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It’s easy to solve a murder when you know the format of the show

July 23rd, 2024 at 06:23am

I had a strange dream the other day. You could say that all of my dreams are strange and I wouldn’t argue with you about it.

Anyway, in this dream I was a detective in a police procedural / murder mystery show. I was not the main character but rather a supporting character who usually worked on cases unrelated to the main plot and was mainly there to make the office look busy and occasionally have a thought which helped the main characters with their case.

In this scene, the main characters asked how my case was going, to which I gave a rather generic response about ir “progressing nicely” and then the main characters noticed that my partner was absent, and asked where my partner was.

“No idea! I think they’re not here because the show’s budget is being used on your guest star suspect and we can’t afford an extra character with lines this week”

The main characters asked how I knew their suspect.

“He’s been in the promos all week. Didn’t you see them? Look, he’s obviously guilty as the producers wouldn’t pay for him to just be a witness. Get him into the interview room and yell at him for a bit, then encourage him to have a lengthy monologue. That should get him to confess. But not yet. Finish your coffee first. There’s still two commercial breaks left this hour.”

And then I went to get a cup of coffee.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been a character who knows they’re in a TV show in my dreams. I once dreamt I was in a repeat of Third Watch and nobody was particularly interested in doing anything because everyone knew what was going to happen anyway.

Samuel

Entry Filed under: Samuel's Dreams

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2 Comments

  • 1. nbrettoner  |  July 23rd, 2024 at 7:37 am

    Greetings Samuel; from the North Pole, er, Northern Rivers metropolice of Coffs Harbour,
    Your acuity to the Power of Understanding is significant throughout your report on the evidence obvioused throughout the same.
    Suffice to say Sire Samuel becomes the chief knight in shiny new uniform at your graduation to the rank of Chief SuperIntendant. Now that would be an interesting twist within the wrist of the plot-thickening. Would certainly add some spice, eh? 🙂

  • 2. Samuel  |  July 24th, 2024 at 4:43 am

    Chief Superintendent. Interesting. That rank almost got abolished in the mid-90s in the UK Metropolitan Police at least. In the end it only half-disappeared and ended up coming back properly anyway.

    I wonder if Charles Brownlow would have preferred to be pensioned off when his rank was almost abolished, rather than fighting to stay on, if he had known back then that he would eventually be forced to retire in order to stave off disciplinary action in the wake of naughty Don Beech’s detective-flavoured corruption and murderousness.

    The rank which amuses me though is Chief Constable. When you have fancy titles for underlings such as Deputy Assistance Commissioner, Chief Constable doesn’t sound very important. It sounds like a long-serving lowly-plod who needs a title to justify their tenure-based pay rate, but still takes orders from their sergeant.


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