Posts filed under 'Samuel’s Dreams'

Drink-driving and meteors without ever drinking

Yesterday morning a little while after 11am I went to bed (yes, my sleep pattern is nuts) and had the radio on (and yes, it was the radio as I had a car FM transmitter hooked up to my laptop so that I and the rest of the house could listen to KXNT). Heather Kydd was discussing a story in Las Vegas involving drink-driving, and I think it prompted the peculiar dream I had yesterday afternoon.

The dream started with me driving south on Coulter Drive heading towards the Redfern Street roundabout (the location makes sense as I was pulled over just north of this point once). I was planning on going straight through the roundabout, but just before I exited the roundabout I noticed a police car coming at me on my side of the road for no apparent reason, they did not have their lights flashing or anything like that. I swerved to avoid them, and ended up with my car half up on the grass to the left of Coulter Drive south of the roundabout. I stopped the car figuring that the police might double back to check what was almost an accident, and I then looked out the window and saw a police car drive straight past in a southerly direction, so I figured that I was in the clear and went to take off…then the police car which had run me off the road came up behind me and flashed their lights at me, so I stopped again.

The police asked me to get out of my car and submit to a breath test, which I did, albeit whilst informing them that I was annoyed by them running me off the road. A few moments went by before the result of the breath test came back…I blew 0.342. I protested the result on the grounds that “I haven’t been drinking, and if you knew me, you’d know that I wouldn’t be able to stand at about a third of that” and then agreed to go with the police to the police station for a formal blood alcohol level check…as long as we could go by my house first to lock the doors. Strangely, the police agreed.

We went back to my house and the police locked the windows while I locked the doors, then there was a loud bang and Nattie started barking. A meteor had landed in my backyard…the police saw this and breath tested the meteor. It blew zero, and the police then informed me that I was free to go as the breathalysers report readings of 0.342 in the half-hour before meteors crash in Canberra.

Another meteor then crashed in to my kitchen, causing my microwave to explode…at which point the dream ended.


October 4th, 2009 at 06:57am

The next Commercial Radio Australian brand campaign?

You’ve probably heard the ongoing series of ads from Commerical Radio Australia, starring Mark Mitchell as the numbling interviewer who is trying to convince you to advertise or keep advertising on radio. It’s a good campaign and it seems to have worked quite well for them, and as such, if they take the idea from my dream for their next campaign, they’re completely nuts.

The dream started with me being in a studio in a cupboard opening a package…when I opened the package a CD started making noise (without a CD player). The opening monologue from Neil Mitchell (yes, Neil…somebody in dream casting stuffed up and got the wrong Mitchell) told me all about how radio is the perfect medium to let the world know when you lose or find something. This was followed by three callers rambling about how they lost a cat, a tin of sardines and a fruit shop respectively while the Big Brother theme music played in the background. Neil Mitchell then came back on with “Commercial Radio, you lose it, we find it”.

At this point, the dream ended.

With dreams like this, is it any wonder that I have trouble sleeping?


September 23rd, 2009 at 02:43pm

It’s Larry Emdur on Fox News

Well, a photo of him…and it was a dream, I don’t know if Larry has ever actually been on Fox News.

For some reason I had a dream last night where I was browsing the Fox News website and noticed on the right hand side of their page where they promote some of their shows, they were promoting “the gameshow hour”, with a picture of Larry Emdur and a model standing on either side of the yellow contestant bidding platform on the 1993-1998 Australian “The Price Is Right” set. The camera was placed overhead and they were looking up at it, smiling.

The website indicated that Fox News were going to become a free-to-air channel in Australia, supported by advertising and containing some Australian shows, and they were going to celebrate by running an hour of Aussie gameshow repeats, The Price Is Right and Wheel Of Fortune each day at 5pm in local Australian timezones.

I clicked the picture of Larry Emdur, and ended up on an advertising website, featuring an infomercial from Larry’s current Channel Seven show, The Morning Show. It was selling insurance.

The dream ended here before I bought insurance.


August 21st, 2009 at 11:05am

You were there, therefore you did it!

One of my peculiar dreams…

This dream takes place at about 4am. I was walking east on Batman Street in Braddon approaching the intersection with Gooreen Street when I heard a large amount of yelling from down the road near Gorman House. I turned around to take a look and saw a lot of police cars arriving at the scene…one of the police officers pointed a magnifying glass in my direction, and I decided to leave the area.

Sure enough, a police car zoomed up the street and I was stopped by the police who wanted to know why I was walking in the area and why I had tried to leave the area when they spotted me. I informed them that I was merely out for a walk, which is not an uncommon thing for me to do at 4am, and that I had decided to leave because I was getting cold. They did not like the answer, and yelled “you were there, therefore you did it, and you watch The Bill so you know your rights, and you’re coming with us”.

I was taken back to a place which was supposedly the Civic Police Station but looked more like Sun Hill Police Station, I was then yelled at by Kenny Koala and then (in my mind proving that this was actually Sun Hill) Superintendent John Heaton appeared, apologised for my arrest, informed me that they had caught the person who was responsible for the crime (I still have no idea what it was) and that I would be given a plane ticket to get home, from Civic to Reid.

The dream continued though, as I was unable to leave as none of the doors would unlock, prompting Supt. Heaton to turn on the TV and ring the TV shopping number to order in food while they waited for Kevin Rudd to ring the locksmith, which “usually takes a week or two as Wayne Swan likes to have the tax office audit them first”.

The dream then ended.


August 18th, 2009 at 11:53am

A dream about Kyle Sandilands and his friend Mr. Ego

I’ve been deliberately avoiding making mention of the Kyle and Jackie O fiasco over the last week for the simple reason that I think they only did it for the publicity, and I don’t want to give them the pleasure…and I even rejected Maritz’s column this week because that was her main topic, however I think I need to make an exception for the bizarre dream I had yesterday evening.

In this dream, I was a chauffeur, and Kyle Sandilands got in to the back of the car and demanded that I drive him to Honolulu where, to quote him “they don’t treat their all-knowing celebrities like this”. I informed him that I could take him to the airport, but I can’t drive to Honolulu, which annoyed him, but he begrudgingly accepted this situation, making a remark about how I “must be in on it” and that if I were a Honolululian I would “fix the car so that it can be driven on water”.

Slightly annoyed, and wishing I had a button to eject Kyle from the car, I started driving him to the airport, however a short time later a short man wearing antlers jumped in front of the car, and was struck by the car. Kyle started wailing and the police arrived within moments, declaring the antlered man dead, and congratulating me for stopping a monster. In a state of confusion I asked Kyle what was going on, he then pulled out a microphone and informed me that the short antlered man was his ego, he didn’t know the man’s first name, and no longer wanted to go to Honolulu.

The dream then ended.

It is quite disturbing how deranged and absurd a situation can become in a dream after some alcohol.


August 4th, 2009 at 03:55am

Dream of Las Vegas

This dream just struck me as being peculiar and odd. It, for whatever reason, takes place at the studios of KXNT is Las Vegas which, in the dream at least, consist of a series of cupboards.

The 8 o’clock traffic and weather was just about to finish, so I played the 8 o’clock flip intro and turned up Alan Stock’s microphone…but Alan just stood there in his cupboard, not saying anything, at which point I realised that I needed to take the telephone (an ancient black rotary dial phone with a speaker attached) in to Alan’s cupboard so that he could answer the calls.

I took the phone in, turned up the speaker, and Alan started taking calls…however the wires were crossed, and so all we could hear was Wayne singing. Eventually I figured out that if I hit the phone with a hammer, we could hear the callers flipping off Wayne’s singing…but there was no way to stop Wayne’s singing from getting to air.

Odd and peculiar.


July 29th, 2009 at 02:37pm

Interrupt the meeting for a coffee break

I had a strange dream the other night which started off with me walking through a door in to a corridor which had many doors…many many doors. I walked to the end of the corridor and opened the door on the right which took me in to a meeting room which was rather well lit, in no small part due to opaque white windows which were on the edge of the building and presumably facing north to catch the sunlight. The building seemed to be a strange amalgam of my old GPs second-last surgery, the Civic office of a place where I used to work but am not allowed to name, and the office set for the first and second seasons of ABC medical/legal drama MDA.

I sat down at the meeting table thinking that I could use a cup of coffee, and was followed by a number of other people who had also come for the meeting. The meeting was attended by a number of people with whom I used to work at a previous workplace, some of whom no longer work there, one person from my school days, and was chaired by the Chairman of 1WAY FM’s board.

The meeting didn’t appear to have any purpose, but everyone seemed to have a strong view about whatever it was that was being discussed, with most views being dismissed by the chairman as “not having anything to do with diagrams”. A few minutes in to the meeting, and mid-argument about crayon colours, a number of people walked in to the room to join the meeting late. They were chastised by the chairman for being late but were quickly forgiven when it became apparent that they had brought coffee…enough for them and for the chairman.

At this point I lost it, drew a picture of a cup of coffee, and stormed out. I was joined by everyone else who didn’t have coffee (they, for some reason, were carrying their pictures of cups of coffee). They announced that they were going to get a cup of coffee from the coffee stand outside the front gate of the school grounds, as it has now become apparent that the amalgam building was actually the refurbished first floor of Ainslie Primary School, replacing the area where the library used to be. I, however, decided to get coffee from the house on the corner, across the road, with the green fence, as they had a dog (this dog used to stand up at the fence and bark, quite menacingly, at people who walked past, when I was in primary school).

To get there, I started spinning around in circles whilst walking. Once I got to the fence I realised that the people there had moved out a long time ago, and that I should go to the coffee stall outside the school fence, so I span over to there and somehow beat everyone else there…however I let them buy coffee first as I was very dizzy. The coffee stall was staffed by twins who both happened to look like my year six teacher Mrs. Brophy, except with blonde hair, and they both decided to charge me double for my coffee because I didn’t have a nice picture of a cup of coffee on me. I decided to pay by singing, at which point the dream ended.

The dream was strange…but at least it wasn’t another dream in which I was being chased around by a lunatic with an axe. I had another one of those dreams the other night but I don’t remember the details.


July 22nd, 2009 at 04:37am

Axe Murder

This is without a doubt the single most disturbing dream that I can recall. It takes that title from the dream I had as a kid where some bad guys from a western barged in to my house and kidnapped me.

The dream started off innocently enough. I was in the New South Wales town of Conargo, in a building, chatting with ACT Opposition Leader Zed Seselja who was sitting at a table. The rest of the ACT Liberal Party turned up for a meeting with Zed, so I left and went to a friend’s place to sleep for the night (it was probably around 9pm in the dream at this time, and in reality this friend lives in deepest darkest southern Tuggeranong, but for the purposes of this dream, he lived in Conargo) where I slept until about 2am at which I time I felt an urge to visit the local store.

The store happened to be on a street corner which looked a bit like an amalgam of about five streets in Fyshwick. I drove to the store, but before I could get there a fire truck rushed past in the opposite direction, heading straight for the airport (which was probably a derivative of the Deniliquin airfield, just with more warehouses around it).

I made chase, as a fire at the airport would naturally be the lead story of my news bulletin in the morning, and parked about a block away from where the fire truck stopped. I got out of my car and started walking towards the airport, but was approached from behind by a very large man (both tall and bulky) wearing a State Emergency Service uniform (OK, perhaps not a uniform, just a fluoro yellow vest with reflective tape, and the letters “SES” printed on it in large black writing) and carrying an axe.

The man started yelling quite angrily about how I was being offensive, breaking the law, and upsetting him, by walking through a federal government construction zone. I offered my apologies and explained that I was a journalist, that my aim was to go to the airport to cover the story about the airport fire, that I did not intend on trespassing, and besides which, there was no signage to warn me about the construction zone.

The man was not impressed. He continued to yell at me, and continued to approach me. I started to back away and muttered something along the lines of “well, I’ll just leave now then”, at which point I turned around and started running. The man started yelling that I needed to be punished, and started to chase me. I ran in to a nearby building (which looks like the building in which I had started the dream, minus Zed Seselja and the rest of the Liberal Party), tripped on a rug and fell. The man with the axe caught up with me, and as I was lying on the ground, he continued yelling, and started to swing the axe toward me.

The axe came at me…and I woke up, rather shaken, and with my heart pounding.

I have more dreams from the last week to write about in the coming days, thankfully none are as dramatic as that one…I’m just hoping that my occasional ability to endure sequel’s to my dreams does not occur with this one.


June 27th, 2009 at 10:03pm

Playing half a video cassette

As much as I’m happy to be getting some decent sleep, I have to admit that the ongoing series of peculiar dreams is starting to become tiresome, especially when I wake up and can’t quite work out if the dream was real, as was the case for this dream.

The dream started off with me digging in the backyard, trying to find one of Nattie’s bones. I didn’t find a bone, but I did find half of a VHS cassette, so I took it inside, cleaned it, and polished it, and put it in the video player which, through some piece of weird dream-induced logic, was able to play it.

The video turned out to be a video I lost a few years ago with the Garfield animated television series on it. Back when I was in primary school, Channel Ten were screening the Garfield episodes at 7am and I was recording them. I don’t know what happened to that video.

Anyway, when I woke up it took me a few moments to work out that none of it had actually happened, and I only managed to work it out by realising that the video player is not currently connected to anything, and therefore could not have been used in this manner.


June 23rd, 2009 at 10:18am

The other dream I had last night

During the day I remembered the other dream which I had last night, and in many ways I wish that I didn’t remember it.

In this dream I had broken in to a house in southern Canberra and somehow landed on the resident cat, killing it. The cat’s owner then arrived home and found me with the deceased cat…she was mortified and called the police. I offered to send her a new cat, before running home.

It is entirely possible that the dream which I mentioned earlier in which I was arrested, was a sequel to this dream.


June 19th, 2009 at 06:17pm

A replicator invasion

This one could just be a withdrawal symptom due to not seeing any Stargate SG-1 for nearly a week.

I only remember small amounts of this dream, however the basic premise of it was that replicators (the metal bug-like creatures from Stargate SG-1) were spawning in my bedroom and were starting to take over Canberra. I, and a few other people, moved to the highest ground we could find (the top of my bedroom cupboard) to avoid the plague of replicators, however this didn’t last long as the replicators started to eat the cupboard, and we faced imminent doom.

I remember the dream ending just as a replicator was about to reach my leg…so I suppose it could be considered a nightmare really.


June 19th, 2009 at 02:36pm

Police and mental health forms

Another one of my bizarre dreams from this week.

In this dream I was walking down a street (which appeared to be a cross between an alleyway in Reid, and a street in the fictional Borough of Sun Hill, from The Bill) and was being followed by police driving very slowly on the footpath. It was not apparent to me why I was being followed.

I then walked inside (in to a building which looked like a Dentist’s waiting room), sat down, and started filling out a form which had many questions about my mood and activities over the course of the last week. A woman from ACT Mental Health then turned up and wanted to verbally ask me all of the questions on the form.

I was happy about this and obliged, and the dream ended.

As I write this, a vague recollection of a dream from last night is coming to me…it seems that I was arrested in this dream and sedated with a kettle (not that I have the faintest clue how that works).


June 19th, 2009 at 12:33pm

The complaining communal apartment dwellers

I have had some very strange dreams this week, including about half a dozen last night which I kept waking up from, and don’t remember any of.

The dreams started earlier in the week when, in the first dream, I was going to walk from my hotel room to the 2QN studios and decide to take a shortcut. I walked in the opposite direction to the studios, and walked through the common garden area of an apartment block (which doesn’t actually exist, as far as I know) and ended up on the stairs of the apartment block where I was stopped by a woman who claimed to be one of the residents.

She informed me that she didn’t recognise me, and that I must be a guest. She then informed me that every key in the apartment block opens every door, and guests are sent to random apartments.

The dream ended at this point, however it had a sequel the following night.

In the second dream I once again walked over to the apartment block and encountered the same woman, still rambling about all the keys to the apartment block being the same, but this time she was with her husband, and they both started complaining about the local FM station which, according to them, was called “The Voice”.

The woman then went on quite a rant about how she doesn’t like people saying “raffle tickets” on the radio, and is quite appalled that people would even consider “saying such messy words”.

She also complained about short people hunching over microphones, despite the fact that, as a listener, she wouldn’t be able to see it happening. Amusingly, her husband posed as a short hunching person while she complained about short people hunching over microphones.

The dream then (thankfully) ended as I was woken by my alarm clock.


June 19th, 2009 at 09:29am

Mondays and radio stations

Why is it that Mondays and radio stations seem to lead to me spending far too much time in said radio stations, and not getting enough sleep that night.

I got in to 1WAY FM a bit after 4:30am yesterday and left a bit after midday. I then returned around 5:30pm and left shortly after 7pm.

I was intending on going to sleep after I got home, but ended up having dinner, watching the additively awful “112 Emergency” on SBS 2 followed by Media Watch, and then managed to, just before I would have gone to sleep, sidetrack myself with buying music from iTunes.

This morning I slept through my alarm at 4am (although I think I may have turned my phone alarm off without realising as the phone was in a different location when I woke up than it was when I went to sleep) and then woke up at 6:10am at the end of a dream about how “it’s time to get up when your alarm starts buzzing, whirring, spinning and singing”.

It’s a pity that the dream didn’t occur sooner.


June 9th, 2009 at 08:23am

The Belconnen Bus Interchange, or a derivative thereof

I had a most unusual dream the other night featuring an odd version of the (now defunct) Belconnen Bus Interchange.

In this dream the bus interchange was larger than it is in real life and had multiple ramps and bridges crossing the roadway. I, for one reason or another, was boarding buses, validating my ticket, sitting down for a second and then walking off the bus so that I could repeat the procedure.

Eventually I decided to use one of the bridges and sit down on a bench near a fence next to a building at the back of the bus interchange, which seemed to back on to a street in Holt. While I was sitting there, two girls ran out of the interchange carrying something and jumped the fence. A lady from ACTION followed them but didn’t see which direction they went in…I informed her that they had turned right, she then followed them and returned a few moments later with them tied up by a rope.

The girls asked me why I had given up their location, to which I replied that they hadn’t paid for my silence.

The dream then ended.


June 4th, 2009 at 12:27pm

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