Christmas Musician Of The Week number 2 for 2006 is upon us, and this week the award goes to Elton John for the song “Step Into Christmas”.
Welcome to my Christmas song
I’d like to thank you for the year
So I’m sending you this Christmas card
To say it’s nice to have you here
I’d like to sing about all the things
Your eyes and mind can see
So hop aboard the turntable
Oh-ohh step into Christmas with me yeah
Step into Christmas
Let’s join together
We can watch the snow fall forever and ever
Eat, drink and be merry
Come along with me
Step into Christmas
The admission’s free
Take care in all you do next year
And keep smiling through the days
If we can help to entertain you
Oh we will find the ways
So Merry Christmas one and all
There’s no place I’d rather be
Than asking you if you’d oblige
Stepping into Christmas with me
Step into Christmas
Let’s join together
We can watch the snow fall forever and ever
Eat, drink and be merry
Come along with me
Step into Christmas
The admission’s free
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Ah-ah-ah
La-la-laaaa-ah-ahhh
Welcome to my Christmas song
I’d like to thank you for the year
So I’m sending you this Christmas card
To say it’s nice to have you here
I’d like to sing about all the things
Your eyes and mind can see
So hop aboard the turntable
Oh-ohh step into Christmas with me yeah
Step into Christmas
Let’s join together
We can watch the snow fall forever and ever
Eat, drink and be merry
Come along with me
Step into Christmas
The admission’s free
Step into Christmas
Let’s join together
We can watch the snow fall forever and ever
Eat, drink and be merry
Come along with me
Step into Christmas
The admission’s free
Step into Christmas
Let’s join together
We can watch the snow fall forever and ever
Eat, drink and be merry
Come along with me
Step into Christmas
The admission’s free
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Step, step into Christmas
Aaaah, forever and ever
Yeah, come along with me
Ah-ah-ah
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Step, step into Christmas
Aaaah, forever and ever
Yeah, come along with me
Ah-ah-ah
Can somebody slow down the newsmill please? I’m having trouble keeping up.
Stan Zemanek has announced that he will retire from radio (and possibly television, althought that’s a tad less clear) at the end of the year to focus on beating his brain tumour and spend more time with his family. The news came as a surprise when John Kerr anounced it earlier this morning, but it was hardly a shock as it is quite clear that Stan is still unwell.
I’ll miss Stan, his unique radio show, and his loopy callers, but I get the feeling that with Stan’s fighting spirit, and his passion for radio, he’ll be back in a year or so.
But until then, best of luck Stan…perhaps I should ring you before you go.
‘Mellower’ Stan Zemanek to quit radio
By Sandra Lee
10dec06
A SELF-confessed “mellower” Stan Zemanek is turning off his 2UE microphone after 17 years of “shock jock” radio to spend more time with his family as he fights a debilitating form of brain cancer.
“I decided that I have had enough of night-time radio and I am going to concentrate on getting my health back in order and fight this dreadful disease,” Zemanek, 59, told The Sunday Telegraph in an exclusive interview yesterday.
“My health comes first and so does my family and I want to give them every opportunity to see me around for the next 20 years.”
Zemanek was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour in May and within days underwent radical surgery by neurosurgeon Dr Charlie Teo. He was released from hospital three days after the operation, survived a subsequent three-week course of radiation therapy and is currently undergoing chemotherapy.
“It knocks me about a bit,” he says. “I’m not out of the woods yet. I am a long way from out of the woods but my doctor and oncologist have given me the best advice on what to do and how to do things and I’m pleased with that.”
Zemanek’s radio career will end when he broadcasts his final show on December 22.
He said he was pleased to leave 2UE as the presenter with the biggest audience increase in the final ratings survey of the year.
Zemanek’s decision was based on his love for his wife, Marcella, with whom he has two daughters, Gabriele, 33 and Melissa, 30.
“It’s easier on the patient than it is on the carer and my wife, Marcella, who has done a sterling job in keeping me on the right track,” he said. “She is the one who dishes out the pills, makes all the medical appointments and talks to the doctors.
“I really think I need to give her a little bit more time at home, helping her. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here today. She has been a rock to my whole being, and so have my two daughters.”
Zemanek built his radio career as a pugnacious personality who savaged his interview guests and listeners with a lacerating tongue.
But he admits battling an aggressive form of cancer for the past seven months has mellowed him – “a bit”.
“I have become more reasoned but I am still the bad boy of television and radio and still won’t take a backward step if I believe I am right and people want to argue with me,” he says.
“I still enjoy an argument with people but maybe not as much as before.”
Zemanek has not lost his sense of humour, either.
“The other day I said to one listener, ‘Please don’t yell at me, don’t you know I am sick?’ I played my sympathy card,” he joked.
However, Zemanek is not quitting professional life totally. Tomorrow he will film three more episodes of Foxtel’s Beauty And The Beast, and he has just done a deal to sell the film rights of the Warren Fellows book, The Damage Done – 12 Years Of Hell In A Bangkok Prison.
And he has firm plans for the future. “One of my aspirations of getting through this is that I want to dance with Marcella at my grandson Hamish’s 21st birthday. That’s in 19 years.
“That’s the main aim in life now. I want to be dancing with Marcella in my old age.”
I thought Save The Ridge were dead and buried…I was wrong. I thought that having Gungahlin Drive near completion would spell the end of anti-Gungahlin Drive protests…I was wrong. People against Gungahlin Drive will not use it when it opens…just wait, I’ll be wrong.
Today the ACT Government is holding a public walking tour of part of Gungahlin Drive, Save The Ridge are going to “peacefully” gatecrash the event, presumably with megaphones and banners.
Save The Ridge are a cunning mob, they know they no longer have the numbers to mount any sort of protest, so they “urgently” enlist the help of various “Save xyz School” groups, claiming that the money being spent on the Gungahlin Drive Extension is being diverted away from schools, buses etc. They forget a couple important points:
Budget: It may have been a bad one, but Gungahlin Drive was in there
Those peksy court costs: Those agonising years of stalling in the courts by STR cost an awful lot of money…and helped to blow out the cost of the road
I don’t know what they expect the government to do…unbuilding the road would cost more money so that doesn’t help, cancelling the road would be an utter waste and leave a large mess…but might provide a poorly placed dragway (could offset aeroplane noise if the Tralee development goes ahead).
The horse has bolted, it’s won the race, and is about to receive the trophy, but for what it’s worth, Save The Ridge are having an encore comedy performance. Enjoy the press release (emphasis as per the press release).
WHAT: Community Rally to Protest the Opening of the First Stage of the Gungahlin Drive Extension and the Negative Impact the Massive Cost Overruns have had on the Public Transport, Education and Community Sector
TIME AND DATE: 10am, Sunday 10 December
WHERE: Gungahlin Drive Extension junction with Ginninderra Drive
(parking at the GDE site office, off Masterman St, Bruce. Transport is being provided between there and the start of a community walk)
ASSISTANCE: STR needs the URGENT community support to assist with leafleting, letterboxing and postering. Please email info@savetheridge.org.au or call Paul Oboohov on 0417 048 217 to volunteer some time.
OTHER HELP: SPREAD THE WORD!
ABOUT: The first section of the Gungahlin Drive Extension (GDE), between Ginninderra Drive and the Barton Highway, will be officially opened by the ACT government on Sunday 10 December. The ACT government has scheduled a community walk / cycle at 10am on the GDE between Ginninderra Drive and Ellenborough St to “celebrate the opening”, see http://www.gde.act.gov.au/__data/assets/word_doc/41409/CommunityWalkEvent.doc
The Save the Ridge Committee invites you to attend a peaceful protest at this event, to make the following points:
* The cost of the 9km GDE, one of the most expensive non tunnelled single lane roads in Australia’s history, is being recouped partly through the closure of 39 schools in the ACT, as well as a raft of cutbacks including scaled back ACTION bus services, library closures, social programs cut, reducing ACT Government employee superannuation entitlements from 15.4% to 9% and significant increases of government taxes and charges;
* The GDE is being built at a time of trend petrol price rises not seen since the early 1980’s. With massive increases in petrol demand in some of the world’s most populous developing nations, cheap oil is a thing of the past and nationally climate change issues are now near the top of the community’s concerns. Like the Australian Government, the ACT Government has taken almost no action on the issue. An important first step would be a significant investment in an electrified rapid transit system with a commitment to power it through green energy purchases. With no carbon emissions, this would make significant progress on improving the Territory’s per capita greenhouse gas emission profile;
* According to Canberra Times reports (Canberra Times, Dec 2), until recently the GDE construction has used almost 0.5 (approx. 0.41)% of Canberra’s potable water supply at a time of unprecedented water restrictions. It will continue to require water, but from a new greywater source. The cost of this appears to be the Government reneging on the promise to rehabilitate 20 sportgrounds for community use due to their being insufficient available water because of the drought;
* The GDE has come at an incalculable environmental cost with the destruction of significant linkages in Canberra’s high conservation value urban bush. The ACT Government’s rhetoric of suggesting it will become the first capital city in the world to achieve environmental status under UNESCO (Canberra Sunday Times, 3 December 2006) is farcical with the wholesale vandalism of Kaleen Grasslands, Bruce/O’Connor Ridges and Black Mountain Reserve. Numerous studies by university researchers have found Black Mountain Reserve to be a world class area for biodiversity, the position advocated by STR and supported by world class members of the broader scientific community since the 1990’s;
* Community members and experts recognise that bush regions ACT Government have preserved are so small and fragmented, that the richness of their ecology is not likely to be sustainable in the long term. This is largely due to the threat to fauna when migrating between areas and from domestic animals. The Government’s proposal for the fossil fuel based Belconnen to Civic busway is another example of how little value these pockets of bush have to the ACT Government and how they are only perceived to have value if they can encourage further construction activity along the corridors; and
* The ACT Arboretum site will now be the final home for almost 200,000 cubic metres of unnecessary GDE fill that was trucked in from various construction sites around Canberra to build the GDE. After it has already arrived, it was determined that there was already a surplus of fill on site and this fill was not necessary. In addition, 170,000 cubic metres of soil from the site will also be sent to the Arboretum to permit further construction of the road. Almost 400,000 cubic metres of soil will now be relocated to the Arboretum site. This farce is characteristic of the repeated failures throughout the entire GDE planning, approvals and construction process.
Placards will be available, but if you wish, please bring one of your own. A placard and banner making workshop will be held at 2pm on Saturday 9 December in the Rocks meeting hall. Please come along and help create a range of interesting statements.
Speakers include, but are not limited to:
* Alex Pollard, ACT Peak Oil;
* Meredith Hunter, ACT Greens candidate for the seat of Fraser; and
* Allan Lohe, former Save the Ridge Chairperson
If you can suggest any additional speakers, please contact Paul Oboohov on ph 0417 048 217.
Morning presenter Simon Pulis (holding the camera to the left of the photo above) is entering his final week with the station, he will be replaced next year by ex Mix 104.9 Darwin announcer/music director Gerry Nyein (don’t ask me how to pronounce it…I think voiceover man Ron E. Sparks will also need guidance on that one). Oddly enough, Mix 104.9 is a John Laws network station, and Gerry will be competing with Laws as 2CA’s morning presenter.
Apparently, Simon Pulis is moving back to Sydney, he isn’t the first person from Capital Radio to do that this year, as newsreader James Creegan did the same thing.
The rest of the movements involve breakfast boys Paul Blunt and Leighton Archer.
Leighton (on the right) has taken over as 2CA’s program director from Drive presenter and music director Gregg Easton. For Capital Radio, PD and MD have both been juggled positions…in other words, you juggle your on-air and off-air roles, so the following job advertisement should make it pretty clear what else is happening.
Breakfast Co-Host
07 Dec 2006
Canberra’s 1053 2CA is looking for a new Breakfast Co-Host.
If You
# Don’t mind early starts and can target a 40+ audience.
# Have a bubbly, positive personality and are passionate about making great radio.
# Are a team player and have great research skills.
# Can come up with creative ideas and content for the show every day.
# Don’t mind living in a great city with more restaurants per capita than any other…
Then We
# Will pay you very well
# Give you a great Co-Host in return
# Create fantastic promotions for you to work with.
# And supply you with an endless supply of coffee. (We do brewed here)
2CA has a new boss, a new PD and an exciting new direction!
If you’re keen to join a fresh team that will make great radio in 2007 and beyond, then don’t waste any time, just send your resume and an air-check ASAP using the link below or post it to;
Leighton Archer
Program Director
P O Box 1053
Mitchell ACT 2911
It’s rapidly becoming an annual annoyance, and this year is bound to annoy more people than usual, as the bean counters at Macquarie Bank who recently purchased part of 2UE’s parent company have waved their magic wand and the afternoon show has disappeared into a timewarp.
Apparently it will return when “Voice of reason” John Stanley comes back from holidays (happy honeymoon John), although I think we can all be forgiven if we don’t hold our collective breaths on that one.
Unfortunately, to make the afternoon show disappear, you have to fiddle with the rest of the schedule, and as such the weekday schedule has changed, and forced a lot of network stations to re-record their promos, and assign staff new shifts at very short notice.
The new weekday schedule looks like this:
New Day Australia: previously midnight-5:30am, now midnight-6am (*)
Breakfast: previously 5:30am-9am, now 6am-10am
John Laws “morning show” (or Tim Webster): previously 9am-midday, now 10am-2pm (*)
Afternoons: previously midday-3pm, now non-existent (*)
Drive: previously 3pm-6pm, now 2pm-6pm
Sports Today: previously and now 6pm-8pm (*)
Nights: previously and now 8pm-midnight (*)
(*) denotes syndicated (networked) programmes.
I can’t say that I’m surprised that this kind of thing can happen at 2UE, they have managed a couple similar minimisations of staff numbers in the last 12 months or so, firstly with a weekend schedule change which went from a multitude of programmes to a mere 4 programmes of six hours each, and then with a mass sacking of producers, newsreaders and others.
Although I’m not surprised that it can happen, I was a bit surprised that it did happen, mainly because less than ten days ago I was informed who would be filling in for John Stanley until he comes back from holidays.
The last week has been an “experiment” on 2UE, with a one week presenter shuffle while Mike Carlton and Peter Fitzsimons went on holidays a week earlier than everyone else, and 2UE tried things just in case Fitz didn’t re-sign with them for next year. The change saw John Stanley and Steve Price co-hosting the breakfast show, Glenn Wheeler filling John Stanley’s shoes on the afternoon show, and Murray Olds holding the Drive Show fort for Steve Price, it looks like Stuart Bocking has been allowed to test the daytime waters, filling in for Glenn Wheeler this weekend (a job which is supposed to be done by John Mangos…perhaps he is another victim of the cost cutting).
Before John Stanley went on breakfast duties I sent him an email wishing him all the best for breakfast and his holiday, in which I said something about hoping that Steve Liebmann would be filling in for him. I promptly received a reply from his executive producer, Kate (sorry, I don’t have the email in front of me, and therefore I don’t have her full name), informing me that Glenn would fill in for a week, and then Murray Olds would fill in until John gets back. I then replied to Kate wishing her all the best for her holidays if she was having any, informed her that I was looking forward to having Glenn on for a week, and that I don’t get along with Murray all that much, but I will get used to him after a little while. I also asked Kate to say hello or woof to her three-legged dog Flash for me.
On reflection, I can only hope that the schedule change is not designed to help me avoid Murray during my lunch breaks…don’t get me wrong, he irritates me and I have been known to send long angry emails to him arguing against things he says, but I still like him for one reason or another, and I can’t help but feel sorry for him as he has just lost a six weeks or thereabouts hosting position.
I suppose I should be happy that 2CC’s daily dose of local content just jumped from 6.5 hours to 8 hours, but it is going to be very strange having Mike Jeffreys on until 10am, and Mike Welsh starting at 2pm…I’m almost certain that I’m going to forget the schedule has changed and assume that they have satellite issues at least once.
Actually I thought I was hearing things when I heard a Drive Show promo during John Kerr’s New Day Australia on Saturday morning which said that the drive show runs from 2pm-6pm. I ruled out “hearing things” and the promo being incorrect when I heard it the second time, I instead thought that I must be going mad…but as a source said to me “So no, your (sic) not going crazy. 2UE is.”
Of course, the “Tim Webster, weekdays from 10am-2pm” promo proved beyond all reasonable doubt that 2UE are nuts, you would have to be nuts to move your most sought after network programme. Somewhere in the order of 65 stations have just had to rearrange their schedules and staff, and are probably seriously reconsidering their contract with Southern Cross Syndication…I bet the advertisers aren’t pleased that the ads they booked for the first hour of John Laws/Tim Webster are now in the final hour of the preceding show. Advertisers between midday and 2pm will either be incredibly pleased at the larger audience, or bitterly annoyed that they are being associated with the Laws brand.
In some ways it is quite funny that this schedule change will take effect when Mike Jeffreys returns on Monday, I hope he has been informed that he won’t be required on-air until 6am, and will have to stay on-air until 10am. Mike, in my experience, can use a nap by about 9:30 so it will be an interesting show.
Apparently it will all go back to normal when the voice of reason returns and waves his reasonable wand…I can only hope that Southern Cross don’t pay out his “end of 2008” contract before he gets back from holidays.
This week the (late) Friday Funny comes from 2UE’s Stuart Bocking (who apparently received it by email).
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said; “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station this breathalyser equipment must be broken.”
“I doubt it,” said the man, “tonight I’m the designated decoy”.
Do you have something you would like to contribute to Friday Funnies? If so, email it to smoothwallsamuel@gmail.com. All contributions welcome!
Good afternoon Stuart (what an unusual sentence…I’m used to saying good morning to you)
What a pleasant surprise to hear your voice in the afternoon, I remember the first time I heard you away from Lawsie’s show on Christmas day in 2004, I was eagerly trying to remember your name thinking "he sounds a lot like the co-driver…I wonder…"
Call me old-fashioned if you want, but I just don’t see the fuss about the child care rebate, surely if you have minimal financial difference between working and staying at home, the answer is obvious…stay at home with the kids! Most families are civilised and the parents should be able to come to some sort of agreement where either one parent works full-time or they both work part-time. Surely it is better for the children if a parent can be at home in those early developmental years, and I think home cooked meals will be much healthier than take away food every night.
If more people considered staying at home as a good option we would have less demand on child care, and in turn it would probably be more affordable for those who really need it.
On a different note…what a silly idea to dump the Westpac and NRMA rescue helicopters in favour of a for-profit Canadian company…I think a furry little alien by the name of Alf summed it up many years ago when he said "If it ain’t broke, don’t step on it".
Enjoy the food that Lynne Mullins brings in later today…I get the impression it won’t be a force feeding!
Have a good afternoon, and don’t disappear from overnights just yet!
It’s December, and that means the Musician(s) Of The Week award goes into Christmas mode for a while, and to get the ball rolling, the award this week goes to The Barenaked Ladies (one does have to wonder how many web filtering systems have just blocked access to this site) for their song Elf’s Lament.
I came across this song on Thursday when 2CC’s Mike Welsh asked me if I could track it down, apparently Lawsie played it a few years ago but never gave the name (surely if he gave the name he would have had to name the band…many people around the nation would have spat out their coffee). I managed to track it, and the lyrics, down and Welshie subsequently played it on Friday afternoon just before 6pm.
One thing that did strike me as perculiar when listening to the song is that one of the singers sounds an awful lot like Loadedog, who has an (almost) unique voice for a singer. I wasn’t going to mention that, but I thought it would be worthwhile seeing as the song lyrics seem awfully appropriate for a singer who sounds like someone who covered the latest anti-industrial relations laws rally…the fact that I’m on the other side of the fence to Loadedog on that issue is completely irrelevant, but probably also worth a mention.
Anyway, without further ado, the feature song, Elf’s Lament
I’m a man of reason, and they say “‘Tis the season to be jolly”
But it’s folly when you volley for position
Never in existence has there been such a resistance
To ideas meant to free us
If you could see us, then you’d listen
Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
There’s no union
We’re only through when we outdo the competition
I make toys, but I’ve got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There’s a list for who’s been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf
A full indentured servitude can reflect on one’s attitude
But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous
Absurd though it may seem, you know, I’ve heard there’s even been illegal doping
And though we’re coping, I just hope it’s not contagious
You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement
But when thrown into the moment, we just don’t seem so courageous
I make toys, but I’ve got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There’s a list for who’s been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf
You look at yourself
You’re an elf
And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories
Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren’t just happy making
crappy little gizmos
Every kid knows they’ll just throw this stuff away
We’re used to repetition, so we drew up a petition
We, the undersigned, feel undermined
Let’s redefine “employment”
We know that we’ve got leverage, so we’ll hand the fat man a beverage
And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment
It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow
He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went
I make toys, but I’ve got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There’s a list for who’s been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf.
Ninth seed Australian Kelvin Kerkow has easily accounted for fourth seed fellow Australian David Gourlay to win the Scottish International Bowls Tournament in Perth, Scotland.
After winning the first set 11-5, Kerkow went on to win the second set 13-3
Kerkow was the more composed of the two, with Gourlay appearing consistently frustrated at Kerkow’s excellent bowling, and resorting to mostly unsuccessful drives. Whilst Gourlay had a small comeback late in the first set, it was one of the few times where he appeared to have any chance of winning.
In the second set, Kerkow kept Gourlay scoreless for five ends, getting out to an 8-0 lead, before Gourlay scored 2 points in the sixth end. It too little too late though, as Kerkow blitzed Gourlay from there on, getting out to a 13-2 lead at the end of the 8th end. Gourlay won the next end, but at 13-3 it was all over.
Kelvin Kerkow understandably told BBC Scotland that he is "over the moon". Samuel Gordon-Stewart reporting for Samuel’s Blog and John Kerr
Kelvin Kerkow has easily won the first set of the Scottish International Lawn Bowls grand final, 11-5, against fellow Australian David Gourlay.
Ninth seed Kelvin Kerkow started the set well, and seemed more composed than 4th seed david Gourlay whose only answer was driving the ball in the hope of hitting something, a tactic which failed more often than not. By the end of the 7th set (the equivalent of a game in tennis), Kerkow led 8-1.
Gourlay then staged a comeback, getting back within three points of Kerkow, who led 8-5 after 9 ends, but it was all Kerkow from there, as he scored another two points to win the set 11-5.
Today’s final is being run over two sets of 11 ends, in the event of a draw there will be a tiebreaker of three ends.
Samuel Gordon-Stewart reporting for Samuel’s Blog and John Kerr
Congratulations today go to Australian radio stalwart and legend Bob Rogers, who is 80 years old (young?) today. Bob can still be heard six days per week on Sydney’s Easy Listening station 2CH, weekdays from 9am-midday, and Saturdays from 6pm-midnight.
(Bob Rogers in August)
Bob is still in good health, although he did admit to “senior moments” in a recent interview with The Sydney Morning Hearald’s Sue Javes:
I have to work harder than I used to. I need to prepare more material because I have more senior moments, but I’m lucky to be still doing something I love.
Bob will most likely continue doing something he loves until at least the end of 2009 when his current contract with 2CH expires…but as radio historian Wayne Mac said to me in a conversation earlier this year, Bob Rogers and the others who have been in radio for decades upon decades will never quit, the only things that will stop them is poor health or worse…but with Bob being in the form he is, he could still be behind the microphone in 2020, and if that’s what he wants to do, then more power to him.
Congratulations Bob, have a great birthday, and don’t eat too much cake (or at the very least eat it in moderation…I bet you’ll receive enough to last weeks!).
Australian lawn bowler David Gourlay will become the first player to contest three successive World Bowls Tour finals when he comes up against Kelvin Kerkow in an all Australian showdown at the grand final of the Scottish International Open Lawn Bowls tournament. In the semi-finals, Australian David Gourlay defeated Welshman Robert Weale 6-7, 10-2, 2-0 and ninth seed Australian Kelvin Kerkow upset 2nd seed Englishman Greg Harlow 6-4, 6-6.
The action gets underway at 12:45am Canberra time December 3 (1:45pm GMT December 2) and it would appear that 247.tv are offering a live webstream of the match…for a fee of £1.80 or approximately AUD$4.52.
I’m glad you had a good time at your Christmas function yesterday, sounds like you had a lot of fun.
You said earlier that you wouldn’t want to start work at the same time as George and Paul but you would like to go home when they do…well how about this idea. On an 9-5 day, start work on Perth time, and spend the rest of the day on Auckland time…so effectively you start work at 9am Perth time by which time it is already 2pm and you’ve got a morning tea break and a lunch break to catch up on…it could be 3:30 by the time you finish them so you can go and have afternoon tea, and then just because your boss is feeling generous you can go home an hour early!
And the Labor Party Coup…slightly more democratic than the Fijian one, but still a hard choice…how do I choose between a man who can’t remember a name, and a man who, if allowed to talk for any length of time, manages to veer off topic, blame the government for everything and get just about everyone off side with at least one of his comments.
Still, if I had to choose between Beazley, Rudd and ACT Chief Turnip Jon Stanhope, I know which one wouldn’t have a chance…and it’s not Beazley or Rudd!
I originally posted this on The RiotACT last year, but it is amusing enough for a re-run. This week’s Friday Funny is an extract of proceedings from Senate Estimates…filled with leaking members, buildings which are falling apart…and somewhere in there they discuss money thrown into ponds.
Senator FAULKNER—On another issue, what happens to all the money—not that there is many millions of dollars—the coins that are thrown into the fountains here at Parliament House?
Ms Penfold—I have known the answer to this, but I cannot remember.
Senator FAULKNER—I was not suggesting that you keep it yourself.
Ms Penfold—According to my recollection, I think it goes into our general revenue.
Senator FAULKNER—Really? It does not go to charity?
Ms Penfold—No.
Senator FAULKNER—Why do you think people throw coins into these fountains?
Ms Penfold—I wish I knew. It seems to be something—
Senator FAULKNER—It goes into general revenue?
Ms Penfold—I suppose it goes into supplementing—
Senator FAULKNER—Do we know how much money has gone into general revenue?
Ms Penfold—No, but we can find that out for you.
Senator FAULKNER—Who fishes the coins out?
Ms Penfold—I can understand why you think people might throw it in there in a charitable frame of mind, but I am not sure how we could work out which charity to donate it to.
Senator FIFIELD—How do you determine the mind of somebody throwing a coin?
Senator FAULKNER—You could easily work it out. There are staff charities here at Parliament House. We are asked to contribute to those on a regular basis.
Ms Penfold—There are dozens of them—that is right.
Senator FAULKNER—There are dozens of them, so pick one.
Ms Penfold—So 25c each?
Senator FAULKNER—No. I suspect that some of the visitors who do this do not actually think that this money is effectively going into your back pocket as the head of the Department of Parliamentary Services and into consolidated revenue. I suspect that they think, ‘I’ll put a 50c, $1 or $2 coin in there.’ If it is possible to imagine there is a more worthy organisation than the Department of Parliamentary Services, they might be the beneficiaries of it.
Ms Penfold—You do not think we ought to divide it amongst all the senators and members?
Senator FAULKNER—No. I am suggesting that you might consider that it would be appropriate to donate those moneys to charity. What do you think, Mr President? You are going to save the situation for us, are you?
The PRESIDENT—I would just like to point out that, of course, there are signs up asking people not to throw coins into the fountain. They seem to be working very well! I will have a talk with the Speaker and perhaps we may seek to have those moneys given to a charity—the Lions Club of Parliament House for instance. We just launched here the other day a very significant initiative that the Lions Club of Australia are putting forward to help with the research into spinal cord technology. We may, on a year-to-year basis, decide to give that money to a certain charity. I think it is a very good idea.
Senator FAULKNER—Good.
The PRESIDENT—But I would make the point that we try to discourage people from throwing money into the fountain.
Senator FAULKNER—I know you do. That is accepted. It does not work. People still chuck coins in the fountain. They even sing songs about such things.
The PRESIDENT—Perhaps if we took the signs away we might get twice as much money.
Senator FAULKNER—There are a lot more than three coins in the Parliament House fountain, I can tell you. I think it would be a good idea to check that out. I am surprised that someone cannot tell us how much money this generates for DPS. You can take that question on notice.
Ms Penfold—I suspect it is not material, but we will find out.
Senator FAULKNER—I accept that it would not be millions of dollars, but it might be money that some charity might be very grateful to receive.
Senator FIFIELD—A parliamentary wishing well.
Senator FORSHAW—Peter Costello is always—
Senator FAULKNER—I was going to say that with this great line up of Peter Costello supporters, a parliamentary wishing well is what you really want! I dawdled past the fountain in the centre of the building a couple of weeks ago. Is it called the black fountain, that square fountain? What is that fountain called?
Ms Penfold—The reflection pond, I am told.
Senator FAULKNER—My God, is it really—the reflection pond? There we are. I was reflecting on the fact that I was walking past when it was raining and there were all these buckets around catching all the drips from the roof. Is there a problem there? Is the roof leaking?
Ms Penfold—There is a problem.
Senator FORSHAW—You could use the money from the fountain to fix the roof.
Ms Penfold—It would take a long time.
Senator FORSHAW—Take the signs away then.
Mr Smith—We have had a problem with the roof skyline structure for a considerable amount of time. At this stage, we are investigating repairs to it but we do not have a solution that we can economically implement at this time.
Senator FAULKNER—So the roof is leaking?
Mr Smith—Yes, it is.
Senator FAULKNER—What part of the roof?
Mr Smith—It comes from the glazed skylight.
Senator FAULKNER—Which is a large skylight, isn’t it?
Mr Smith—It is a rather massive structure, yes.
Senator FAULKNER—Are these leaks getting worse?
Mr Smith—I do not think it is getting worse.
Senator FAULKNER—You are not going to wash someone away in a major downpour?
Mr Smith—No. It is a fairly predictable leak. It is just a couple of leaking members. But, as soon as we fix those, we generate leaks in other places.
Senator FAULKNER—Did you say ‘a couple of leaking members’?
Mr Smith—A couple of leaking members in the roof. The glazed skylight is made up of a lot of different glass panels and a lot of aluminium structures.
Senator FAULKNER—There are more than a couple in the caucus. So that is not going to be fixed?
Mr Smith—We are investigating further into that, but at this stage we do not have a fix for it.
Senator FAULKNER—The joint has sprung leaks all over the place, really, hasn’t it? Did you fix the leak in the forecourt water feature?
Mr Smith—Yes, the forecourt water feature leak has been fixed. We replaced all the sealants in the floor and repaired some of the sealant on the cascading slat structure. The water that we are using in that pond now is purely related to evaporation, backwashing and cleaning.
Senator FAULKNER—So you fixed the swimming pool leak?
Mr Smith—The swimming pool leak was fixed in the recreation centre refurbishment.
Senator FAULKNER—So the roof is leaking. Are there any other leaks around the joint at the moment?
Mr Smith—In a building of this size, we are always going to have leaks in any given year. We have actually fixed a number of leaks which have been around in the last 10 years. We recently fixed the leak into the loading dock. Every time it rained we used to get water flowing in there. We recently fixed that one. We fixed the leak outside the recreation centre, where every time it rained we used to get water into the basement. That has also been fixed. A building of this size will generate leaks as it ages, and we have to get on top of them as quickly as possible.
Senator FAULKNER—Yes. So which ones have you not fixed?
Mr Smith—I think the skylight is the biggest example of a leak we have now. From time to time we do get failures in various pipe systems throughout the building. We fix those as we find them. However, I am not aware of any other leaks that we are currently working on or that we currently have.
Senator FAULKNER—I read an article in the Canberra Times about the loading dock leak. Is that now fixed?
Mr Smith—I have not seen that article but, if it refers to the leak I talked about, yes, it has been fixed.
Senator FAULKNER—Did that involve moving two Chinese lion sculptures?
Mr Smith—Yes. It required us to do a fairly major excavation in the formal gardens, so we took the lion sculptures out for conservation work at the same time. It also kept them out of harm’s way from the excavation equipment.
Senator FAULKNER—How long had that leak been around for?
Mr Smith—No-one seems to know, but we estimate that it has been around for 10 years or longer.
Senator FAULKNER—What was the cost of repairing that leak?
Mr Smith—I do not have a figure on that with me, but I can take that on notice.
Senator FAULKNER—Did you say the leak was there for a 10-year period?
Mr Smith—We estimate that. We do not really know.
Senator FAULKNER—Is it true that about 100 million litres of water leaked during that period?
Mr Smith—No. The leak there was purely related to stormwater getting into the building. Every time it rained the leak generated. It was not related to the water systems in the building as far as pipe water goes. I have just found the figure. It cost $32,000 to fix that leak.
Senator FAULKNER—What was the cost of repairing the fountain out the front?
Mr Smith—It cost $46,000.
Senator FAULKNER—I raised at the last estimates committee, Ms Penfold, the issue of the lost lustre and clarity on the steps on the Senate side of the building. What did that cost to fix up?
Ms Penfold—The figure is here somewhere. Off the top of my head I thought it was about $6,000 or $8,000, but I will find the list. It was $8,176.
Senator FAULKNER—That turned out to be a bit of a waste of money, didn’t it, because something went wrong with the lustre and clarity in that staircase recently?
Ms Penfold—Something happened to it, yes.
Senator FAULKNER—Could you explain to us what happened?
Ms Penfold—My understanding is that someone dropped a bottle of red wine on it.
Senator FAULKNER—Have you rounded up the culprit?
Ms Penfold—No, we have not rounded up the culprit. The culprit reported it immediately to the appropriate people, and the cleaners were down there as quickly as they could be. But, as you would have seen, it left quite a stain until this morning.
Senator FAULKNER—In fact until late last night, when I could not walk down the steps because there were two gentlemen there wanting to make sure it was all cleared up before Senate estimates—which was very kind of you, and I wanted to thank you very much for that.
Ms Penfold—I have said already in other forums, Senator, how useful this process is.
Senator FAULKNER—Yes. How much did that cost?
Mr Smith—The cost of the repair was $800.
Senator FAULKNER—You are not going to charge the culprit for that, are you?
Mr Smith—No. I believe it was a genuine accident and the person did the right thing by reporting it straightaway so we could get the cleaners onto it.
Senator FAULKNER—I agree. So you can assure us now that it has all been refurbished appropriately?
Ms Penfold—The main spot where the wine was dropped was looking pretty good to me this morning, although possibly not quite as shiny as after the last lot of polishing. There are still a few little stains from where it dripped further down which I imagine may be dealt with or may be left for next time we do the full polish.
CHAIR—Would this be a convenient time for a break?
Senator FAULKNER—I think it would be a very convenient time for a break.
CHAIR—That would be wonderful.
Proceedings suspended from 10.32 am to 10.53 am
CHAIR—Ms Penfold, did you have some information you could help the committee with regarding coins in fountains?
Ms Penfold—Yes, Senator. The advice I have now is that we clean out the coins about once a month. We get about $10 to $15 a month in Australian coins, which, as we have said, goes into our consolidated revenue, so we are talking about perhaps $120 to $200 a year. We also get a lot of foreign coins. In fact, they have been sitting in the CFO’s office while we wonder what to do with them. As a result of the discussion I have just had with my people, we have decided that we might see if we can feed those into the scheme that Qantas runs with UNICEF—
CHAIR—The Change for Good program?
Ms Penfold—A Change for Good! Absolutely.
Senator FIFIELD—That is inconspicuous compassion.
Senator FAULKNER—That is a sensible thing to do and I appreciate the secretary’s quick work and good sense.
CHAIR—Are there further questions for the department? You had the floor, Senator Faulkner.
Senator FAULKNER—You can have a little break from me and I will come back later on.
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