- Samuel's Blog - https://samuelgordonstewart.com -

Help Wanted

Here’s another Friday Funny courtesy of Charity in Sydney.

A local business was looking for office help.

They put a sign in the window, stating the following:

Must be able to type,
Must be good with a computer
Must be bilingual.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside.

He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager.

The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.”

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter.

He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, “The sign says you have to be good with a computer.”

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said “I realise that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can’t give you the job.”

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, “Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.”

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, “Meow!”

Do you have something you would like to contribute to Friday Funnies? If so, email it to smoothwallsamuel@gmail.com [1]. All contributions welcome!


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#1 Comment By Captain Flume On November 25, 2006 @ 11:18 pm

This is hilarious. I heard that Loki has been banned. That’s not. What gives, Sam?

#2 Comment By Samuel On November 25, 2006 @ 11:23 pm

Too many off-topic comments…there are a few people on thin ice at the moment.

#3 Comment By Captain Flume On November 26, 2006 @ 5:26 am

I hope the crossfire is controlled.

By the way, has anyone ventured out to see Flags of Our Fathers?

I thought it was a great film. Promotion of false heros and so on.

Sam, you should reinstate Loki. Makes youa very small bloke if you don’t.

#4 Comment By Captain Flume On November 26, 2006 @ 5:36 am

And, speaking of thin ice, where does the total cynic stand. On semi-solid, silver-plated ice (if you ignore the faceless person behind the keyboard) or on perilously thin watery ice (based on the fact that cynic us b1_b5, a person who has actually launched personal attacks against individuals on this site, and is known trawler of questionable pornographic sites).

We all know what will happen. I will probably get banned for this comment. It is not enough to be a fan of Sam, and not enough to enjoy participating on its forums. I bitterly oppose Loki’s banning. Why Sam? Why? Why are you so resentful against your own readership? Why the hate? What the dickens is wrong with you? Why do you still side with pedarists?

Take a breath, friend. Got any good sarsparilla?

#5 Comment By Captain Flume On November 26, 2006 @ 5:41 am

Off-topic. Jesus, Sam. You can really BAN someone for being ‘off-topic’?

I am still trying to get a handle on this.

Ridiculous. Like Laws hanging up on a caller who’s making too much sense.

#6 Comment By Captain Flume On November 26, 2006 @ 5:52 am

This kind of aggression cannot stand, man.

#7 Comment By Samuel On November 26, 2006 @ 1:39 pm


Let me put it this way…I’m at work for the majority of each weekday, while at work I do not have access to this website or to my personal email, I therefore have no way of monitoring comments.

When I do finally have a chance to check on the site, I tend to find a bunch of completely off-topic, near-defamatory comments…often against people who either read, or know people who read this website.

It’s fine for you…the chances of anyone ever finding out who you are and being able to take legal action against you for defamation is minimal…I on the other hand am responsible for what gets published here…I’m the one who will be facing a defamation lawsuit one of these days.

I don’t mind if people wander off-topic occasionally, I don’t mind if people criticise me…and I enjoy reading a lot of the comments, but I have to take some action to avoid defamatory comments, and repeated attacks on various contributors.

I can’t force every comment into the moderation queue because I would only be able to check it once or twice a day…and that would stifle any discussion, therefore I have to revoke the comment writing privilege of people abuse their privilege.

Loki is strongly suspected of being someone who has been banned multiple times.

I don’t guarantee to be consistent, and I reserve the right to change the rules as I see fit, and to not publish those rules.

I don’t care if I lose contributors because they don’t like my administration of my own website, in my view it’s good riddance. Just because some parts of the Internet are seen as “anything goes” areas, doesn’t mean that I have to run the same kind of website…you have your own website Captain Flume, and anybody can setup their own website if they don’t like the rules on this one.

Basically, if you don’t like it, go away and don’t come back.

#8 Comment By Captain Flume On November 26, 2006 @ 7:08 pm

Far out.