Stuart Bocking is on the air tonight, so I sent him an email about the dream he appeared in on the weekend. His joking reference to it being a nightmare could be prophetic, because the other dream of interest I had over the weekend could very easily be considered a nightmare. More on that tomorrow.
It seems mildly odd to me that I can write about this here, addressed to nobody in particular, on a public blog which will be indexed by Google within the next few hours and be very difficult to ever completely remove from the Internet, and yet I have avoided mentioning this to anybody else, even completely omitting it from the list of things that happened on the weekend when asked by people I can confide in.
I hesitate to use the word “major” in front of “depressive episode” because I don’t think it quite fits the clinical definition…it was an episode, a fairly serious one, but I’m not prepared to call it “major”. What am I talking about? The events of Sunday morning around 4:30. I don’t remember the exact time, but what I do remember is that in the space of about five minutes, and for no apparent reason, I went from being in a relatively good mood, to being depressed enough to have to fight off the urge to visit a publicly accessible building of suitable height.
In the end, the best thing I could do was make myself go to bed and sleep. It took a long time to get to sleep, but I felt a little bit better when I awoke. I didn’t really fully come out of the depressive episode until late last night, and to be perfectly honest I’m not entirely sure that I’m over it yet, but I suppose I can be pleased with the fact that certain buildings don’t seem as appealing as they once did.
As I said, this all happened for no apparent reason…perhaps I’d just been un-depressed for too long, considering that I had a relatively good week and it had been a week or so since I noticeably felt depressed, it’s a workable theory. Otherwise I’m confused. I like to understand things, and the fact that I can’t understand why I suddenly took a nose-dive on Sunday morning concerns me. Will I finally seek professional help, probably not. Should I be seeking professional help? Most likely, but how exactly do I force myself to do so when I would rather not have any interaction with any human being while I’m depressed, and I don’t seem to want help when things are going well?
If there is one thing I seem to be very good at, it’s getting myself in to situations that I just can’t manage. I count three of them at this point in time, two of them are my own fault, and one of them (this one)…well I wouldn’t be surprised if it has something to do with the other two…in fact I’m almost certain it’s related to at least one of them, but now I’m being intentionally vague and defeating the purpose of writing this publicly. This article is long enough…and once again, writing like this has been mildly therapeutic.
On Saturday I started a new photography series which will appear shortly (probably tomorrow) and on the way there I had to travel along Old Cooma Road which starts in the ACT, and within a few metres is in New South Wales. Palerang Council (the people responsible for Queanbeyan amongst other things) are currently upgrading Old Cooma Road, albeit just a bit behind schedule:
A bridge on Old Cooma Road is currently being upgraded, and I decided to stop and take some photos of it. The full set of photos can be viewed on the photo gallery at http://photos.samuelgordonstewart.com/OldCoomaRoadBridgeUpgrade however I’ll share a couple of them with you here.
The scene as you approach from the west:
The new bridge:
The temporary detour bridge. I’m surprised that it remains stable.
Would anybody (who hasn’t already been told by me) like to guess where I was going on Saturday that required me to travel along Old Cooma Road? I took plenty of photos of my destination, and as a clue, I intend on visiting similar sites in the coming weeks to take photos of them. Anybody?
How I wish 2UE’s Stuart Bocking had been on the air last night so that I could inform him of a dream I had in which he made a guest appearance on the weekend…although guest appearance is probably the wrong description, he was the main character.
The dream took place in the cereal aisle of a supermarket. It started with Stuart looking at some boxes of cereal, picking them up, shaking them, and putting them back on the shelf. He was then approached by about a dozen people complaining about how the boxes of cereal were only half full. Stuart proceeded to pull a microphone and some scales out of his pocket and run an impromptu radio program on the subject of cereal companies scamming customers. Oddly every box that Stuart weighed came up with the same measurement on Stuart’s scale, regardless of box size…”half full”. I’m not sure how the scales determined that.
The manager of National Cereals just happened to be in the aisle and Stuart cornered him for an interview, during which he was informed that the cereal boxes were being filled correctly in Armidale, and that the supermarket staff must be stealing the cereal.
The manager of the supermarket then rushed over to deny the allegations that his staff were stealing the cereal, and went on a peculiar rant about how “the boxes weigh the right amount if they’re upside down and you don’t read the weight printed on the box…oh and did you know that we’ve increased the price of oranges so that you get one for the price of two”.
The dream ended quite abruptly at this point.
I think I had this dream on Friday night, which would make sense as I went to bed before midnight on Friday and Stuart would still have been on the radio at the time. That would explain why Stuart entered the dream…as for the rest of it…
Better late than never. This week’s award goes to John Farnham, and I’ll save “Sadie The Cleaning Lady” for another week, as this week’s feature song is “Pressure Down”.
It’s funny how wrong it is possible to be about the lyrics of a song until you read them. In this case I could never make sense of the lines “Take the pressure down, ‘Cause I can feel it, It’s rising like a stone” until today when I realised that I had managed to get it wrong for a very long time, as you will see below.
Set the wheels in motion
And watch them turning ’round
I want to sail across the ocean
I’ve grown weary of this town
Take the pressure down
‘Cause I can feel it
It’s rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels and turn them around
Take the pressure down
In this city full of danger
We lead our separate lives
And I was frightened by a stranger,
with desperation in her eyes
Take the pressure down
‘Cause I can feel it
It’s rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels and turn them ’round
Take the pressure down
Someone turned the pressure on
I called your name and you were gone
And I was trapped like a prisoner in this lonely town
I’m gonna let things slide
Until the pressure comes down
Oh the winner tells his story
The loser hides in shame
The winner steals the glory
While the loser takes the pain
Take the pressure down
‘Cause I can feel it
It’s rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels and turn them around
Take the pressure down
Take the pressure down
‘Cause I can feel it
It’s rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels and turn them around
Take the pressure down
Take the pressure down
‘Cause I can feel it
It’s rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels and turn them around
Take the pressure down
Take the pressure down
‘Cause I can feel it
It’s rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels, turn them around
Take the pressure down
Oh, Take the pressure down
‘Cause I can feel it
It’s rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels, turn them around
Take the pressure down