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Telemarketers and door-to-door sales

Good morning John,

The call you had on just after me this morning about telemarketers has really struck a chord with me…my mobile number, like most, is not listed in the phone book, yet somehow Telstra’s sales department which carrier I’m with and seem to enjoy ringing me to try and get me to change to them. I don’t mind them ringing, and having worked in a Telstra Call Centre (not sales thankfully) I understand what the people go through and I try to be nice to them…but they have no right…none whatsoever to know which carrier I choose to be with. The telephone network needs to know so that calls can get through…but Telstra sales, when I am not a Telstra customer, should not have access to that information.

To Telstra’s credit, the girl on the phone was very nice when I said that I am happy with my current service and let the call go…but I’m still annoyed with Telstra for what they did.

About those door-to-door sales…well you might recall that in April (or maybe it was May) one of the jobs I applied for saw me whisked away to the other side of Canberra following a door-to-door sales rep around before I could find out what the company did. Incidentally this bloke was trying to get people to change electricity and gas provider, and wanted to see people’s bills…the tactics and mind games they use are scary…I particularly like their trick of telling you that a lot of your neighbours are changing company and they don’t want you to miss out, but they can’t tell you who has changed due to privacy laws, and the offer expires as soon as they leave.

I have a tip for you John…most companies do not run their own door-to-door campaigns, they employ one of a handful of agencies to do the work, and these agencies build up a bit of a database of houses to avoid…the way to get on that list? Be rude or get angry with them…I know it’s unpleasant to do, but it’ll get you on the blacklist quicker than you can say "I’m not interested".

Also, I won a couple John Wayne DVDs on Flicks and Things in your absence…are 2UE Promotions using super glue on the parcels these days? I had to attack the package with scissors to get the darn thing open…and it’s a good thing I didn’t win your Melbourne Cup sweep, because the DVDs came with a letter stating that I’m ineligible to enter competitions for 30 days.

Have a great morning John, and a big hello to Charity, Irene, Johanna, Georgie, and just in case he is listening at this hour, Craig who runs a wonderful cafe in Dickson.

Regards,
Samuel Gordon-Stewart
Canberra

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#1 Comment By Roger Mellie On November 9, 2006 @ 9:16 am

Good morning Samuel,

The next good morning you do Samuel, should be followed by the rest of the lyrics to the Signing in the Rain number ‘Good Morning’.

Not the pixelated diarrhea that spews forth from your keyboard. Now imagine you are Gene Kelly and are crooning along to these words with a young vivacious new comer called Debbie Reynolds:

Good Morning
Good Morning
We’ve talked the whole night through
Good Morning
Good Morning to you
Good Morning
Good Morning
It’s great to stay up late
Good Morning
Good Morning to you
When the band began to play the stars were shinging bright
Now the milkman’s on his way and it’s too late to say good night
So, Good Morning
Good Morning
Sun beams will soon smile through
Good Morning
Good Morning to you and you and you and you
Good Morning
Good Morning
We’ve gabbed the whole night through
Good Morning
Good Morning to you
————
In the morning
In the morning
It’s great to stay up late
Good Morning
Good Morning to you
———————-
When we left the movie show the future wasn’t bright
But came the dawn
the show goes on and I don’t want to say good night
So say good morning
Good Morning
Rainbows are shining through
Good Morning
Good Morning
Bonjour
Monsuier
Bonas Dies
Bunus Greas
Bonjourrrraaaaa
Artichonnnaaaa
Good Morgan
Licha Moana
Good Morning to you

Now that makes a lot more sense doesn’t it? If it is not hip enough for you then can I suggest The Beatles song ‘Good Morning’:

Good morning good morning
good morning good morning
good morning, a

Nothing to do to save his life
call his wife in
Nothing say but what a day
how’s your boy been
Nothing to do, it’s up to you
I’ve got noting to say but it’s O.K.

Good morning good morning
good morning a

Going to work don’t want to go
feeling low down
Heading for home you start to roam
then you’re in town

Everybody knows there’s nothing doing
Everything is closed, it’s like a ruin
Everyone you see is half asleep
And you’re on your own, you’re in the street

After a while you start to smile
now you feel cool
Then you decide to take a walk by the old school
Nothing has changed it’s still the same
I’ve got nothing to say but it’s O.K.
Good morning good morning
good morning a

People running ’round it’s five o’clock
Everywhere in town it’s getting dark
Everyone you see is full of life
It’s time for tea and meet the wife

Somebody needs to know the time
glad that I’m here
Watching the skirts you start to flirt
no you’re in gear
Go to a show you hope she goes
I’ve got nothing to say but it’s O.K.
Good morning good morning
good morning good morning

Failing that, you may want to go out on a limb and try this one by The Dandy Warhols:

In my good good morning
I’m up before the sun can bring,
early morning, and everyone
like a shiny thing.

All my angels appear
before my window saying
“good morning”
in my good morning

In my good, good morning
I feel before my thoughts all spring.
Am I conscious or
is this my unconscious being
No more like a dream than a
God before my conscious saying
“Good morning” in my good morning?

In my good, good morning
I’m up before the sun can bring,
Early morining, and Everyone like a shiny
thing.
No more like a dream, then a God before
my conscious saying
“Good Morning” In my good morning.

#2 Comment By Samuel On November 9, 2006 @ 10:42 am

Good Morning from Singing In The Rain…the song John Kerr ends his show with most mornings! Wonderful song. The same can be said for The Beatles’ classic.

#3 Comment By seepi On November 9, 2006 @ 8:21 pm

craig of craigle’s bagels??????????

#4 Comment By Samuel On November 9, 2006 @ 8:32 pm

Indeed Seepi…Craig of Craigel’s Bagels…how did you guess?

#5 Comment By Samuel On November 9, 2006 @ 8:34 pm

Oh..of course, I’ve mentioned it previously. In fact, I’m currently the top ranked Google entry for Craigel’s Bagels!