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Friday Funnies: How not to handle the satellites

May 24th, 2013 at 05:33pm

CBS Local News in Sacramento provides this gem of a story.

A man who called 911 more than 100 times in one month says he’s not going to stop until his concerns are heard by the federal government.

Jimmy Shao keeps a log book of every 911 call he’s made. So many that he boasts he’s probably set a world record.

He doesn’t believe he’s wasting the time of emergency responders because he has an emergency of his own: Shao believes he’s being watched by shadowy government authorities.

He claims to believe his body is controlled by satellites.

“My brain, I can feel it starting. I’m blasted by the signals, every couple of minutes,” he said. “I yell and I scream, ‘Stop it, I don’t need this,’ but they never listen.”

Sacramento Police say he’s ignored warnings to stop calling over and over, so they arrested him for 911 abuse.
[..]
Fresh out of jail, Shao promises he isn’t done dialing 911, “until Congress starts an investigation.”

Police say if he does continue to call he will be arrested again. They also say they may look for some counseling to get him some help.

Alas the story leaves me with more questions than answers. For example, I would love to know:
Are the satellites making him call 911?
When does he fill out the log book? Before, during, or after the call?
Does calling 911 help to stop the satellites from controlling him?
How does he know that congress aren’t in cahoots with the “shadowy government” folk who are controlling him?
Has he tried ringing various government departments who might be in control of the satellites so that he can more directly tell them “stop it, I don’t need this”?
Why haven’t the police just bought him some aluminium foil to help block out the signals?

So now I know Sacramento for two things. Firstly for having a PBS station which announces “Sacramento” in a posh pseudo-British accent that Rush Limbaugh loves to imitate, and for being the focal point of the shadowy government folk’s experiments…I think I might steer clear of the place lest it be contagious.

And then there’s the comments on the CBS article…I like this one:

dboots • 6 hours ago
this man may not be that far from the truth. Because of Lawrence
Livermore Nat Lab testing satellite constellations, here in San Joaquin County we can no longer see the real stars. We hardly ever get to see thousands of stars anymore and instead it is less than 200
(two hundred) as they block our ability to see the real stars. You can see these satellite constellations sending pulses back and forth of which stars are real and which are part of their system. What are the purposes of the pulses seen? Are the satellites a Star Wars Weapon n Defense system? Are they tracking us? If
future wars are meant to be fought from a comfort of an armchair then at
some point they have to test those satellite Star Wars weapons. Where
else are they gonna test them but aiming them our way? Those
satellite constellations are your future police
force/army/navy/marines/national guard most likely. look up smile 🙂

Or it could just be light pollution blocking out the light of some of the stars…but no, clearly the real stars are being hidden in a cupboard somewhere.

Samuel

Entry Filed under: Friday Funnies

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1 Comment

  • 1. nbrettoner  |  May 29th, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Hi Samuel,
    Although the author of the comment on the CBS article makes a valient attempt at illuminating the truth, I would like to share my alternative viewpoint:-
    As we are all only too familiar with the hugely immense bias (masses of our $$$$$ – spenders) of certain bodies who believe they have a right to tell us what truth is, is it not true to say that the above treat us ‘pub-lick’ like complete moronic ninni-com-pewts?. Why they insist in inferring that we serfs are of the same league (-of-rogues) as themselfs, is beyond comprehension (which they all fail miserably at).
    Back to the point of this comment:-
    The author of the above-mentioned comment on the CBS article mentions
    “… we can no longer see the real stars. We hardly ever get to see thousands of stars anymore and instead it is less than 200
    (two hundred) as they block our ability to see the real stars……”
    It’s quite obvious to anyone with a modicom of common sense, that the reason we no longer can see the mirriad of stars is simply because of the blanket of hot-air-rising from the above-mentioned ‘certain bodies’, whom appear to be averse to any modicom, weather (hehe) it be a real truth, or sensible -thing.
    However, as we serfs surf above the blanket-of-untruths, we can indeed see clearly what the truth of the matter is.
    Perhaps the poor ‘certain bodies’ are delusioned as a result of moronic carbonated oxidic poisoning; MCOP ?
    Have a nice day 🙂


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