A couple weeks ago when Mike Frame was filling in for Mike Jeffreys on the 2CC breakfast show I received an email from someone who would prefer to remain anonymous, asking if I knew the artist or title of the song Framey played at the start of his show each day (and tends to play just about every other time he is on the radio). At the time I didn’t, but as it was something I had been wondering for a while I decided to investigate for them, and after jotting down some lyrics and doing a bit of research I was able to come up with the artist and title.
To that end, the musician of the week this week is Australian country music artist Wayne Law, and the feature song is Two Ton Chance. Wayne has a website, but I must say that I found his accompanying MySpace page to be a tad more interesting, especially considering that it contains the full version of the song.
Well, eight short seconds is a long, long time
when you’re sittin’ on a Brahma with hurtin’ on it’s mind
But it’s the last chute on this run and you’ve got to make it pay this time
Gate busts open
Blow or spin
You’re getting’ dizzy
He keeps turnin’ in
And you’re prayin’ that the man will find the buzzer sooner this go round
Hold on for dear life
This ain’t no way
To make an easy livin’ but I like it this way
Lord I love it
This crazy show
I’ve always dreamed of ridin’ rodeo
I’ve had some wrecks and I’ve been broke inside
But more than once I’ve drawn the money ride, yeah
I stake my dreams on this wicked dance
And I let it ride on a Two Ton Chance
There ain’t no way of tellin’ which way is up
No trouble findin’ the quickest way down
And that grease painted crazy,
He’s the best friend you’ve got out there
The crowd’s a riot
The judges score
Hey cowboy
This is what you came for
Lord I love it
This crazy show
I was born to ride the rodeo
I’ve had some wrecks and I’ve been broke inside
But more than once I’ve drawn the money ride, yeah
I stake my dreams on this wicked dance
And I let it ride on a Two Ton Chance
Lord I love it
This crazy show
I’ve always dreamed of ridin’ rodeo
I’ve had some wrecks and I’ve been broke inside
But more than once I’ve drawn the money ride, yeah
I stake my dreams on this wicked dance
And let it ride on a Two Ton Cha-ya-ance
I heard a song during the week that I have heard many times before, but on this occasion I paid more attention to the lyrics than usual, and I started to think about it. The song in question is “At Seventeen” and the singer is Janis Ian. Have a read of the lyrics, and I’ll detail my thoughts below.
I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say, “come dance with me”
And murmur vague obscenities
It isn’t all it seems at seventeen
A brown eyed girl in hand-me-downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said pity, please, the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve
In the rich-relationed home-town queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly
Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debentures of quality
And dubious integrity
Their small town eyes will gape at you in
Dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen
To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me
We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, “come dance with me”
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me, at seventeen
Clive Robertson played this song on Tuesday morning and followed it with a comment along the lines of “Some people say Janis complained too much, but I think she may be on to something”. It’s not a direct quote, but it is close enough. I had been thinking about the song as it was unfolding and it struck me that, whilst I can empathise with Janis’ sentiments, she is going about it the wrong way.
I have never really understood the point of teenage (and in particular high school) relationships. I came to the conclusion that the whole thing was pointless long before I reached high school. I remember with some clarity a few times in primary school where I started relationships which were more serious than mere friendship.
The first one was when I was about ten years old. A girl my age moved in very close to my house, and was placed in the same class as me at school. We developed a relationship over the course of a week, and things were going well, until they started to go wrong. I suppose in many ways a lot of the problems were caused by my general intolerance of things I didn’t particularly like at the time, such as certain afternoon television programs and the people who were absolutely enthralled by them…and chewing gum, something I still regard as possibly the most repulsive thing ever invented. The bottom line was that she was nice enough, and I liked her, but I didn’t like a lot of things about her, and therefore started to dislike her. She was not particularly pleased that I constantly refused to do things, including going anywhere near her chewing gum.
Eventually we had a nice loud yelling match between the school’s quadrangles during recess.
I vaguely recall a number of friendships during primary school coming and going, and from memory a lot of the lost friendships were due to disagreements over interests, and my annoyance over some of their interests (some of the afternoon children’s programs ranked highly on my list of annoyances).
Later on in primary school I became infatuated with a particular female who was a year older than me. She found me to be quite annoying and repulsive, and I got in trouble on a number of occasions for sexual harassment (the way the primary school teachers set about convincing me that my actions were inappropriate without ever really explaining what was wrong or why it was wrong proved to be quite entertaining. It would have been blatantly obvious to them that the majority of students my age and above were aware of the “facts of life”, but they were prevented from discussing them with us). I liked her, but she didn’t like me, I knew this, but I liked her too much to care…for a while anyway, after that I became indifferent to her as chasing her was clearly pointless.
Towards the end of primary school the school counsellor decided that it would be a good idea for me to have a tour of the high school I was going to attend, and meet the counsellor of that school. During this tour, I happened to briefly visit a classroom containing (amongst others) the female I had previously been infatuated with. When I started attending that high school the next year, she was notably absent. I would hope that my appearance on that day (and the fact that I would subsequently attend the school) did not make her change school, but it is a possibility.
By this stage I had more or less come to the conclusion that such relationships were pointless. I had nothing to gain from such a relationship, and they were usually just a popularity contest anyway.
A short time later (after realising that the majority of people in my year saw me as an outsider) the truth of the matter became obvious, and I quite happily avoided trying to form relationships. I had my select group of friends, and that was a good thing, but there was no point in trying to form a relationship. This, in many ways, made high school a much more pleasurable experience for me than it was for many others.
The main problem with relationships, as I see it, is the need to get along with people. I find a lot of people incredibly annoying and irritating, and the thought of spending the rest of my life with them (or a few years followed by a messy and agonising breakup) to be incredibly troubling. The thought of deliberately spending a short amount of time with someone I’m only slightly interested in is just as troubling.
For this reason I do not actively seek out relationships. I am content with myself. I’m sure that many people see this as strange, but I think it is perfectly logical. I’m not a person who really relates well to others at a personal level for an extended period of time, and as I am happy by myself, I don’t see any good reason to attempt to start a long-term personal relationship.
Perhaps one day I will find someone who I can be happy with on a personal level, but I know the chances of it are not very high, and as long as I am happy, that is all that really matters to me. Besides which, I find pets to be far more agreeable than many humans. That’s not to say that I don’t get along with humans…I get along with most humans without any problems at either a colleague or friend level, but at a personal level, I would much rather deal with pets who, for me at least, are far easier to get along with.
This week the award goes to Olivia Newton John, and the feature song is one which I consider to be a highlight of her repertoire, “Let Me Be There”
Wherever you go
Wherever you may wander in your life
Surely you know
I’ll always wanna be there
Holding your hand
And standing by to catch you when you fall
Seein’ you through
In everything you do
Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever’s wrong and make it right (make it right)
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there (oh let me be there)
Watching you grow
And going through the changes in your life
That’s how I know
I always wanna be there
Whenever you feel you need a friend to lean on, here I am
Whenever you call, you know I’ll be there
Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever’s wrong and make it right (make it right)
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there (oh let me be there)
Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever’s wrong and make it right (make it right)
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there (let me be there)
All I ask you is let me be there (oh let me be there)
On Tuesday night Stuart Bocking, without knowing it, solved one of my personal mysteries by playing a song. There are a number of songs that I recognise when I hear them but don’t know the artist or title…some of these drive me nuts because I desperately want to know the artist and title but don’t recognise enough of the song to find out this information.
On Tuesday night, Stuart played “Too Many Times” by Mental As Anything…needless to say this is one of the songs on my “need more information” list. So, now that I finally have the information I need about this song, Mental As Anything are the musicians of the week, and Too Many Times is the feature song.
Too many times, too many times
Too many times, too many times
Too many times I’ve seen the sun come up through bloodshot eyes this week
No matter what I do since we broke up I find it hard to sleep
The room is spinning from too many drinks I’ve drunken by myself
I know that stayin’ here and drinkin’ beer is no good for my health
What is there left to do
But to drink and watch the view
I think that it might rain this afternoon
Too many times, too many times
Too many times, too many times
The doctor that I went to couldn’t do any good
He gave me pills for sleeping,
I took more than I should, than I should.
Too many times I’ve seen the sun come up through bloodshot eyes this week
No matter what I do since we broke up I find it hard to sleep
What is there left to do
But to drink and watch the view
I think that it might rain this afternoon
Too many times, too many times
Too many times, too many times
Too many times, too many times
Too many times, too many times
Too many times, too many times
This week the award goes to Willie Nelson, and the feature song is “On The Road Again”.
On the road again
Just can’t wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin’ music with my friends
And I can’t wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Goin’ places that I’ve never been
Seein’ things that I may never see again,
And I can’t wait to get on the road again.
On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
We’re the best of friends
Insisting that the world be turnin’ our way
And our way
Is on the road again
Just can’t wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin’ music with my friends
And I can’t wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
We’re the best of friends
Insisting that the world be turnin’ our way
And our way
Is on the road again
Just can’t wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin’ music with my friends
And I can’t wait to get on the road again
And I can’t wait to get on the road again
This week the award goes to Huey Lewis and The News, and the feature song is one Clive Robertson decided to play for me a bit over a week ago.
I used to be a renegade, I used to fool around
But I couldn’t take the punishment, and had to settle down
Now I’m playin’ it real straight, and yes I cut my hair
You might think I’m crazy, but I don’t even care
’cause I can tell what’s going on
It’s hip to be square
It’s hip to be square
I like my bands in business suits, I watch ’em on TV
I’m working out most everyday and watchin’ what I eat
They tell me that it’s good for me, but I don’t even care
I know that it’s crazy
I know that it’s nowhere
There is no denying that
It’s hip to be square
It’s hip to be square
It’s hip to be square
So hip to be square
It’s not too hard to figure out, you see it everyday
And those that were the farthest out have gone the other way
You see them on the freeway, it don’t look like a lot of fun
But don’t you try to fight it; an idea who’s time has come.
Don’t tell me that I’m crazy
Don’t tell me I’m nowhere
Take it from me
It’s hip to be square
It’s hip to be square
It’s hip to be square
So hip to be square
Tell ’em boys
Here there and everywhere
Hip hip, so hip to be square
Here, there and everywhere
Hip, hip
Here there and everywhere
Hip hip, so hip to be square
Here, there and everywhere
Hip, hip
Here there and everywhere
Hip hip, so hip to be square
Here, there and everywhere
Hip, hip
Here there and everywhere
Hip hip, so hip to be square
Here, there and everywhere
(So hip to be square)
Hip, hip
This week the award goes to The Pretenders, and the feature song is Don’t Get Me Wrong.
Don’t get me wrong
If I’m looking kind of dazzled
I see neon lights
Whenever you walk by
Don’t get me wrong
If you say hello and I take a ride
Upon a sea where the mystic moon
Is playing havoc with the tide
Don’t get me wrong
Don’t get me wrong
If I’m acting so distracted
I’m thinking about the fireworks
That go off when you smile
Don’t get me wrong
If I split like light refracted
I’m only off to wander
Across a moonlit mile
Once in awhile
Two people meet
Seemingly for no reason
They just pass on the street
Suddenly thunder
Showers everywhere
Who can explain the thunder and rain
But there’s something in the air
Don’t get me wrong
If I come and go like fashion
I might be great tomorrow
But hopeless yesterday
Don’t get me wrong
If I fall in the mode of passion
It might be unbelievable
But lets not say so long
It might just be fantastic
Don’t get me wrong
This week the award goes to The Beatles (again), mainly due to the fact that the feature song was used to great effect in the tribute WIN Television put together for Peter Leonard. (And yes, for those of you who are wondering, I do have a bunch of things to post here that I haven’t done over the last few days).
There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
I am dedicating the award this week to the memory of the late Stan Zemanek.
The feature song is one he played regularly, and added various amusing negative things callers had said about him to the instrumental bits of the song. The winner of the award this week is Pat Benetar, and the feature song is “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”.
You’re a real tough cookie with a long history
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me
That’s OK, lets see how you do it
Put up your dukes, lets get down to it
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Why Don’t You Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Fire Away!
You come on with a come on, you don’t fight fair
That’s OK, see if I care
Knock me down, it’s all in vain
I’ll get right back on my feet again
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Why Don’t You Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Fire Away!
You’re a real tough cookie with a long history
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case
You better make sure you put me in my place
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Come On, hit Me With Your Best Shot
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Fire Away!
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Why Don’t You Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Fire Awaaaay!
This week the award goes to Ricky Nelson, and the feature song is one I think he performs brilliantly, Hello Mary Lou.
Hello Mary Lou
Goodbye heart
Sweet Mary Lou
I’m so in love with you
I knew Mary Lou
We’d never part
So Hello Mary Lou
Goodbye heart
Passed me by one sunny day
Flashed those big brown eyes my way
And ooh I wanted you forever more
Now I’m not one that gets around
Swear my feet stuck to the ground
Though I never did meet you before
I said Hello Mary Lou
Goodbye heart
Sweet Mary Lou
I’m so in love with you
I knew Mary Lou
We’d never part
So Hello Mary Lou
Goodbye heart
I saw your lips I heard your voice
Believe me I just had no choice
Wild horses couldn’t make me stay away
I thought about a moonlit night
Arms around you good an’ tight
All I had to see for me to say
I said Hello Mary Lou
Goodbye heart
Sweet Mary Lou
I’m so in love with you
I knew Mary Lou
We’d never part
So Hello Mary Lou
Goodbye heart
Now that I am much happier and I’ve got sound working in Windows Vista the way I like it, I think this is an appropriate song (and it makes up for me missing out on the Musician(s) Of The Week Award last week). Cliff Richard’s Wired For Sound.
Update: This really is a mess…this wasn’t supposed to appear until after something I haven’t written yet. End Update
I like small speakers
I like tall speakers
If they’ve music
They’re wired for sound
Walkin’ about with a head full of music
Casette in my pocket and I’m gonna use it
Stereo
Out on the streets you know
Oh woh oh woh oh woh oh…
Into the car go to work and I’m cruisin’
I never think that I’ll blow all my fuses
Traffic flows – into the breakfast show
Oh woh oh woh oh woh oh…
Oh oh oh
Power from the needle to the plastic
A.M.-F.M.
I feel so ecstatic now
It’s music I’ve found
And I’m wired for sound
I was small boy who don’t like his toys
I could not wait to get wired for sound
I met a girl and she told me she loved me
I said you love me then love means you must like what I like-
My music is dynamite
Oh woh oh woh oh woh oh…
She said-I’m not a girl you put on at a stand by
I am a girl who demands that her love is amplified
Switch in to overdrive
Oh woh oh woh oh woh oh…
Oh oh oh
Power from the needle to the plastic
A.M.-F.M.
I feel so ecstatic now
It’s music I’ve found
And I’m wired for sound
Power from the needle to the plastic
A.M.-F.M.
I feel so ecstatic now
It’s music I’ve found
‘Cause I’m wired for sound
I like small speakers (I like Smalls)
I like tall speakers (I like Talls)
If they’ve music
They’re wired for sound (Wired for sound)
I like small speakers (I like Smalls)
I like tall speakers (I like Talls)
If they’ve music
They’re wired for sound (Wired for sound)
I like small speakers (I like Smalls)
I like tall speakers (I like Talls)
If they’ve music
They’re wired for sound (Wired for sound)
Spoken:
I like small speakers
I like tall speakers
And wall speakers
Most of all I like loud speakers
I’m giving the award to The Beatles this week, for the simple reason that I would like to feature one of their songs (the reason behind that may become apparent in the next few hours).
Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
Suddenly
I’m not half the man I used to be
There’s a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly
Why she
Had to go I don’t know
She wouldn’t say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
Why she
Had to go I don’t know
She wouldn’t say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
This week the award goes to ELO, and the feature song is quite excellent, which makes it quite appropriate for use during the credits of the excellent documentary The Great Global Warming Swindle.
The feature song is Mister Blue Sky
(Morning, today’s forecast calls for blue skies)
Sun is shinin’ in the sky
There ain’t a cloud in sight
It’s stopped rainin’ everybody’s in a play
And don’t you know
It’s a beautiful new day (hey hey hey)
Runnin’ down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly, in the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mister Blue Sky is living here today (hey hey hey)
Mister Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?
Mister Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?
Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
A celebration, Mister Blue Sky’s up there waitin’
And today is the day we’ve waited for (ah ah aah)
Mister Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?
Hey there Mister Blue
We’re so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Everybody smiles at you
Hey there Mister Blue
We’re so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Everybody smiles at you
(Mister Blue Sky, Mister Blue Sky)
(Mister Blue Sky-y)
Mister Blue, you did it right
But soon comes Mister Night, creepin’ over
Now his hand is on your shoulder
Never mind I’ll remember you this..
I’ll remember you this way
Mister Blue Sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?
Hey there Mister Blue (Sky)
We’re so pleased to be with you (sky)
Look around see what you do (blue)
Everybody smiles at you
Ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba
Baah baah
Ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba
Baah baah baah
This week I am giving the award to Fats Waller, and I have a special surprise for you. The copyright has expired on the feature song which means I am able to publish the audio version of it, and not just the lyrics.
If you’re wondering why the copyright expired, it is because Fats Waller passed away in 1943, which means that under Australian copyright law, the copyright on all of his works expired at the end of 1993. This 50 year provision changed to 70 years in recent years due to the Free Trade Agreement with the US, however the change did not revive the copyright on expired works.
The feature song this week is one Fats Waller made very popular in 1935, and one that has recently had a lot of people awake in the wee hours of the morning asking 2UE’s Clive Robertson for the artist and title due to him using an extract of it to introduce the email “sub program” hosted by his producer, Abe.
Perhaps I should name it…I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter.
Warning: This song is provided under the provisions of Australian copyright law. If the copyright on this song has not expired in your jurisdiction, do not download it.
I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe it came from you
I’m gonna write words oh so sweet
They’re gonna knock me off my feet
A lotta kisses on the bottom
I’ll be glad I got ’em
I’m gonna smile and say
I hope you’re feeling better
And close with love the way you do
I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe it came from you
Gonna smile and say
I hope you’re feeling better
And close with love the way you do
I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe, make believe, make believe it came from you
This week I am giving the award to George Ivan Morrison OBE (more commonly known, quite simply, as Van Morrison). Van Morrison is a musician I was thinking about during the week for no particular reason, and the musician that enters my mind every time I think of 2CA’s Leighton Archer, mainly because on a day earlier this year when a nice uplifting song was just what I needed, Leighton was on the radio and he played the feature song for this week, Bright Side Of The Road.
From the dark end of the street
To the bright side of the road
We’ll be lovers once again on the
Bright side of the road
Little darlin’, come with me
Won’t you help me share my load
From the dark end of the street
To the bright side of the road
And into this life we’re born
Baby sometimes, sometimes I don’t know why
And time seems to go by so fast
In the twinkling of an eye
Let’s enjoy it while we can
(Let’s enjoy it while we can)
Won’t you help me share my load
(Help me share my load)
From the dark end of the street
To the bright side of the road
And then into this life we’re born
Baby sometimes, baby sometimes I don’t know why, don’t know
And it seems to go by so fast
In the twinkling of an eye
Let’s enjoy it while we can
(Let’s enjoy it while we can)
Help me sing my song
(Help me sing my song)
Little darling come along
On the bright side of the road
From the dark end of the street
(From the dark end of the street)
To the bright side of the road
(To the bright side of the road)
Little darling come along
On the bright side of the road
From the dark end of the street
(From the dark end of the street)
To the bright side of the road
(To the bright side of the road)
We’ll be lovers once again
On the bright side of the road
Well We’ll be, we’ll be lovers once again
On the bright side of the road
We’ll be lovers once again
On the bright side of the road