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A dream about Kyle Sandilands and his friend Mr. Ego

I’ve been deliberately avoiding making mention of the Kyle and Jackie O fiasco [1] over the last week for the simple reason that I think they only did it for the publicity, and I don’t want to give them the pleasure…and I even rejected Maritz’s column this week because that was her main topic, however I think I need to make an exception for the bizarre dream I had yesterday evening.

In this dream, I was a chauffeur, and Kyle Sandilands got in to the back of the car and demanded that I drive him to Honolulu where, to quote him “they don’t treat their all-knowing celebrities like this”. I informed him that I could take him to the airport, but I can’t drive to Honolulu, which annoyed him, but he begrudgingly accepted this situation, making a remark about how I “must be in on it” and that if I were a Honolululian I would “fix the car so that it can be driven on water”.

Slightly annoyed, and wishing I had a button to eject Kyle from the car, I started driving him to the airport, however a short time later a short man wearing antlers jumped in front of the car, and was struck by the car. Kyle started wailing and the police arrived within moments, declaring the antlered man dead, and congratulating me for stopping a monster. In a state of confusion I asked Kyle what was going on, he then pulled out a microphone and informed me that the short antlered man was his ego, he didn’t know the man’s first name, and no longer wanted to go to Honolulu.

The dream then ended.

It is quite disturbing how deranged and absurd a situation can become in a dream after some alcohol.