Posts filed under 'Lunacy/Idiots'
Generally, Gmail does a very good job of spam filtering, but one did slip through to the inbox tonight, and it is truly the most ill concieved piece of nonsense I have ever recieved.
Firstly, allow me to quote the email which was sent to me (and probably thousands of others).
Subject: Get Back To Me!
I strongly regret any inconvenience the receipt of this letter may cause you, bearing in mind the nature of it’s content coming from a person without any referral.
I am the head of the account department of a Private Bank in the Netherlands and I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.
This involves my client,Late Van Nguyen, the 25-year-old drug trafficker from Melbourne,who was hanged in Changi Prison,Singapore on the 2nd of December, 2005. He had an investment placed under my bank’s management two years ago.
With the very strong clause on his bank account form in which a next of kin/beneficiary to his funds was not stated,it has become imperative that I present a next of kin/beneficiary to his time deposit being his account officer.
The need for an assistance becomes crucial, as a next of kin to the depositor is earnestly sought for.
I have a foolproof,legal and totally risk free means through which the fund can be released to you within a very short time after due documentation and authentication process.
The strategy is to use my position and influence as the Head of the branch and Personal Account office of the deceased to present you as a next of Kin and beneficiary to the Late Van Nguyen.
I want to assure you that I have concluded all local modalities for the successful completion of this within 10 banking days.
You should contact me on:
Tel: +31 647 146 661
email: russell8davies@netscape.net
I expect your urgent response and if in the affirmative, I shall advice you on what we need to do.
Best regards,
Russell Davies.
Normally I would not reply to spam, but on this occasion, I just had to, here is what I sent.
You my friend, are quite clearly an idiot. If you had paid ANY attention to the weeks of media attention that Van Nguyen got, you would know that he has a mother who is still alive. I get plenty of your type of scam in my email (although yours is the first to find my inbox and not the spam folder for a while), and of the few I read, yours has to be the worst thought out scam yet. Anybody who paid any attention to the Van Nguyen media coverage (it was pretty much inescapable) would know that his next of kin are alive.
Why don’t you, and the rest of your scam writing friends, go an hit yourselves over the head with large rocks.
Thankyou, and good day,
Samuel Gordon-Stewart
Samuel
December 12th, 2005 at 10:38pm
What happens when you let all the people in the lunatic asylums out into society? You end up with websites like The Spin Starts Here (I wasn’t going to link to it, but I feel obliged).
My attention was drawn to that site a while back whilst searching for something, which I can no longer remember. What I do remember however is that it got a giant black mark in my books and was deemed “not to be visited”.
Recently my attention was drawn to that site again via another search, on this occasion I noticed that they were violating the Google Adsense terms and conditions, which they have since corrected.
My latest encounter with them started last night when a Google Alert for “Dickson College” landed in my inbox, the extract Google provided was
He’s from Dickson College and can write? That used to be enough to get you …
But then I got to this bit: “Yesterday around midday Dickson College had the …
The first bit was odd and caught my attention, but the second bit appeared to have a direct quote from this site, so I clicked on the link and saw the article in question. It was one of their inane discussions about Australian Idol. In the ensuing discussion somebody calling themselves rudyzarsov made a comment which included
I’m sick of looking at the bland c**p that Tssh has become and I feel that it’s only fair that I express my opinion.
This prompted a comment from “Blah Blah” who had this to say
Hey Rudy, here’s what you should do. Look up http://samuelgordonstewart.com. It’s the worst blog you’ll ever find.
Blah Blah then went on to say that The Spin Starts Here is much better etc etc.
That did bring some visitors here, and not surprisingly the visitors from TSSH weren’t impressed by a website which actually makes sense.
Anyway, it turned nasty, “eat my shorts” went on to say
Alright Blah Blah, I thought I had Samuel figured out. I thought maybe he was a retiree who used to work at 2CC and was now stalking them (as you do with previous employers). But then I got to this bit: “Yesterday around midday Dickson College had the annual year 12 photo taken. This would have been enjoyable if it wasn’t for the fact that it took about 20 photos until the photographer was satisfied.”
Excuse long quote, but for f***’s sake, is the dude serious?? So he’s in Year 12, or, as well as being a retiree stalking 2CC, he’s a retiree stalking Dickson College’s Year 12’s?? Freaky.
To which the evil pompous loony woman who seems to run the site, Caz, said this
eat my shorts, he’s a genuine bona fide school kiddy who is often spruiking 2CC in the comments over at johnboy’s site. He also doesn’t like strong language or People Who Need To Be Glassed.
Johnboy’s site being The RiotACT, where I stopped citing 2CC as a source because people started accusing me of being sponsored by or working for 2CC…which I don’t. As for strong language, well it has its place, but I generally choose not to use it. People Who Need To Be Glassed is a site of similar ilk to TSSH.
Then the Dickson College part of the Google Alert appeared in the form of a comment from “roobar”
He’s from Dickson College and can write? That used to be enough to get you put in hospital, but listening to 2CC as well. F***, standards have dropped from the old Hackett Boys days.
And of course Blah Blah just had to continue making an idiot of himself/herself
My apologies Extra Dollop, I didn’t know quite how to warn you for that blog. The whole thing actually leaves me a bit speechless, because I just can’t believe that anyone normal would love 2CC as much as this dude does.
Anyway, I felt like antagonising these idiots by replying, the upshot of which is they all proved their stupidity and Caz managed to make an idiot of herself by stating that she worked for 2CC for five years, she continues to claim that 2CC is the worst radio station on the planet, but it can’t bet that bad if she worked there for a full five years.
Showing the type of people that they truly are, they went on to pretty much try and convince me that the entire world revolves around sex, and nothing else is important…what strange individulas they must be.
I’m not going to continue quoting the utter idiots at The Spin Starts Here, but if you want to see the completely moronic conversation that I had the misfortune of being part of last night (although it was fun antagonising them) then click here to be taken to the article in question on the worthless waste of bandwidth which is, The Spin Starts Here. (Note: Comments sorted in reverse order…scroll down and read upwards)
For the record, I believe that 2CC provides quality radio, and that some people just aren’t bright enough to realise it.
Samuel
November 8th, 2005 at 03:47pm
There is something about the warmer weather and Friday that brings a large number of loonies into my life. There were quite a few of them today, and it is hard to work out which one was first, but here goes anyway.
Firstly we have the woman who decided that the perfect way to transport a two metre pole (or thereabouts) is to shove it on to a bus rather recklessly…that was helpful…
Moving on to the next loopy person and it was some nut from an anti-daylight saving group, I have no problem with her anti-daylight saving views, but there is definetly a problem when she claims that daylight saving causes cancer, depression, the flu, flying werewolf disease and just about every other known and unknow medical problem on the planet (OK, I made flying werewolf disease up, but you get the drift). The best description of that would have to be codswallop.
What’s next…oh yes, the ambulance that had to go down Ainslie Avenue, kept going straight along Ballumbir St, did a u-turn, came back, stopped in the middle of the intersection before deciding which way to go. I pity the person they were attending…I hope they found their way back to the hospital…or are they at the top of Mount Ainslie right now?
Then we have the people who, regardless of location, refuse to eat quietly. I’m not talking about them talking, I’m talking about the way they chew their food…I really don’t want to be able to hear them chewing their food from the next table…it is rather off putting actually, and spoiled my meal somewhat.
Oh, I forgot to mention the people who, when you place your order give you a funny look as if you have spoken in klingon despite the fact that the order is exactly the same as every other time you have ordered.
Then we have the people in supermarkets who walk around in groups very slowly and block aisles in the process.
The people in bakeries who, despite the queue, feel a need to have a chat instead of serving anyone…..The people who park in bus stops…..The people who can’t wait check if the car in front of them has moved off from the traffic lights and nearly rear-end them….The chief turnip deciding we don’t need water restrictions any more…
Yes, I had a rather annoying late afternoon/early evening…
Samuel
October 28th, 2005 at 09:27pm
I do get some weird spam, but today I received a bunch of identical spam from the following stupid names
- Flagon F. Forgery
- Disobeys B. Plop
- They A. Titus
- Derangement L. Jupiter
These spammers obviously think the world is filled with stupid people, fortunately for them they are right. The mass marketing is good at finding the stupid people willing to send money.
The spam sent with those names was telling me I had bought something on my credit card and that it would be processed manually, they didn’t tell me what I bought though.
Samuel
October 25th, 2005 at 05:38pm
Well, the walk I had with Nattie this afternoon was interesting. Despite walking on the other side of a nearby street to the location of the Ten-Year-Old Anti-Angels, I still managed to get an earful of their noise, the more I hear of them, the more I want to print out that article and put it in their letter box, not that it is likely to help, but it would relieve the frustration a bit.
Also on the walk, some lunatic who decided to be an animal health expert for the minute gave some less than useful advice. This all occured while Nattie was sniffing a tree, as she does, and as is natural for dogs to do. This bloke was walking nearby and called out “It’ll get sick if you let it sniff things….pull it away”, I ignored him. Nattie was just about finished with the tree and was doing a bit of ground scratching, which she does occasionally, and most dogs do…what I mean by “ground scratching” is scratching the ground and kicking up a bit of dirt, this seemed to be an opportunity for the loony, who was now further away, to provide more advice “It’s just marking territory, pull it away”.
There was nothing odd about the tree, but there was about the advice provider. For someone offering animal health advice, he wasn’t particularly healthy himself…appearing to be somewhat agitated and under the influence of something, alcohol or otherwise, and littering the ground with orange peels. Eating the orange could be the only thing he had going for him…if he had ever eaten it…he just peeled it and looked at it. Whilst I can’t confirm it, he was certainly heading in the direction of an area notorious for drug dealers, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was going there.
I must wonder what he thinks dogs do? He certainly doesn’t understand what happens when you take dogs for walks. Walks are not only good excersise for dogs, they also provide an opportunity for them to investgate and explore the area, and due to their extremely good sense of smell, this means sniffing things.
He, on the other hand, should refrain from sniffing or inhaling whatever it is he sniffs or inhales.
Samuel
October 23rd, 2005 at 08:17pm
Of all the cases of stupidity this planet shows, this has to be near the top of the list. The police woman who gave 83-year-old Pat Gallen a $30 for crossing the road slowly is threatening to sue John Laws for defamation. Laws, and the rest of the media, criticised this police woman, and the fine was revoked after a public outcry. according to previous newspaper articles on the matter “A police spokeswoman said it was not clear if any disciplinary action would be taken against the officers involved”, so let me get this straight, QLD police revoked the fine, a clear sign it was a wrongful fine, and were considering disciplining the officer(s) involved, the entire media criticised the officer(s) involved (including Today Tonight if memory serves me correctly) and yet this stupid police woman is singling out John Laws for defamation???
As if the fine wasn’t stupid enough, she somehow got the hair-brained idea that she should sue only one of the people who criticised her? She is quite clearly one of the stupidest people on the planet.
So far only The Sunday Mail have covered the story, and their research is a little odd as well. They contacted Pat Gallen (the elderly lady who was fined), she refused to comment, and that is fair enough, but they also rang 2UE
A spokeswoman for Sydney station 2UE was unaware of the proposed legal action and said she could not comment.
The Sunday Mail is the Sunday edition of a daily newspaper, just like The Sun Herald and The Sunday Telegraph, which indicates that the story surfaced yesterday, which would mean that The Sunday Mail rang 2UE yesterday…on the weekend…They would have ended up speaking with the producer of one of 2UE’s Saturday programs…somebody who would have no connection with John Laws or his show…so of course they know nothing about it, nobody did until The Sunday Mail published the story today.
To add to the confusion of this stupidity, I’ve just checked back over my archive of “Best Of Laws” segments, which are the 24 minutes highlight segments for each week…none of them contained anything about Pat Gallen, which indicates that, if John Laws did say anything, it wasn’t much. I think I recall him saying something about it, but from memory it was pretty much in line with the rest of the media, and I’m pretty sure other said worse.
I have a message for that police woman, grow a brain, some thicker skin, and stop trying to make money out of sections of the media which have done nothing to harm you.
The full Sunday Mail article can be read here, and is mirrored below.
Samuel
Cop to sue John Laws
DAMIEN STANNARD
23oct05
FLAK: Radio talkback host John Laws
A POLICEWOMAN is planning to sue radio talkback star John Laws after he criticised her for booking a grandmother for crossing a road too slowly.
The Queensland Police Union is backing the Atherton-based officer’s legal bid, saying Laws’ comments, made on his nationally syndicated 2UE talkback show, defamed her.
Laws criticised the officer for issuing a ticket to pensioner Pat Gallen, 83, for not crossing the road in a straight line in Malanda, near Cairns, this month.
She was coming home from shopping.
The ticket – and the media attention that followed – created a storm and the $30 fine was waived after a public outcry.
But QPU vice-president Senior-Sergeant Denis Fitzpatrick said the ticket was issued lawfully and Laws had impugned the officer’s character.
“We’re gathering evidence because our lawyer is of the opinion that we have a case,” he said.
A spokeswoman for Sydney station 2UE was unaware of the proposed legal action and said she could not comment.
Sen-Sgt Fitzpatrick said an apology would not suffice “and I don’t think that’s likely”.
He said the officer was upset by Laws’ comments and the union was angry about incorrect media reports.
Mrs Gallen declined to comment.
October 23rd, 2005 at 07:23pm
It would appear that ACTION have launched a new dialect of mathematics which challenges conventional thinking on the subject. The advance copies of their new maths appears to contain the notion that swapping plus and minus signs provides more interesting results. ACTION have even launched at least one set of signs which use the new version of maths.
It would appear to me that this new dialect of mathematics is in line with ACTION management’s general policy of making things harder and more confusing, unlike most staff there who seem to try their hardest to make things work.
Samuel
October 21st, 2005 at 08:00pm
The Chief Turnip of the ACT, Jon Stanhope, has released a confidential document on his chief ministerial website (Warning, site contains large scary pictures at the top of every page).
The document he leaked was a confidential draft copy of the federal government’s anti-terrorism legislation. This was given to each of the state and territory leaders as part of the briefing they received on the new legislation.
The draft legislation is due before Federal parliament in a couple weeks, and will probably be refined by then, so not only is this leak a breach of confidentiality, it is also unwise and irresponsible. Not only has the chief turnip broken the trust between the federal and ACT government’s, he has also placed further sensible and logical revisions of the legislation at risk.
I will admit that it does appear to have a few rough edges, but these would have been revised before or during their time in parliament, and the early release has provided extra amunition for a propoganda campaign from the “no anti-terrorism legislation” camp. Already Green’s senator/leader Bob Brown has said that it contains a section which enables police to shoot to kill, and frankly, I don’t think anti-terrorism legislation would be complete without such a clause, and I strongly suspect that Mr. Brown has taken it out of context, and omitted any safeguards/regulations which would be part of the paragraphs in question. The federal government aren’t stupid enough to just hand out guns to the police and say “If you see something, shoot it.” They know that the “rogue senators” wouldn’t stand for it, and neither would the other parties.
ACT Shadow Attorney General Bill Stefaniak produced a press release in which he stated the obvious and true facts of the matter:
“I have to question the judgement of the Chief Minister to circulate this document on the world wide web when it clearly states on the front page ‘Draft-in-Confidence”
“To my knowledge no other Labor state leaders have sort to betray the Federal Government’s confidence in this manner.”
“Mr Stanhope was the biggest critic of the Anti-Terror approach that the Federal Government was proposing to take, but then, after a special briefing at the COAG meeting he finally realised the Prime Minister’s number one goal is national security.”
“Why then has Jon Stanhope betrayed the trust of the Federal Government and his state colleagues in posting what is a very private and confidential document to his personal website for all to see?”
“This is not a smart move and shows a severe lack of judgement on the part of the Leader of this Territory.”
“Jon Stanhope has embarrassed the ACT in his actions and will never be able to be trusted with confidential material of this nature again. “
Perhaps that is just it, perhaps the chief turnip only pretended to be pleased about the new legislation so that he could leak it in an unfinished and rough state which could ultimately destroy it. If so, then this has to be one of the worst cases of political grandstanding in the history of Australian politics.
Regardless of his intentions, he has leaked a confidential government document, and deserves to be punished. If his intentions were as I stated above, then a charge of treason should also be considered…after all, isn’t an attempt to unfairly influence the proceedings of potential anti-terrorism legislation an unusual form of terrorism?
I haven’t read the draft legislation yet, but I will make sure I get read enough to get an overview of it. As unfortunate as it is, the draft legislation has been viewed by so many people now, that it would be impossible to remove it from public knowledge, and to not get see some of it now would open myself up to manipulation by those of Stanhope’s ilk. I will not store a copy of the draft legislation on this site, but I will retain my two-pages-per-page double-sided copy of it for now, and if requested, I will shred it and make sure I don’t disclose any of the contents.
For now the offending document can be viewed from the Chief Turnip’s website (warning, site contains a large scary picture of Stanhope on every page), but I wouldn’t be surprised if it is removed sometime soon…even if a court order is required.
Chief Turnip Stanhope is an outright twit, and shouldn’t be allowed to hold public office, he is a danger to our society, and can never be trusted with confidential documents ever again. The release of the draft legislation will hamper efforts to logically fix up any problems which may be part of the legislation, and has almost certainly fueled a proganda war between the “for” & “against” camps, as can be seen in the incredible amount of press releases relating to it.
Samuel
Disclaimer: Neither I, nor anybody related to this website can be held responsible for any consequences that may occur should you decide to view the confidential draft legislation, information provided here is for informational purposes only and does not constitute a recommendation, direction or otherwise that you should view the confidential document. Should you choose to do so, it is at your own risk. Comments which contravine this notice will be removed without notice.
October 15th, 2005 at 09:00pm
Congratulations, for some reason you have just landed on a website which, over the last week or so has turned into an absolute insane-o-thon…not that I mind…I have publicly declared myself insane on numerous occasions (with tongue in cheek of course) and as the tagline for the site does say “It’s just not normal”.
If you are after a rundown of the week or so in insanity, you just need to look at the following posts (or the somewhat offtopic comments to be more precise…trust me, it’s fun):
2UE’s New Studios
Motorised Lawnmowers
Pictures Of 2UE
Google Earth
I need more coffee…
Samuel
September 23rd, 2005 at 10:14pm
One of the things that really annoys me are those chain emails that people insist on sending, most of them involve some weirdo’s philosophy on “How to be happy” and because they base their theories on mystical phenomena, you are often told that “The more people you send this to, the happier you will be” or “The more people you send this to, the sooner you will be happy”.
I don’t mind the occasional jokes and videos that do the rounds, but the ones telling you to pass them on to “all the people in your address book” really really annoy me.
So why am I babbling about this? Because I got one today which is possibly the most ridiculous and stupid waste of time I have ever seen in an email. I’ll quote the main bit of it:
Out of all of the billions of people who live in the world, there has got to be somebody born on each date of the year. We are going to try to accomplish the task of seeing if we can fill the calendar up with a birthday on every day of the year. Add your name, NO LAST names, and your city/prov (or state) next to your birth date to the list below.
What is that going to prove? Absolutely nothing. If you want proof that people are born every day, check the newspaper, every single day most newspapers have a list of notable births, deaths & events. Wikipedia has a list here.
Now, if I knew all the people on the list and I knew at least one person who was born on each day of the year, that would be something, but this list just proves that a bunch of random people who have email access were born on different days of the year…or more to the point, proves that people are very impressionable, and forget that spam is “Unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature, sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups; junk e-mail.” (Answers.com). This list might not be of a commercial nature, but it is still spam.
Oh, did I mention the title of this nonsense? No? Well, it’s called “365 Birthdays”…yes, that’s right “365 birthdays”. The person who started this nonsense obviously belongs to the group of idiots who don’t know there is an extra day in a leap year.
Now that I’ve vented my spleen, time for some coffee!
Samuel
September 18th, 2005 at 12:24am
How would you clean a window? With some window cleaner and a cloth? How about a leaf blower?
Well, the latter option is what somebody who lives near me decided to do. I first noticed this when I was taking out the recycling and heard a leaf blower, looked up and saw the person pointing the leaf blower at the windows. It was around this time that I realised that it was the same noise I had been hearing for the last half hour, albeit now louder, and then it occured to me, they had been using the leaf blower inside their house as well.
I wonder if they manged to blow all the dust out of their house? And just how many small household items they broke or blew to the other side of the room?
By the way, the windows don’t look any cleaner (although the cobwebs appear to be gone).
Samuel
September 12th, 2005 at 06:02pm
In the circus of my life, alarm clock accidents can be minor disasters, making me late for various things, and in general, causing chaos. However after my latest alarm clock accident this morning I heard on the news that somebody else had a far worse alarm clock accident.
An air traffic controller at Canberra Airport slept in, effectively leaving Canberra Airport without an air traffic controller, and a rather worried Qantas flight circling, the pilots must have been very concerned as they wouldn’t have been able to make contact with the airport.
I would have thought that common sense tells you to have more than one air traffic controller scheduled at any given time…but this is little Canberra and I do have a category devoted to idiots…well done Canberra Airport.
Somebody from Canberra Airport did say that it was “unacceptable” and that they would make sure they had at least two air traffic controllers scheduled at any given time from now on, but it seems strange that they didn’t think of it in the first place.
Samuel
September 1st, 2005 at 07:13pm
Canberra can be interesting at times. I took these two photos after seeing this rather insane sight and thinking “I don’t know how they managed it, but this needs to be preserved”, and so it is, here, in photo form, for your entertainment.
Firstly, the scenic view, the lamp post is roughly three metres high.
And now, the closeup. Yes, it is three shopping baskets. They are from Woolworths (”The Fresh Food People” is their tagline), and the nearest Woolworths is roughly ten minutes away. There are a number of closer supermarkets so I’m not sure why the Woolworths baskets were chosen.
Needless to say, somebody had too much time on their hands!
Samuel
August 26th, 2005 at 12:21am
In case you are looking for a job, Tree Of Life in the Canberra Centre are advertising for an “Acting Assistant Manager”, yes, you read it correctly, an “Acting Assistant Manager”.
Now, to my mind, somebody who is acting in a role is simply filling the role of somebody who has retired or gone on leave…acting is an internal pseudo-promotion, not an actual job…..I suppose that Tree Of Life could be preparing to produce a film…are they going to pay the “Acting Customers”???
I’ve just found the feedback form on their website, I might ask them what they think an “Acting Assistant Manager” is. Interestingly, none of the other jobs are “acting” positions.
Whilst we are talking about the civic area, tonight a woman was standing outside Supabarn and took a photo of the checkout…a minute later she took a photo of Baker Delight, causing much hysterical laughter amongst the staff there…don’t ask me what the photos were in aid of, it just seemed rather odd to me…and the surrounding people.
In a nearby apartment block, somebody has somehow managed to put a shopping basket on top of a lightpost…I don’t know and I don’t want to know how they did it (well, maybe I’m a little curious), but I would like to know why they did it….maybe they’ll build a shop around it….who knows…
All these things serve one purpose….keep the planet interesting!
Samuel
August 19th, 2005 at 08:17pm
The title explains the answers.
When I plugged in my flash drive a few moments ago, I had Windows Media Player minimised, and as soon as I plugged it in, Media Player decided it had to ask me if I wanted to scan it for media files ten times.
My answers, well, I’ll read the title of this post to you:
“No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No”
Thankyou to the lovely loony monkeys typing code for Microsoft, you have made my life so much easier…now, what did I plug in my flash drive for in the first place?….Blast, I forgot, and I think it was important too….
Samuel
August 11th, 2005 at 11:15pm
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