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The Diagnosis?

It’s been a while since I’ve run any Friday Funnies, so I thank Jason for sending in some doctor jokes for your amusement.

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the doctor says.
“Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks.
“10” says the doctor.
“10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!” he asks desperately.
The doctor continues “9…8…7…”

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
“What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly.”

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
“Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor.
“You have to help me, I hurt all over”, said the woman.
“What do you mean, all over?” asked the doctor, “be a little more specific.”
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe, “Ow, even THAT hurts”, she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, “You have a broken finger.”

Do you have something you would like to contribute to Friday Funnies? If so, email it to samuel@samuelgordonstewart.com [1]. All contributions welcome!


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#1 Comment By Pen 15 On August 17, 2007 @ 6:26 pm

Well done, Jason. Very amusing.