How not to use a phone booth…and I don’t want a drink with that! On This Day

John B1_B5 leaves the building

October 4th, 2006 at 11:04am

I’m sorry to have to announce that John B1_B5 has announced to me by email that he will not be returning, I’m hoping that this is only temporary, but if not, well let me just say that I am deeply saddened by this.

John was the first person to leave a comment and stick around…until today I had never seen him utter profanities with his keyboard, and for the most part he has been one of the nicest people on the Internet.

I suppose this could have been avoided…if the whole bun fight with The Spin Starts Here hadn’t happened (I’ve already had a debate in the last 24 hours about who started it…I’m not having that debate again), then John B1_B5 wouldn’t have been the subject of their jokes, I wouldn’t have had an influx of visitors from that site, and the last twelve months of a lot of peoples’ lives would have been very different.

This is the kind of thing that really tests my faith in online communities…the online world is already filled with egomaniacs (myself included to some extent), but things get out of hand here in a much worse way than they do in most real-life situations. I had a bunch of things planned for today on this blog…they can all wait for tomorrow now…I was going to close the blog for the next six hours or so to give everybody a chance to calm…but it’s pointless to do that if it obscures this message.

Update 4/October @ 3:22pm: For one reason or another a whole lot of people seem to be interested in what happened in the leadup to today’s odd activity. So, I will now reprint the deleted comments, and (to provide context) the non-deleted comments which surrounded them. Let’s start with the Copyright, licence, etc post.

Warning: The following content contain language which may offend, it violates my general family-friendly policy, and you are advised to scroll to the next article if you are likely to be offended.

Loki @ 12:41am October 4 (not deleted):

John, I must say that comment is “off topic”.

And who would adjudicate this “poster Arpartheid”?

Let me guess … you?

I can’t see what your inane, off topic, idea has to do with copyright, or anything else Samuel mentioned.

*Disclaimer: I am not criticising John, or any of his many alter-egos, personally, I am merely replying to his sentiments regarding this post, and would have reacted in precisely in the same way to any other contributor to this blog.

John Barnes (aka John B1_B5) @ 6:34am October 4 (not deleted):

Whatever you say doesn’t cut any ice with me Loki . You’re just another faceless nobody hiding behind a keyboard.

John Barnes (aka John B1_B5) @ 7:33am October 4 (deleted):

So don’t dictate to me what I can or can’t say on a site that isn’t even yours, you faceless whimp.

Loki @ 7:48am October 4 (deleted):

Now that name calling is exactly what Samuel has warned us all about John, and it’s not very helpful!

Loki @ 7:49am October 4 (not deleted…a response to one of John’s comments which Loki seems to have taken in good humour):

And I don’t have the keyboard up to my face – that would be a very odd way to use it!

John Barnes (aka John B1_B5) @ 8:20am October 4 (deleted):

Go stick your face up your rear end you tincan nobody.

Now let’s move on to the other post which contained the strange “goings-ons”, the Leave John B1_B5 Alone Please post, originally placed there to stop people picking on John for no good reason, pity he had to start doing it to others.

John Barnes (aka John B1_B5) @ 11:35pm October 3 (not deleted):

And here we see one of the brothel creepers creeping around the local brothel –

Loki @ 12:24am October 4 (not deleted):

That’s one very odd statue, John!

John Barnes (aka John B1_B5) @ 7:38am October 4 (deleted):

Oh no, that’s not a statue, that’s a picture of Loki crawling from one brothel to another.

Loki @ 7:51am October 4 (deleted):

John, I just made a friendly, constructive comment about you post with teh odd statue, and you come back with nastiness.

Have you not read what Samuel declared in this very post? Are you setting a positive example for participants in this blog with such negative comments?

John Barnes (aka John B1_B5) @ 8:23am October 4 (deleted):

You’re a spineless nobody Loki, and I’ll say whatever I like.
What do you intend to do about it you wimp ?

These comments have been copied verbatim from my email, as every comment posted here gets sent to me by email.

It was a tad before 10:30am when I checked my email, and I sent John B1_B5 the following email:


Sorry but I can’t enforce one rule for some, and another for rule for others, the name calling has been deleted (with the exclusion of one comment and retort…the one about Loki hiding behind a keyboard, the retort indicates that Loki saw that one with some humour…not that I understand why.)


John, about ten minutes later sent the now infamous following email to me:

I’m not going to be insulted by that faceless piece of shit Samuel . I won’t be back !

I replied with:

OK well that’s your choice and I’m sorry it’s come to this.

Have a nice day John, I hope this isn’t a permanent goodbye, but if it is, then it’s been nice knowing you, and I’ve enjoyed having you on my site for as long as you’ve been there.


I haven’t heard back, and after re-reading all of this I can only assume that John woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning…this all seems very sudden and very odd.

Johnboy (of RiotACT fame) started wondering if John B1_B5 would remain on local talk radio…well he was the first caller on 2CC’s drive show today…I was bracing myself for an on-air berating, but instead found myself listening to John chatting with Mike Frame about retread tyres, and how he thinks they should be illegal.

Incidentally, John B1_B5 has noted on his blog that he does not see how any of this has to do with The Spin Starts Here…well as I said before, if last year’s bun fight with them hadn’t occurred, then nobody would have tried to label John as a pedophile, and none of these ongoing “jokes” would ever have happened, and we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

End update


Entry Filed under: Blog News

Print This Post Print This Post


  • 1. John B1_B5  |  October 4th, 2006 at 1:50 pm

    Actually, this better explains why I won’t be back here – it has nothing to do with TSSH –!F2B226DE742C41C9!3354.entry

  • 2. Roger Mellie  |  October 4th, 2006 at 4:44 pm

    Hi. I am from the West Coast of America and have moved here to get away from my ex-wife, however I am not black or a spear chucker.

    There is nothing wrong with being black. Nelson Mandella is one of my heroes. He spent 27 years in Gaol and has not re-offended since being released. This shows that the prison system works.

    I found this blog while looking through podcasts on iTunes. I heard Leo on Persiflage 8. Leo is one of my heroes too.

    There seems to be some drama going on on this blog today. However, this won’t distract from me reading Samuel’s interesting posts.

    As a former TV host. I look forward to being a regular contributor.

  • 3. Captain Flume  |  October 4th, 2006 at 5:10 pm

    And all the neighbourhood cats breath a sigh of relief.

  • 4. randombrainwave  |  October 4th, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    *jumps out of taxi, suitcases in hand*

    so what did I miss?!

  • 5. Roger Mellie  |  October 4th, 2006 at 5:29 pm

    Fwor! I just read the link that the artist fornally known as JohnB1_B0 posted.

    What is a clit licker? Does it have something to do with a pussy or a saucer of milk?

  • 6. Clayton Northcutt  |  October 4th, 2006 at 6:49 pm

    How about a sing along? I know you all know it, join in when you want:

    Why can’t we be friends?
    Why can’t we be friends?
    Why can’t we be friends?
    Why can’t we be friends?

  • 7. Roger Mellie  |  October 4th, 2006 at 7:17 pm

    I will miss B1_B5 even though I don’t know him.

    The internet is a weird and wacky place and I hope John finds solace in the ether.

    Good luck in your endevours John.

    “Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?”

  • 8. Loki  |  October 4th, 2006 at 8:49 pm

    Thank you for clairifying what the whole loonie saga entailed Samuel – I have only been on the internet a shot time, and this is my oddest encounter yet.

    I will folllow your conciliatory lead and say nothing negative about the blogger formerly known as John B1_B5.

    In fact, he does seem to be a man of some principle as I saw on some of the sites that odd lot at the Spin Starts Here linked to that he is staunchly opposed to eating cats, which I believe is illegal in Australia, and a stance which would no doubt be applauded by the RSPCA.

    And I thought that was a very nice sculpture he referred us to.

    All that said, I think I will stick with this blog as TSSH is a bit too ribald and bawdy for my tastes.

    I will need to sharpen my understanding of cricket with the season looming so I am provide more of my updates!

  • 9. Loki  |  October 4th, 2006 at 8:54 pm

    And a big welcome to Roger! As much as there has been some unpleasantness which we will all strive to leave behind, I have enjoyed engaging in witty banter with some wonderful contributors and learning about sport from Samuel.

  • 10. Colonel Moodus  |  October 5th, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    I thought you handled this outburst with dignity and good humour, Loki. It would have been an honour to have you serve in my unit back in ‘Nam.

    It was certainly odd that Mr B1-B5 selected you as a target for his derision. From my limited time observing this blog, I’ve noted that you are always are polite and never use your keyboard for any other purpose than typing.

    I also strongly urge the readership to treat cats responsibly. They are one of God’s creatures and should be treated with respect, not as some sort of common beast to be eaten or licked or petted excessively.

    Well done Loki! I’m going to recommend you for a silver bar to add to your tin medal for courage under fire.

  • 11. Roger Mellie  |  October 5th, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    Thanks for the welcome Loki. Like Colonel Moodus, I thought you remained calm under fire. You de-escalated a potentially violent situation.

    For a moment your pixilated stoush with JohnB1_B5 (John Barnes) reminded me of the war of words between Samuel and Johnboy over the issuing of speeding fines that resulted in Samuel making a dramatic exit from the riot act.

    However, Samuel bowed out showing maturity beyond his years using manners instead of blue language and links to very odd sculptures.

    I am not a fan of such naughty sites as tssh. I have a parental lock on my Omega 500 that bars me from such lewd sites. Like tssh, Needs to be glassed is another site that is run by delinquents and I have barred myself from it too.

    I would also like to give Samuel a pat on the back for remaining objective during the clash.

    I would like to weigh in on all this cat eating that John is so at odds with. If I was stuck on an island and all there was to eat were wild cats. I would eat them.

  • 12. Colonel Moodus  |  October 5th, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    Also, the eating of hens, cocks and fowl of any kind is frowned on. These animals are unclean.

    I thought Samuel handled this whole situation very well too, Roger.

  • 13. Roger Mellie  |  October 5th, 2006 at 9:19 pm

    Due to the variety of avifauna and feline names being bandied about, this is just a friendly reminder not to use the term ‘spatchcock’ as it is a taboo subject after some people took it too far last time.

    No one has mentioned ‘spatchcock’ at this juncture, but it is better to be safe than sorry.

    So please refrain from its use; do not ask for the recipe.

  • 14. Loki  |  October 5th, 2006 at 10:24 pm

    Thank you for the sentiments Colonel. My active service was a bit later than yours – in Somalia and Rwanda.

    I actually encountered many exotic African women during my service, but they were all throwing rocks at me.

    I now live the quiet life in Sydney and, although I am out of the service, the subtleties of which I am unable to discuss on this public forum, I keep my marksmanship sharp with target matches using my Sako TRG in .338 Lapua magnum out to as far as 1300 metres.

    Occasionally I venture out to a mate’s place at Mudgee where I thin out his feral pigs, goats and cats (which I definitely would never eat, especially after they’ve been smacked with a 300 grain super explosive projectile).


October 2006

Most Recent Posts


Blix Theme by Sebastian Schmieg and modified for Samuel's Blog by Samuel Gordon-Stewart.
Printing CSS with the help of Martin Pot's guide to Web Page Printability With CSS.
Icons by Kevin Potts.
Powered by WordPress.
Log in