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Loonies Have Long Memories

May 26th, 2006 at 09:12am

Remember the loonies who took offence at my opinion of Summernats? Well they seem to have long memories.

Yesterday afternoon I was returning to work at the end of lunch, and walked the long way back in to the office (as I was a tad early) which involved walking around a corner on to the footpath on one side of Northbourne Avenue at a busy major intersection (this did not involve crossing the road). The vehicles travelling southbound on Northbourne were stopped at a red light, which meant they had plenty of time to see people walking, and potentially recognise them.

Anyway, as I was getting closer to my building, the cars travelling southbound received the green light, and as such, started moving, it was around this time that I started to hear a rather rowdy noise eminating from one of the vehicles…I turned my head to take a look (I was walking in a southbound direction) and could see somebody yelling from one of the cars, as they got even closer and passed me it became apparent that it was actually a tirade of expletives and excessive use of the word “nerd”. It also became apparent that it was more than one person yelling from the car, and that the tirade was directed at me, as one of them pointed directly at me.

You’re probably wondering what makes me think that this was the aforementioned loonies…well quite simply it was a group of young males in a “hotted up” vehicle exhibiting similar behaviour to what the loonies did last time, with similar language.

I have to wonder why they continue this nonsense…after all the last time they were of any concern as a “hot topic” was February, and it is now May. Are they really that far off the planet that they think yelling expletives at me will make me change my mind or give up blogging? Do they really think that the ten or so other people in the area were looking at them favourably? Perhaps they would have liked to take a closer look at the looks they were getting from the other people in the area.

I do have a message for them (although I fear the above text may be too much for their puny minds and they may miss the message as a result), next time around I will be taking a note of your registration plates, a description of your vehicle, the language that you use etc, and I will be pressing charges of harrassment (or whatever the legal term for it is). I will also (more than likely) have a number of witnesses, especially where I was at the time of yesterday’s incident…so if they would like to try it again, they have been warned.

In related loony news, I received an email yesterday afternoon from one “Sam Granleese” (his address didn’t bounce, so it might be legitimate) who said

Dear Samuel,

As we both share the same name, I thought it was my duty on behalf of other Sam’s and Samuel’s around the world to give you a good talking to.

Are you a mental patient? If so, please start taking your medication again. If not, please unplug your computer, take a deep breath, and call ‘000’ on your phone. Do not attempt to tune into 2CC whilst you wait for the ambulance to arrive, and if possible, please put on your spare straight-jacket which is surely still lying around the house. This would be very considerate.

Many thanks,


Was Sam having a bad day and just wanted to vent on somebody? Perhaps…I felt like venting on him after the previous loonies, but I refrained from doing that and instead sent him a polite email to which he is still yet to respond.

You provide all these solutions, but you don’t identify what they are
there to solve. What exactly are you trying to acheive?


In further related loony news, the Queen’s birthday long weekend is coming up, which means that local loonies get to blow things up for a while (and continue doing it when they aren’t allowed to). I’ll have another editorial on that subject in the coming weeks.


Entry Filed under: Bizarreness,Canberra Stories,Lunacy/Idiots,Samuel's Editorials

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  • 1. Chuck A. Spear  |  May 26th, 2006 at 10:56 am

    The other Sam is a Mac user. What is the world coming too?It sounds like the aformentioned loons need to be pulled down a few notches.

    As we speak I am preparing a nice garden in Reid for some new tenants.

  • 2. heatseeker  |  May 26th, 2006 at 11:10 am

    I swear I am going to the next Summernats armed with several tins of 825 gram Black and Gold pineapple pieces, the contents of which I will tip in to the driver’s seat of each and every car on display (at least that’s what the subliminal message in the last persiflage has told me to do).

  • 3. Chuck A. Spear  |  May 26th, 2006 at 11:22 am

    Well you could distact them heatseeker while I replace their nitro tanks with an 825 gm tin of B&G pinapple pieces.

    Failing that we could add it to their regular fuel tanks.

  • 4. cunninglinguist  |  May 26th, 2006 at 5:24 pm

    Since I first raised the theory of the nice garden in Reid possibly being the repository for the work of a nice surburban serial killer, has Samuel followed up on this theory?

    Could Nattie discreetly have a little dig in the petunias to see if there are any corpses contained under the dynamic lifter?

  • 5. wonko the sane  |  May 26th, 2006 at 8:02 pm

    Sam, you have to stand up to these people.

    I, too, have been a victim of these nitwits. To enjoy a brief anecdote about a similar run in, click here:

    Sorry for the self-promotion.

  • 6. Chuck A. Spear  |  May 26th, 2006 at 9:00 pm

    I have just read the above mentioned story and all I can say is ‘This agression will not stand man!’

  • 7. His Masters Voice  |  May 27th, 2006 at 7:50 am

    Did you manage to photograph the ruffians Samuel?

    I’m sure that with your penchant for capturing subtle pictorial clues the very clever correspondents who frequent your blog could give some insight into the workings of the ‘hoon’ mind.

    What kind of camera do you carry? I myself have the latest Brownie ‘Box’ camera. I find the rapid wind excellent for taking shots at the extraordinary speed of one per minute.

  • 8. Brother Sage  |  May 27th, 2006 at 10:10 am

    Don’t let these automoblie orientated heathens offend you Samuel.
    Look to the bible for solace my friend.
    Lamentations 3:30 advises us;
    “Let him give his cheek to the smiter, and be filled with insults.”
    The middle english of the early King James bible can be confusing, but I believe that if you are confronted by these smiters again you could loosen your corduroys and show them the eye that does not wink. Perhaps you could also find some colourful adjectives to describe your perception of their personal hygiene and employment prospects.
    Alternatively, you could show compassion and pray for them. That is what I’ll be doing.
    Peace be with you Samuel.

  • 9. mark  |  May 29th, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    while I have no sympathy for these particular ‘loonies’, and while they clearly engage in the same practice themselves, I find it questionable that you frequently label people with different views to yourself as ‘loonies’, clearly impugning their mental health. It doesn’t seem to me that they are any more lunatic, or mentally ill, than you are – which is not to say that you’re crazy, but rather that neither you nor they are! Boorish, inconsiderate, drugged-up they may be, but not ‘loony’.

  • 10. heatseeker  |  May 29th, 2006 at 7:18 pm

    Actually, I think it should be “Lunis”, as the word is derived from Lunatic, which implies some sort of Lunar influence, which I have long suspected permeates the Samuel in Dolgnwot phenomenon.

    And mark you are right – people in glass asylums should not head butt walls.

  • 11. Brother Sage  |  May 29th, 2006 at 9:18 pm

    Samuel, I think both yourself and Heatseeker are right. Loonie is an acceptable variant of lunie, taking its name from a North American water fowl, the loon, famous for its maniacal call. It could be used in the same way that we call people a “galah”, or “bird-brained”, or a “chestnut-rumped heathwren”.
    But in the words of Solomon, the son of David, King of Israel; (Proverbs 1:17)
    “Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of ANY bird (my emphasis)”
    Look deep into your heart Samuel, these boys need your forgiveness. They’re obviously not as smart as you, so you should pity them.

  • 12. demented_cupcake  |  May 31st, 2006 at 11:38 pm

    These things are sent to try us. Idiots in hotted up cars, yelling out expletives are an annoying facet of life everywhere in Australia.

    Mind you, though…they really HATE it when they’re out-dragged at traffic lights by LESS-hotted up cars.

    This is where a “nerd” brain will always beat them.

    Secret to out-dragging hoons at lights is to stay BACK a car-length in one’s own lane…and have a BETTER run-up to start off with. It works every time, with an ordinary, non-hotted up car…and shows BRAINS beats BRAWN and HOONISM all the time.

    Of course, after the lights, the hoons zoom by faster, but with the funniest look on their faces for being outdone at the lights.


May 2006

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