Samuel's Blog

Those Stupid Virus Warnings

March 9th, 2007 at 09:05am

I’m sure we’ve all received those stupid emails telling us that “the worst virus ever” will destroy your computer if you open a certain email, and “there is no cure”.

Well, I thought I had spotted yet another stupid virus hoax warning…how wrong I was…definitely worth of Friday Funny status.

If you receive an email entitled
‘Camel’ delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it .

Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on
disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on
ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws
up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to
scratch any CD’s you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto
dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into
your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will
drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave
dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It
will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the
“Bedtimes” message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the
forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill
your skim milk with whole milk.
***
WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***
And if you do open any Emails from ‘Camel’ you’ll fart so hard that
your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you,
sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Do you have something you would like to contribute to Friday Funnies? If so, email it to smoothwallsamuel@gmail.com. All contributions welcome!

Samuel

Entry Filed under: Friday Funnies

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