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Does spam ever get worse than this?

December 12th, 2005 at 10:38pm

Generally, Gmail does a very good job of spam filtering, but one did slip through to the inbox tonight, and it is truly the most ill concieved piece of nonsense I have ever recieved.

Firstly, allow me to quote the email which was sent to me (and probably thousands of others).

Subject: Get Back To Me!

I strongly regret any inconvenience the receipt of this letter may cause you, bearing in mind the nature of it’s content coming from a person without any referral.

I am the head of the account department of a Private Bank in the Netherlands and I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.
This involves my client,Late Van Nguyen, the 25-year-old drug trafficker from Melbourne,who was hanged in Changi Prison,Singapore on the 2nd of December, 2005. He had an investment placed under my bank’s management two years ago.

With the very strong clause on his bank account form in which a next of kin/beneficiary to his funds was not stated,it has become imperative that I present a next of kin/beneficiary to his time deposit being his account officer.
The need for an assistance becomes crucial, as a next of kin to the depositor is earnestly sought for.

I have a foolproof,legal and totally risk free means through which the fund can be released to you within a very short time after due documentation and authentication process.

The strategy is to use my position and influence as the Head of the branch and Personal Account office of the deceased to present you as a next of Kin and beneficiary to the Late Van Nguyen.

I want to assure you that I have concluded all local modalities for the successful completion of this within 10 banking days.

You should contact me on:
Tel: +31 647 146 661
email: russell8davies@netscape.net

I expect your urgent response and if in the affirmative, I shall advice you on what we need to do.

Best regards,

Russell Davies.

Normally I would not reply to spam, but on this occasion, I just had to, here is what I sent.

You my friend, are quite clearly an idiot. If you had paid ANY attention to the weeks of media attention that Van Nguyen got, you would know that he has a mother who is still alive. I get plenty of your type of scam in my email (although yours is the first to find my inbox and not the spam folder for a while), and of the few I read, yours has to be the worst thought out scam yet. Anybody who paid any attention to the Van Nguyen media coverage (it was pretty much inescapable) would know that his next of kin are alive.

Why don’t you, and the rest of your scam writing friends, go an hit yourselves over the head with large rocks.

Thankyou, and good day,
Samuel Gordon-Stewart

Samuel

Entry Filed under: Lunacy/Idiots

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6 Comments

  • 1. John B1_B5  |  December 13th, 2005 at 9:03 am

    That’s a variation on those emails I get on a regular basis from Africa asking me to contact them urgently regarding a “large amount of money” that is coming my way .

  • 2. heatseeker  |  December 13th, 2005 at 3:43 pm

    I don’t know about you admonishing those guys “hit themslevs over the head with large rocks” Sam … people are looking to blogs such as this after the recent violent incidents in Sydney.

  • 3. Samuel  |  December 13th, 2005 at 10:37 pm

    John, I get plenty of them too, but they almost always go straight into the spam folder.

    heatseeker, I was suggesting (in a tongue in cheek manner) that they perform such actions upon themselves, not on each other, and certainly not on anyone else.

  • 4. heatseeker  |  December 14th, 2005 at 1:18 pm

    Yes, point taken Sam, but some of these people (who are probably TSSH loiterers) aren’t too bright, and there seem to be plenty of rocks laying around, so you could be responsible for inspiring someone to do themselves a mischief by putting a subliminal thought in their head. Seeing you have just been nominated for a major award, moderation of some of your more reckless comments is all the more imperitave.

  • 5. 1000umbrellas  |  December 14th, 2005 at 7:50 pm

    that spam was in pretty bad taste, exploiting his death like that.

  • 6. Samuel  |  December 16th, 2005 at 1:10 am

    heatseeker,
    I don’t see why I should need to tone down my opinions or comments simply because an award giver might not like them. My editorials form part of this blog, and therefore if I do happen to win a blog award, it will partially be due to those editorials, which are in essence, my opinion.

    None the less, I agree that some people will think I have instructed them to injure themselves with a rock, but those people probably lack the intelligence to know what a rock is, let alone how to use one for such purposes.

    1000umbrellas,
    It most certainly was bad taste, but spammers are generally unscrupulous loonies anyway.


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