Canberra is rather well-known from its road markings at the point where two lanes merge which read “LANE ONE FORM”, a directive which seems rather unwise to disobey given the bureaucracy which issued it seems to have a loose grasp on the English language and would be likely to misunderstand any attempt at offering up an excuse and fine you for some other breach in addition to failing to LANE ONE FORM.
On a recent journey around the suburban streets with Pebbles and Shyley, I found a marking which provided some insight into the origin of this backwards bureaucracy…and it is a place which sounds unwelcoming.
They come in their vehicles from the place known only as Beware. As Bernard Woolley so eloquently noted in Yes Minister in regards to the Greeks, “It’s obvious, really: the Greeks would never suggest bewaring of themselves, if one can use such a participle (bewaring that is)” and the same could surely be said of the bureaucrats who write backwards in this way. So if it is not the bureaucrats we should bewaring of (yes Bernard, one can use such a participle) then it must be their location.
There must be an awful lot of red tape emanating from Beware, in addition to vehicles carrying bureaucrats full of backwards phrases. Backwards red tape; now that is a terrifying prospect.
Samuel