Samuel’s Persiflage #13 Sydney

Samuel’s Musician Of The Week

April 22nd, 2007 at 06:09pm

This week I have decided to do something a little bit different with the Musician Of The Week award, I am dedicating it to someone, someone who is appealing a lenient court ruling, someone who on Friday was fined $1000 and placed on a nine month good behaviour bond, someone who will undoubtedly talk about it a fair bit tomorrow morning on 2GB. Yes, this week’s Musician Of The Week award is dedicated to 2GB breakfast presenter Alan Jones, the feature song is the one he uses for his theme music, and the award goes to Laura Branigan.

It took me a little while to work out why Alan Jones is appealing his lenient sentence for broadcasting the name of a juvenile involved in a court case, but my crystal ball worked that out*.

He is always advocating a “get tough” approach on crime and wants to set an example. He won’t be happy until he gets the maximum sentence. Then his fill-in presenter will campaign to have the “insufficient” maximum sentence raised, his campaign will be successful, Jones will appeal again and get an even longer sentence.

2GB, by now suffering in the ratings, will buy the jail and set up an internal radio station, which will by some amazing coincidence get simulcast on 2GB weekdays from 5:30am-10am. ACMA will have another enquiry, 2GB will be found to be in breach again, Jones will be found guilty of some offence to do with conducting business from jail and will get an extension on his jail sentence and a revocation of any parole period.

* Crystal ball may be foggy.

Anyway, the feature song is “Gloria” by Laura Brannigan, and I’m really quite surprised that people haven’t taken more cheap shots at Jones using the lyrics of his theme song over the years. I personally have nothing against Jones, I haven’t really heard enough of him to form much of an opinion, but I really did think he was smarter than to appeal a very lenient sentence. For what it’s worth I don’t always agree with Jones, but it can not be denied that he will go down in history as one of the big players in Australian radio.

Gloria, you’re always on the run now
Runnin’ after somebody, you gotta get him somehow
I think you’ve got to slow down, before you start to blow it
I think you’re headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it

You really don’t remember, was it something that he said?
Are the voices in your head, calling Gloria?
Gloria, don’t you think you’re fallin’?
If everybody wants you, why isn’t anybody callin’?
You don’t have to answer
Leave them hangin’ on the line, oh-oh-oh, calling Gloria

Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number (Gloria)
I think they got the alias (Gloria) that you’ve been livin’ under (Gloria)
But you really don’t remember, was it something that they said?
Are the voices in your head, calling Gloria?

A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how’s it gonna go down?
Will you meet him on the main line, or will you catch him on the rebound?
Will you marry for the money, take a lover in the afternoon?
Feel your innocence slippin’ away, don’t believe it’s comin’ back soon

And you really don’t remember, was it something that he said?
Are the voices in your head, calling Gloria?
Gloria, don’t you think you’re fallin’?
If everybody wants you, why isn’t anybody callin’?
You don’t have to answer
Leave them hangin’ on the line, oh-oh-oh, calling Gloria

Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number (Gloria)
I think they got the alias (Gloria) that you’ve been living under (Gloria)
But you really don’t remember, was it something that they said?
Are the voices in your head, calling Gloria?

(Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria)
(Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria) … [fade out]

Samuel

Entry Filed under: The Sunday Share

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2 Comments

  • 1. Dick  |  May 3rd, 2007 at 2:40 pm

    A thoroughly modern services market economy features high-tech agriculture, up-to-date small-scale and corporate industry, extensive government welfare measures, comfortable living standards, a stable currency, and high dependence on foreign trade. Sounds like Australia and should probably be a country with some of the happiest people in the world
    Wrong its Denmark where the economy is highly unionised; 75% of its labour force are members of a trade union. Relationships between unions and employers are cooperative: unions have a day-to-day role in managing the workplace, and their representatives sit on most companies’ board of directors. Rules on work schedules and pay are negotiated between unions and employers, with minimal government involvement. The unemployment rate in March 2007 was 3.9%, Denmark’s people indicate they are the happiest in the world where as Australia doesn’t even rate in the top twenty.
    When are the ignoramuses who rant and rave about unions bringing about the end of the world just going to grow up and realise that Australia had the highest standard of living of any country in the world when we had the highest level of union involvement.

  • 2. Samuel  |  May 3rd, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    I for one wouldn’t have a clue what this has got to do with the Musicians Of The Week award, and it is a bit of a worry that somebody with an email address at education.nsw.gov.au can’t work out which post is for the weekly poll, and which one is for the musicians of the week.

    That being said, the comment wasn’t the brightest thing I’ve ever read, so that could shed some light on it.


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