Letter From Supabarn

On ya Andy !

You actually wrote to Supabarn about thrie receipts?

You would have made their day, Samuel. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when they were reading your letter.

Super! Thanks for asking!

The reciept letter is the first flap of the butterfly wing. This issue will turn into a typhoon (if you’re reading in the Pacific) or a hurricane (if you are a valued customer on the Atlantic sea coast).

Andy will contact Supabarn HQ concerning the receipt roll issue. The matter will be tabled at a meeting, and Pam, director of marketing for Supabarn, will be asked to explain why she insisted on using Magnus. During a heated debate, she reveals that she is in a relationship with one of the graphic designers at Magnus. Management insist that Magnus be dumped immediately.

The graphic designer learns he is responsible for the company losing a contract, and combined with a drug problem, commits suicide.

The designer is the son of a high-powered government official. In a blind fit of grief, the official legislate cruelly against the cut-priced food industry, which wreaks havoc on a small Papuan New Guinean community who had an arrangement to supply cheap bananas to Supabarn under the counter, so speak — a loophole which was closed.

The community is plunged into deep depression, and in an effort to save himself and galvanise community support, the chief wages war on a neighbouring tribe.

The conflict escalates. Soon the country is thrown into out and out war, and taking advantage, the Indonesian government decide to send in troops to calm the situation against the wishes of the UN.

Australia becomes hysterical at the situation and demands US support.

US support throws Iran into a state of rage at the endless attacks against Muslim countries, and fires a nuclear weapon. The US retaliates, and life on earth is annhilated.

You see what you’ve done, Sam?

Wonko, I salute you. The last few weeks of my life have been wretched and glum. Your post has made me see a light at the end of an otherwise dark tunnel.

I have long suspected Canberra as being the epicenter for the world’s woes. Not since Walter Burly Griffin himself attempted to divert much needed war funds to complete our capital city in his own image, have I been so sure of this fact. Some say it was his wife’s addiction to
‘snuff’, however, not even the Great War would stand in Walter’s way for a grandiose architectural wonderland.

Some blame Churchill for the catastrophe at Gallipoli, however, it was Walter’s meddling and greed that cost our men the cans of Bully Beef they needed to beat the turks.

Gavrilo Princip, the young Bosnian architect dropout who assassinated heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne Archduke Franz Ferdinand, attended architectural school with Walter. Word on the street is they had a falling out over ownership of the design of the ‘L shaped car park’. This sent young Gavrilo into a vortex of hate and revenge. Knowing Walter just got the contract to design Canberra he acted post-haste and shot the unsuspecting Duke, knowing full well that it would start a war of mammoth proportions that would draw in all countries. Therefore rendering Walter’s final design for Canberra redundant.

If Walter had gone 50/50 on that ‘L shaped car park’ design then there would have been no Great War.

The annihilation of the iconic ‘Bogong Moth’ can also be attributed to Canberrans.

Before European settlement the area was inhabited by the Ngunnawai and Walgalu tribes. They had an argument over receipt details for freshly killed possums and the Ngunnawai kicked the Walgalu out of the region sending them south to Mt Bogong where all there was to eat were moths. The moths were then replaced by the blood-curdling ubiquitous mosquito, who took over our wide brown land and plagued the inhabitants ever since.

I have started to dig my fallout shelter now. Samuel, how could you?

See what

hahh ayhahahhha haaaa

I think you should also congratulate Supabarn on stocking the new Black and Gold label range … that’s sure to make their day!

Its about time. Ive been waiting for this stinkng planet to end. Although I must say the world coming to an end because of one man’s casual observation of his weekly shopping docket has come a little out of left field.

I could understand if it was perhaps a Muslim “extremeist” cracking it and dropping a bomb because he spotted a GST asterix next to the halal items on his Bi-Lo docket, or some renegade vegetarian getting chicken stock in his/her tin of lentil and vegetable soup, but Samuel? I always thought he was here to SAVE the world….not end it.

Maybe next time it would be a good idea to just cut out your “free shoe shine” docket Samuel and throw the rest away?

Stay tuned folks — God ONLY knows what the next exciting scenario will be !

Perhaps the final scene from Richard Wagner’s “Twilight of the Gods” where Valhalla goes up in flames , signifying the end of the world.

Where on earth is Samuel today? He hasn’t posted ALL day……I feel so violated :-/
See what you have done Chuck? Thousands of displaced Bogon Moths have decended on Canberra and dragged our favorite blogger away. GOOD ONE! Maybe you should think about this in future before you go blaming innanimate territories for wiping out wildlife!
Thats all I will say on the matter.

ha ha ……….Bogon Moth, i think they are related to the Smackhead Beetle and the Skankbug.

Where on Earth is Samuel ? — Hmmmm ….Perhaps he isn’t ON earth today . lol !

Space Samuel?? Perhaps he is stuck in Dolgnwat?

I think Samuel should present us with a current photograph of a nice garden in Reid. Depending on how well the plants have flowered, we should be able to discern if there are human remains buried there.

Reid may yet become more notorious than Snowtown.

Heatseeker, I would advise you to arm yourself to the teeth with tins B&G Pineapple Pieces if you are receiving death threats from yourself. I would also stock up with tin foil, brown onions, crayons and an analouge clock that shows the time in am or pm.

Apparently the Grim Reaper sent himself a death threat.

By the way, good on you for making a difference Samuel. I hope SuperBarn benefits from your astute kindness.

Snowtown — A town in South Australia famous for its “bodies in the barrels” , and where (believe it or not ) it doesn’t snow !

Somebody with a morbid sense of humour once referred to Snowtown as a “barrel of laughs” .

NEWSFLASH ! —- Samuel is alive and well, and was heard talking to John Kerr on Radio 2UE between 5.10am and 5.15am (Saturday morning ) .

I’ll let Samuel give you the details about his chat with John Kerr (should he choose to do so).

Chuck, I think the Nice Garden in Reid hides a sinister secret beneath its well-tended azalias and rose beds.

I’m wrapping myself in foil as a precaution.

I am glad to hear that Wonko. I have just covered my spectacles with foil.

I may even give John Kerr a call myself tonight. I think it was about three to four weeks ago since I last rang the Gentlemen of Australian Radio. From memory the number is 13 13 32.

13 13 32 it most certainly is.

I thought that was the number for the Tint Professor?

I wouldn’t want to get him out of bed late at night with a wrong number. He might send his posse over.

He ‘ll tint you up REAL good for getting him out of bed wonko.

I am going to Hollar for a Marshall. This should stop the posse.

Correction – holler

OR —- holla