February 17th, 2012 at 10:41am
With thanks to Irene for sending this one through
If I Didn’t Have A Dog…Or Cat……
I could walk barefoot around the yard in safety.
My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be hair-free.
When the doorbell rings, my home wouldn’t sound like a kennel.
When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through all the fuzzy bodies who beat me there.
I could sit on the couch and my bed any way I wanted, without having to take into consideration how much space several fur bodies need to get comfortable.
I would have enough money, and no guilt, to go on a real vacation.
I would not be on a first-name basis with 6 veterinarians, as I put their yet unborn grandkids through college.
The most used words in my vocabulary would not be:
“out,” “sit,” “down”, “come,” “no,” “stay,” and “leave it ALONE”.
My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates and makeshift barriers.
I would not talk ‘baby talk’. ‘Eat your din din’. ‘Yummy Yummy for the tummy’..
My house would not look like a day care centre, with toys everywhere.
My pockets would not contain things like poop bags, treats and an extra leash.
I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L, W-A-L-K, T-R-E-A-T, O-U-T, G-O, R-I-D-E, S-U-P-P-E-R, and C-O-O-K-I-E.
I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog/cat ties them down too much.
I’d look forward to spring and the rainy season instead of dreading them as ‘mud’ season.
I would not have to answer the question: ‘Why do you have so many animals?’ from people who will never know the joy of being loved unconditionally by the closest thing to an angel they will ever encounter.
How EMPTY my life would be!!!
Entry Filed under: Friday Funnies