Archive for May, 2009

The hamster must be on holidays…

…so I suppose that I’ll have to peddle instead if I want this blog to keep ticking over.

Actually I’ve just been “under the weather” for the last few days. I’m not back to 100% health just yet, but I am getting there. Annoyingly I’ve barely heard a word about the federal budget, so it will probably take me a little while to get up to speed on it.

The one thing which I can confirm now though is that I will be leaving Canberra on Sunday morning and making use of two buses and a train to get to Deniliquin, and I shall be returning via the same method (albeit through Albury) on Saturday the 23rd.

I’m not thrilled about this method of transport, but it’s too late to start walking.

Samuel

May 15th, 2009 at 04:41am

Can’t stay up for the budget

My coughing fits are too much for me now, I’m going try to get some sleep instead. I’m recording the budget, and The Bill which I missed on Saturday and is being repeated tonight.

I’ll try to catch up with it all (well, the budget at least) in the wee hours and have a poll about it for you tomorrow.

May the night be pleasant, and Mr. Swan be nicer than expected.

Samuel

2 comments May 12th, 2009 at 05:52pm

Dreams of buses

I’m not sure what to make of two dreams I have had in recent days.

In one dream I was given a bus by people lurking in a dark alleyway. It’s entirely possible that the people in the alleyway either constructed the bus or had been “maintaining” it, because it fell apart after a few minutes.

In the other dream, I stole a bus from a man who appeared to be flying it like a kite. The bus promptly crashed over a cliff and into a river which had replaced Limestone Avenue.

Anybody want to make sense of these?

Samuel

2 comments May 12th, 2009 at 11:43am

I could have been Mark Parton’s morning paper boy

I note with interest that part of Mark Parton’s morning routine is to visit the Caltex Woolworths service station in Belconnen to pick up the newspaper:

I usually whip on down to the Woolies petrol station at Belconnen first thing to grab a Canberra Times. Laurie’s usually on deck there. He’s been working the graveyard shift there for a while. He seems like a nice bloke. He’s always the same. He’ll say ‘g’day’ and have a brief chat, but he knows that most people who are coming into the servo at 3:30 in the morning, probably aren’t up for a long involved chat. He is refreshingly ‘old school’.

If we go back a few months, that could have been me instead of “Laurie”. I was nearly employed there earlier this year, but baulked at their deceptive recruitment practices when I was told during induction that I was being employed in a role which was not the one I had been interviewed for, not the one I had applied for. I would have taken the job if it hadn’t been for this…in hindsight perhaps I should have, but with recruitment being a virtual con-job, I couldn’t bear to stick around and see what other footwear would eventually fall.

I suppose it would have been an interesting sight…me ranting back at the radio during Jim Ball’s show, oblivious to the fact that a fuel pump needs to be authorised! I wonder how different Mark’s story would be if that had been the case.

Samuel

2 comments May 12th, 2009 at 08:03am

Bureau Broken!

The weather bureau’s Canberra temperature page has gone on holidays. It’s currently stuck on the 5:45am temperatures, and it looks like it’s the entire Canberra weather data feed because Weatherzone have the same problem.

This makes me wonder what radio stations are doing for current temperatures.

I use the Gungahlin Weather Centre for Gungahlin temperatures as a matter of course, but I have had to fall back on ActewAGL for City temperatures (which may be slightly out considering that it’s on top of a concrete building) and Weather Underground’s Conder temperatures for the Tuggeranong weather.

It looks like the bureau’s entire automated system has gone bang, as Sydney is also stuck in a time warp. Oops!

A day when things don’t break is not a day at all.

Update 7:50am: And the Bureau are back at work. End Update

Samuel

May 12th, 2009 at 07:23am

An open message to Jim Ball’s caller “Rick”

To Rick, who called Jim Ball a bit after 4:20am today.

Rick, firstly before I get on to my main point, congratulations on having a kid. I hope Jack grows up to be your pride and joy.

I have to clarify something which you said in reference to something I said. I did not say to Jim that gravity’s influence had changed. What I said was that I am often amused at how the rules which our scientists have made up to try to explain how the universe works, keep changing. The scientists come up with these great rules and regulations for everything based on their evidence, assumptions, and as the article which Jim quoted said, theoretical calculations.

My point really was that we should take all of these alterations to the scientists’ rules with a grain of salt, because they are almost all theories, and not necessarily the absolute truth. It is important to differentiate between the laws of physics which actually exist in the universe, and the so-called “laws of physics” published by scientists. The former actually exist, are real, are happening, and are the truth. The latter are rules created by humans to attempt to explain how everything works. If scientists were 100% correct, then the former and latter would be a perfect match, but because we, as humans, do not understand everything, the latter are not 100% correct, and constantly require modification as we either discover more, or correct mistakes.

It’s also worth noting that there is absolutely no good reason why the real physical laws of physics can’t change over time, especially if a superior being has some control over our universe.

Rick, it’s great that you have a good understanding of the scientists’ laws of physics, but you of all people should realise that they are theories, and just like every other theory in science, they are there to be proven and disproven. The idea that we shouldn’t consider a scientific theory to be wrong is, well, wrong.

Best of luck with your kid.

Regards,
Samuel Gordon-Stewart
Canberra
(the caller before you)

The article which started this whole conversation is to do with Dwarf Galaxies prompting “another modification of Newton’s theory of gravitation“.

May 12th, 2009 at 05:00am

The $58 Billion Deficit

The three possibilities which spring to mind regarding the federal government’s supposed $58 billion deficit

1. It’s accurate, strategically leaked in an effort to get the horror headline out of the way, and Wayne Swan will focus on favourable points tonight.
2. It’s inaccurate, strategically leaked, the deficit is lower, but that’s about the only good news and Wayne Swan will milk it for all it’s worth.
3. Channel Seven made it up in an effort to get some publicity for themselves, and the government can’t be bothered calling it “wrong” because the budget deficit isn’t anywhere near that figure.

My instincts tell me to rule out number three, and lean towards number one.

A quick calculation: $58 billion deficit in a country with a population of 21,714,000 = $2671.09 per person. A strange thought just crossed my mind…imagine if the federal government had a “reverse stimulus package” and confiscated $2671.09 from each person in the country…the dollar figure would have to be higher because they could only easily do that with taxpayers, but regardless, the howling and screaming would be deafening, as would be the noise of people filing for bankruptcy, and I’d be one of them. Such a thing would never happen, but it is somewhat easier to digest such large numbers when they are broken down to the per-person figure.

Incidentally, Wayne Swan would have to be pleased about Four Corners airing a controversial (and one-sided) investigation into Rugby League players’ indiscretions with people of the opposite sex. If last week’s newspaper headlines and this morning’s talkback is anything to go by, it will drown discussion of the budget until late this afternoon at least.

Samuel

May 12th, 2009 at 03:31am

July 18

If I have a car of my own by then, I know exactly where I’ll be on Saturday July 18.

Ray Hadley and the Continuous Call Team – consisting of league Immortal Bob ‘Bozo’ Fulton, Darryl ‘The Big Marn’ Brohman and Steve ‘Blocker’ Roach – have informally adopted the Binalong Brahmans rugby league team.

In an off-the-cuff radio announcement last week, Hadley – 2GB morning presenter and leader of the weekend rugby league panel the Continuous Call – said he’d taken an interest in how the Brahmans were travelling and would bring the team out to Binalong to broadcast the game against arch-rivals Harden on July 18.

I was too tired on the day to go to Singleton when they visited the wife carrying championships last year, and had no transport for it this year. I have something to work towards, although I’m not convinced that I’ll be able to get there.

Thanks to The Right Aussie for the tipoff.

Samuel

May 11th, 2009 at 03:52pm

Voltaire may be right, but I get the danger

A colleague quoted Voltaire at me last night (and yes, I do mean “at me”…this was too sudden and unexpected to be a “to me” moment):

“It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.”

He was referring to my on-air comments during the week about Wayne Swan’s looming budget taking the wrong approach to the economic crisis, if the leaks in the papers are to be believed, and using an economist and another (same party, different parliament) politician to prove my point.

It reminds me of another Voltaire quote:

“Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.”

At its base, what I see hear is that the dead are beyond earthly punishment. Good news for him, not so for me…who knows what Wayne might slip in to the budget in order to spite me…some sort of 100% income tax perhaps?

If Wayne’s budget is anywhere near as awful as I expect it to be, then rest assured that I will publish here an interview between Alan Jones and Wayne Swan, where Wayne, showing his ignorance to economics and his inability to think on his feet, declared that traffic jams cause inflation.

I think I’ll upload it in advance.

Samuel

1 comment May 11th, 2009 at 11:44am

Useless Information

Poland’s national anthem has the rather pessimistic title “Poland is not yet lost”…

…but we intend on misplacing it tomorrow

Samuel

5 comments May 11th, 2009 at 09:44am

Who delivers a crime scene to a police station?

When I read this press release, my mind started whirring away with questions:

Police in the State’s far north are conducting inquiries after the body of a cyclist was discovered next to the busy Pacific Highway, near Byron Bay, this morning.

About 7am, a member of the public attended Byron Bay Police Station and handed in part of a pushbike found badly damaged beside the highway’s southbound lanes at Tyagarah, about 5km north of the Byron Bay interchange.

As a result, police from Tweed/Byron Local Area Command attended the location and found the body of a female cyclist in heavy scrub next to a bridge.

A crime scene was secured by local police and specialist officers from the Ballina Crash Investigation Unit called in to carry out inquiries into the woman’s death.

They’re examining possible links between the woman’s death and a pantech truck – found a short distance away in Woodford Lane, Ewingsdale – which had sustained significant front end damage.

The driver of the truck is assisting police with their investigation at Byron Bay Police Station.

Anyone who witnessed the incident is urged to contact Byron Bay Police Station or Ballina Crash Investigation Unit via Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.

I’ve called the police to a number of apparent crime scenes or other situations which required their attention, but I have never sought to deliver a crime scene to them…and there’s a good reason for this. The police have these wonderful people called “crime scene examiners” who analyse a crime scene as it is, where it is, with as little third-party manipulation as possible. Picking up a piece of evidence and carrying it to a police station removes and/or pollutes potentially vital evidence…the basic rule is that you do not alter a crime scene.

I don’t know if the person who carried the damaged half of a bike to the police station had good intentions or not, but seriously, just call the police or visit the police station…don’t pick up half the crime scene. Sometimes I think this planet would be better off without the mass public…or that I need to move to a different, saner planet…but where would the fun be in that?

Samuel

May 11th, 2009 at 06:04am

Not the best night…

A quick checklist on how not to have a good night in a radio station

1. Have a sore throat and almost no voice
2. Find that virtually every scheduled break is wrong, and you need to find a way to fix them all…meaning dropped breaks and probably needing to find a slot for them later in the night
3. Voice nearly gives up on you during a weather read
4. Miss the start of a break due to trying to get water from the kitchen to help with the sore throat (and the interview being unexpectedly cut in half)
5. Have the end of the break mangled by the computer, forcing manual correction of the next break
Updated6. Startrax declares that it won’t play an ad because of top of hour timing issues, so I move it to the first spot in the next break…it then decides to play the ad and prevent me from skipping the manually inserted ad, forcing me to mute Startrax and create dead air while I abort the ad and force the next one to play. The break was already well over the allocated time, so I returned to the show with only moments left before Sheridan started talking again.
7. Lose my voice during the final weather read and start squeaking!
8. Now for the walk home…if I wasn’t carrying stuff which I don’t want to get broken, it would be great if somebody could run me over and cause me to become unconscious for a while as my throat heals.End Update

And counting…

Samuel

May 10th, 2009 at 09:05pm

Samuel’s Musician Of The Week: Paul Kelly

This week’s award goes to Paul Kelly, and I have been waiting anxiously for the random number generator to pick this song ever since Jim Ball moved from 2GB to 2UE back in March last year.

The feature song this week is Jim Ball’s theme song, Paul Kelly’s “Sydney From A 747”.

Have you ever seen Sydney from a 747 at night? (yeah)
Sydney shines such a beautiful light
And I can see Bondi through my window way off to the right (yeah)
And the curling waves on a distant break
And the sleeping city just about to wake
Have you ever seen Sydney from a 747 at night?

Now the red roofs are catching the first rays of the morning sun (yeah)
My eyes are full of sand from my midnight run
And the captain says belt up now we’ll be touching down in ten (yeah)
So I press my seat and I straighten up
I fold my tray and I stash my cup
As the red roofs are catching the first rays of the morning sun

Have you ever fallen for a girl with different coloured eyes? (yeah)
And sent her letters with one or two lies
Have you ever longed to see the sun fall where it used to rise? (yeah)
And quit your job on the spot
Bought that ticket yeah spent the lot
Have you ever fallen for a girl with different coloured eyes?

Have you ever seen Sydney from a 747 at night?
Have you ever seen Sydney from a 747 at night?
Have you ever seen Sydney from a 747 at night?
Me I’ve never seen Dallas from a DC9

I just love that cheeky little line at the end. That subtle wit is a great match for Jim’s show.

Samuel

May 10th, 2009 at 08:39pm

3AW Technical Issues

3AW seem to be having trouble with their tieline link to their commentary team at the AFL this afternoon, as it has dropped out multiple times this afternoon. They’re lucky that 5AA Adelaide (who regularly relay 3AW’s coverage) have their own commentary team out there today because AW are using AA as their backup team.

Current outage over five minutes duration, one wonders how many extra sponsor mentions they will have to fit in to the next quarter if they even get the link back.

Update: 3AW’s commentary team were back online for the half time wrap, but Rex Hunt was audibly ranting at somebody on the phone in the background. Now for the second half they’ve decided to stay with 5AA’s biased coverage. End Update

Update 2:37pm: Somebody told 5AA that 3AW’s commentary team will be back on-deck shortly. I hope they were right. End Update

Update 3:48pm: Full time, and still no sign of the 3AW commentary team…and it only took 5AA until very late in the final quarter to concede that Adelaide’s opponents might just be worthy winners. End Update

Samuel

May 10th, 2009 at 02:07pm

Looking to borrow a car: 16th to 22nd/23rd May

I normally wouldn’t ask publicly like this, but the whole “two buses and a train” option is less than appealing and hardly convenient.

I’m looking to borrow a car from late Saturday the 16th of May until either late Friday the 22nd or early Saturday and 23rd. I’m willing to pay a negotiable fee for the use of the car (up to about $200…and yes, that applies to the people who have already turned me down) and I’ll pay for my own fuel.

Car needs to be registered, running and be capable of making it to Deniliquin and back (approximately 500kms there and 500kms back), but I don’t care if it would pass a roadworthy inspection.

If you think you can help, or you want more information, please contact me on 0405 302 499 or email samuel@samuelgordonstewart.com

Thanks,
Samuel

May 10th, 2009 at 10:43am

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