave it; I will disregard the rest. Why until now have you been so reluctant to advise the people of Canberra what you were doing when you should have been following the fires closely? Why did you not advise us before now?
MR STANHOPE: Because it was none of your business.
MR STEFANIAK: It has taken you four years.
MR STANHOPE: Because it was none of your business, and it is still none of your business. I only answer today because of the slime that is being perpetrated and spread around Canberra by this colleague of yours— the innuendoes, the doublespeak, the slime, the attacks on my wife and the requisitioning of her travel documents: freedom of information requests in relation to every document associated with her private life and her behaviour. This is what the Liberal Party in this place has reduced itself to. He kept it up last week in the no-confidence motion. You all sat around, all relaxed: “Funny; chuff, chuff; let’s be part of this innuendo”— this slur, this campaign against my wife and my marriage, this suggestion that there was something untoward about my behaviour, which you have gone on and on with.
MR SMYTH: You refused to answer the question.
MR SPEAKER: Order! Mr Smyth!
MR STANHOPE: Because I have a private life that is absolutely none of your business. You have run a four-year campaign about my private life. The questions that you have pursued in relation to my whereabouts on that particular night, on that evening, and the persons in whose company I spent the evening have had a single purpose. It is absolutely and utterly despicable— utterly despicable. Of course, then it was followed up by Mr Smyth and his freedom of information requests— that he has requisitioned: his demand for tabled documents— in relation to my wife’s private life and business.
MR STEFANIAK: Mr Speaker, I raise a point of order, again under standing order 118A.
MR SPEAKER: I think the question was “why haven’t you told us up until now?” I think the Chief Minister is trying to tell you.
MR STANHOPE: To the point where I have to say this. I am loath to involve my wife in this; she will be appalled, and perhaps disappointed, that I have breached her privacy in relation to this. But since Mr Smyth conducted his campaign against my wife and her travel, my wife refuses to travel with me. She is not prepared to have her private life and her private affairs submitted to the political point scoring and nastiness of Brendan Smyth. My wife will no longer travel with me because of Mr Smyth’s requisitioning of her personal travel documents, her personal affairs and
her expenditures when she travels on official business with me. That is what Mr Smyth has done. I apologise to my wife for breaching her privacy in this way. It is appalling. I am absolutely appalled that this paragon of virtue— this citizen of Tuggeranong, this pillar of society— thinks that that is appropriate behaviour. It is not. On the night before the fire, I was with my wife, with a magistrate of the ACT Magistrates Court and with a Catholic priest.
MR STEFANIAK: Why didn’t you tell us before now?
MR STANHOPE: Because it is none of your business— because it is none of your business. It is none of your business what I was doing.
MR STEFANIAK: No-one is going to blame you for being with your wife, for goodness sake.
MR STANHOPE: I explained at the time. I said, “I was in my electorate at dinner.”
MRS BURKE: You did not.
MR STANHOPE: Yes, I did.
MS GALLAGHER: Yes, on the north side of Canberra.
MR STANHOPE: My colleagues remember. I was in my electorate on the north side of Canberra at dinner. But that was not sufficient! That was not sufficient! It just excited the dirty mind of Mr Smyth. That just excited the dirty mind, because I would not say I was at dinner with my wife— because it was none of your business. It was not relevant that I involve my wife in this place. Oh, no— a four-year campaign of innuendo, scuttlebutt, doublespeak and plain gossip. Of course it all gets repeated back to me. It is a small town. It is a small place, this. It all gets reported back to me— everything that Mr Smyth says as he goes around town: the destruction of my reputation and that of my marriage and my wife. It is all out there. He is out there talking about it. He is talking it up. I can go and get statutory declarations and affidavits from those to whom Mr Smyth has told this story. That is what we have come to. It was a matter of principle. It is none of your business. My wife is not part of this job.
MRS BURKE: It’s the community’s business.
MR STANHOPE: It is not. Mrs Burke, tell us more about the sexual harassment matter. Come on.
MR STEFANIAK: Oh, here we go. Let’s get grubby, Jon.
MR STANHOPE: Let’s get grubby? Let’s get grubby!
MR STEFANIAK: You are accusing him of it and now you are doing it.
MR SPEAKER: Order!
MR STANHOPE: I am respecting Mrs Burke’s privacy. Give us the lurid details, Mrs Burke. (Time expired.)
It even continued in to the next question…
MR GENTLEMAN: My question is directed to the Minister for Territory and Municipal Services. I understand that recent criticism of ACTION is misguided, as patronage levels are through the roof. Can you inform the Assembly how many passengers have voted in favour of ACTION by using the new network?
MR SMYTH interjecting—
MR HARGREAVES: Mr Smyth, I challenge you to tell in public what you told your Liberal Party branch about me. I challenge you in public because I would like you to give me a photocopy of your house because I will have it for you.
MR SPEAKER: Order! Mr Hargreaves, come back to the subject matter.
MR HARGREAVES: I certainly will. You just do it and I will take you on.
Considering that the “answer” provided by Jon Stanhope actually answers a question about his whereabouts prior to the 2003 Bushfire, one does have to wonder why at least that bit was of no interest to the local media, if the name calling of Brendan Smyth wasn’t of interest to them.
I am still perplexed as to why Jon Stanhope doesn’t think his whereabouts is the business of his constituents, and I can only assume that, had he been forthcoming with these details, Brendan Smyth would never have tried to work it out by using Freedom Of Information…in fact I’m sure that Mr. Smyth and the Liberal Party would have tried many other ways of working it out before FOIing travel documents of Mr. Stanhope’s wife.
More questions, why is it that Mr. Stanhope can find enough money to erect a statue of the late disgraced Whitlam government minister Al Grassby, but needs to make businesses in Civic pay a levy for the general upkeep of the area…a job which would normally be considered a government responsibility? And why is this kind of levy going to be charged at a varying rate depending on the “rateable” value of their property…surely if this must happen then it should be charged at a flat rate and not be an addition to land tax by another name?
What a peculiar place that Legislative Assembly is.
I’m wondering if anybody can identify the music linked below. It is the music currently used at the end of WIN Television’s News, and in the promos for 2UE’s Mike and Fitz Breakfast Show.
MR STEFANIAK: My question is to the Chief Minister. Chief Minister, where were you on the night of 17 January 2003 when the head of the Emergency Services Bureau was trying to get in touch with you, and what were you doing?
MR STANHOPE: I have to say that I was interested in the contribution that the member for Tuggeranong, Mr Smyth, made to the no-confidence motion last week, in which he dwelt very much on this subject, comfortable as Mr Smyth is with the selling of innuendo, of scuttlebutt and of slime.
MR SPEAKER: Order! Refer to the member by his name, please. Withdraw that and refer to the member by his name.
MRS DUNNE: Mr Speaker, he still hasn’t withdrawn.
MR SMYTH: You refused to answer the question.
MRS BURKE: You did not.
MS GALLAGHER: Yes, on the north side of Canberra.
MR GENTLEMAN: My question is directed to the Minister for Territory and Municipal Services. I understand that recent criticism of ACTION is misguided, as patronage levels are through the roof. Can you inform the Assembly how many passengers have voted in favour of ACTION by using the new network?
MR HARGREAVES: Mr Smyth, I challenge you to tell in public what you told your Liberal Party branch about me. I challenge you in public because I would like you to give me a photocopy of your house because I will have it for you.