Archive for July 22nd, 2009

Why does this sound like Tomacco?

I’m forced to wonder if, my mind immediately thinking of Tomacco, when I read this story, means that there is something wrong with me?

From SBS News:

Australian scientists have found a way to boost crop yields in a move they say could help feed and clothe millions of people in a time of climate crisis.

Researchers at the University of Newcastle have found that by knocking out a gene from the genetic code of a tomato plant, it grows sweeter fruit and longer-lasting leaves.

Associate Professor Yong-Ling Ruan, from the University’s School of Environmental and Life Sciences, says the same technique could be used in a range of plants to boost crop yield and shelf-life.

OK, so it’s not quite the same, but you have to admit that there are some similarities to Tomacco:

Tomacco was originally a fictional plant that was a hybrid between tomatoes and tobacco, from the 1999 episode [of The Simpsons] “E-I-E-I-(D’oh)”.

The method used to create the tomacco in the episode is fictional. In the episode, the tomacco was accidentally created by Homer Simpson when he planted and fertilized his tomato and tobacco fields with plutonium. The result is a tomato that apparently has a dried, gray tobacco center, and, although being described as tasting terrible by many characters, is also immediately and powerfully addictive. The creation is promptly labeled “tomacco” by Homer and sold in large quantities to unsuspecting passersby.

A cigarette company, Laramie Tobacco Co., seeing the opportunity to legally sell their products to children, offers to buy the rights to market tomacco, but Homer refuses. Eventually, all of the tomacco plants are eaten by farm animals — except for the one remaining plant, which later goes down in an explosive helicopter crash with the cigarette company’s lawyers.

Samuel

July 22nd, 2009 at 05:36pm

2CC/2CA looking for a new senior journalist

2CC and 2CA are on the lookout for a new senior journalist, which sadly means that Jane Turner (who is, in my opinion, Canberra’s best newsreader) is leaving. I would like to see Jane take over the anchor role on WIN News, but alas she isn’t sticking around this fair city. I will miss Jane’s dulcet tones and professionalism, as well as her wit which was evident when conversing with program hosts.

I wish Jane the best of luck for the future.

Anyhoo, in Jane’s absence, the following needs to be filled:

Senior Journalist

The Capital Radio Newsroom is searching for someone to manage and lead our news team.

The successful applicant will lead a full-time team of 3 and require the following:

  • Previous experience in managing a newsroom or at least 5 years news experience.
  • Outstanding people skills and be able to manage and direct news staff in a competitive market.
  • Strong presentation and writing skills.
  • A passion for news and be across local, national and international issues.
  • To be able to communicate with our audience via our talk station and adult music station.

This is a rare opportunity to join our group at a senior level.

If you have a passion for news and for making great radio, send your CV, demo in MP3 format and cover note outlining your news experience to:

Peter Davidson
Program Director
Talking Canberra 1206 2CC

Email: davidson@capitalradio.net.au

Phone enquiries welcome: 02 6241 1911

Applications close Wednesday August 5, 2009.

Good luck to Jane, good luck to Capital Radio and good luck to those who apply.

Samuel

5 comments July 22nd, 2009 at 03:32pm

Bizarre news stories: an email to 2GB’s Andrew Moore

G’day Andrew,

I take all peculiar stories[1] from China with a grain of salt as I figure that they are just a result of the state-run media’s propaganda machine.

As for the underwear thief[2]…I’m assuming that I don’t want to know how he smuggled them out of the store?

Best wishes,
Samuel Gordon-Stewart
Canberra

The stories referred to in this email had been mentioned by Andrew’s producer a few minutes before I wrote the email. For your amusement, I’ve tracked down the stories and included them below.

[1]
Boy drank gasoline to copy his TV heroes

A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain “energy” – just as his idols “Bumble Bee” or “Optimus Prime” do in “Transformers,” the Sichuan-based West China Metropolis Daily reported yesterday.

After the boy, in Yibin City, southwest Sichuan Province, had watched the animated TV series, he began to drink gasoline to become a “valiant fighter” like “Optimus Prime,” his father told the newspaper.

“He began to drink gasoline five years ago, when we found he liked smelling lighter fuel,” he said.

The boy’s mother owned a grocery stall, selling small goods such as lighters.

In 2004, she often found lighters missing two or three days after she’d bought them. She later found that her son had been stealing them.

The parents talked to their son and asked him not to do it again. “But afterwards we found our motorcycle’s gasoline was always disappearing, and one day when we found the boy had drunk a half bottle of gasoline stolen from the motorcycle, we were too shocked to say anything,” the father said.

[2]
Police catch underwear thief

German police uncovered over 1,000 pairs of underpants and more than 100 pairs of swimming trunks after catching a thief nabbing another three pairs for his collection.

The 46-year-old man was caught Sunday pinching three pairs of pants from a sports hall in the western town of Gelnhausen. Police then came across the enormous collection of underwear while searching his flat.

July 22nd, 2009 at 04:51am

Interrupt the meeting for a coffee break

I had a strange dream the other night which started off with me walking through a door in to a corridor which had many doors…many many doors. I walked to the end of the corridor and opened the door on the right which took me in to a meeting room which was rather well lit, in no small part due to opaque white windows which were on the edge of the building and presumably facing north to catch the sunlight. The building seemed to be a strange amalgam of my old GPs second-last surgery, the Civic office of a place where I used to work but am not allowed to name, and the office set for the first and second seasons of ABC medical/legal drama MDA.

I sat down at the meeting table thinking that I could use a cup of coffee, and was followed by a number of other people who had also come for the meeting. The meeting was attended by a number of people with whom I used to work at a previous workplace, some of whom no longer work there, one person from my school days, and was chaired by the Chairman of 1WAY FM’s board.

The meeting didn’t appear to have any purpose, but everyone seemed to have a strong view about whatever it was that was being discussed, with most views being dismissed by the chairman as “not having anything to do with diagrams”. A few minutes in to the meeting, and mid-argument about crayon colours, a number of people walked in to the room to join the meeting late. They were chastised by the chairman for being late but were quickly forgiven when it became apparent that they had brought coffee…enough for them and for the chairman.

At this point I lost it, drew a picture of a cup of coffee, and stormed out. I was joined by everyone else who didn’t have coffee (they, for some reason, were carrying their pictures of cups of coffee). They announced that they were going to get a cup of coffee from the coffee stand outside the front gate of the school grounds, as it has now become apparent that the amalgam building was actually the refurbished first floor of Ainslie Primary School, replacing the area where the library used to be. I, however, decided to get coffee from the house on the corner, across the road, with the green fence, as they had a dog (this dog used to stand up at the fence and bark, quite menacingly, at people who walked past, when I was in primary school).

To get there, I started spinning around in circles whilst walking. Once I got to the fence I realised that the people there had moved out a long time ago, and that I should go to the coffee stall outside the school fence, so I span over to there and somehow beat everyone else there…however I let them buy coffee first as I was very dizzy. The coffee stall was staffed by twins who both happened to look like my year six teacher Mrs. Brophy, except with blonde hair, and they both decided to charge me double for my coffee because I didn’t have a nice picture of a cup of coffee on me. I decided to pay by singing, at which point the dream ended.

The dream was strange…but at least it wasn’t another dream in which I was being chased around by a lunatic with an axe. I had another one of those dreams the other night but I don’t remember the details.

Samuel

July 22nd, 2009 at 04:37am


Calendar

July 2009
S M T W T F S
« Jun   Aug »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  

Posts by Month

Posts by Category

Search Blog or Web

Login/Logout

Ads By Google


Blix Theme by Sebastian Schmieg and modified for Samuel's Blog by Samuel Gordon-Stewart.
Printing CSS with the help of Martin Pot's guide to Web Page Printability With CSS.
Icons by Kevin Potts.
Powered by WordPress.
Log in