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Dreams to end obesity, rearrange breakfast radio, and make Civic more democratic

August 1st, 2008 at 04:18am

I’m definitely a long way behind on sleep at the moment, but the small amounts of sleep that I have managed to get have been littered with peculiar dreams. It’s about time that I catch up on writing about some of them.

Firstly, I had a dream in which Kevin Rudd came up with a plan to curb obesity, it was a novel piece of legislation dubbed “The Two Thirds Policy for Burgers” where people buying burgers would be allowed to have two of the following three items only:
Bread Roll
Meat
Cheese

Effectively anybody buying a burger would have to decide which one of those items that they would be willing to go without. I told Jim Ball about this dream last week and was greeted by a stunned silence followed by a chuckle, and a directive to “go and get some sleep”.

The next dream involved ABC Classic FM’s breakfast show. Realising the error of their ways, the ABC rehired Clive Robertson for the gig, but for some reason decided that, just like many other FM radio stations, they needed to have three breakfast hosts…so joining Clive on the breakfast show was John Laws and John Howard. Unfortunately to cover the cost of having three hosts, the ABC Board decided that they weren’t allowed to play any music, therefore saving themselves the cost of royalties…this led to Clive, John and John launching a barbershop trio (because, according to Clive, the ABC wouldn’t fork out for the appropriate number of staff to form a quartet) and singing for the majority of the breakfast show.

Meanwhile in dream number three, convinced that Civic was not a democratic place after conducting an outside broadcast from a spot just outside Bailey’s Corner, Steve Price decided to make it more democratic by walking around handing everyone megaphones…the theory being that by giving everyone a megaphone, it would make it easier for them to be heard.

ACT Chief Turnip Jon Stanhope, unhappy about having the noise of half of Canberra ranting on megaphones in Civic blaring through his office’s window at the Legislative Assembly, passed a law in the week before the ACT election banning megaphones, a move which saw him accused of censorship and subsequently thrown out of government in a landslide result against his party. For some reason, the electoral commission then decided that a suitable punishment would be to make Jon Stanhope clean yellow megaphones…not that I can work out why.

So tell me, if you had dreams like this when you go to sleep, would you try to avoid sleeping in the hope that the Director Of Dreams would go on holidays?

Samuel

Entry Filed under: Samuel's Dreams

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