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So that’s why I received my stimulus payment today

May 1st, 2009 at 02:08pm

The government want me to spend it on a stockpile of supplies to last for two weeks, so that I can then lock myself away from those killer pigs and their flu.

A federal government pandemic plan suggests Australians should be stockpiling enough supplies to last two weeks, on the back of an increase in the swine flu alert level.

The World Health Organisation raised its flu alert level on Wednesday to phase five out of six, signalling a pandemic is imminent.

Under a federal government pandemic plan, a phase five alert level is the trigger for Australians to stock up on enough food, water, household supplies and basic medicines to stay in their homes for 14 days.

Thankfully though, the government is ignoring its own advice. Apparently chaos is not high on their agenda (unless it keeps our minds away from government scandals, I presume)

A spokesman for the Department of Health and Ageing has called for calm, saying while its own manual may say people should be preparing, but they don’t want a run at the shops.

I’m sure the shops wouldn’t mind. I think it’s been a while since they sold out of everything simultaneously and had a chance to increase prices ten-fold due to demand.

Samuel

Entry Filed under: Bizarreness,General News

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