Archive for December 12th, 2005

Does spam ever get worse than this?

Generally, Gmail does a very good job of spam filtering, but one did slip through to the inbox tonight, and it is truly the most ill concieved piece of nonsense I have ever recieved.

Firstly, allow me to quote the email which was sent to me (and probably thousands of others).

Subject: Get Back To Me!

I strongly regret any inconvenience the receipt of this letter may cause you, bearing in mind the nature of it’s content coming from a person without any referral.

I am the head of the account department of a Private Bank in the Netherlands and I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.
This involves my client,Late Van Nguyen, the 25-year-old drug trafficker from Melbourne,who was hanged in Changi Prison,Singapore on the 2nd of December, 2005. He had an investment placed under my bank’s management two years ago.

With the very strong clause on his bank account form in which a next of kin/beneficiary to his funds was not stated,it has become imperative that I present a next of kin/beneficiary to his time deposit being his account officer.
The need for an assistance becomes crucial, as a next of kin to the depositor is earnestly sought for.

I have a foolproof,legal and totally risk free means through which the fund can be released to you within a very short time after due documentation and authentication process.

The strategy is to use my position and influence as the Head of the branch and Personal Account office of the deceased to present you as a next of Kin and beneficiary to the Late Van Nguyen.

I want to assure you that I have concluded all local modalities for the successful completion of this within 10 banking days.

You should contact me on:
Tel: +31 647 146 661
email: russell8davies@netscape.net

I expect your urgent response and if in the affirmative, I shall advice you on what we need to do.

Best regards,

Russell Davies.

Normally I would not reply to spam, but on this occasion, I just had to, here is what I sent.

You my friend, are quite clearly an idiot. If you had paid ANY attention to the weeks of media attention that Van Nguyen got, you would know that he has a mother who is still alive. I get plenty of your type of scam in my email (although yours is the first to find my inbox and not the spam folder for a while), and of the few I read, yours has to be the worst thought out scam yet. Anybody who paid any attention to the Van Nguyen media coverage (it was pretty much inescapable) would know that his next of kin are alive.

Why don’t you, and the rest of your scam writing friends, go an hit yourselves over the head with large rocks.

Thankyou, and good day,
Samuel Gordon-Stewart

Samuel

6 comments December 12th, 2005 at 10:38pm

Get behind your local police force

As the Australian audience (and probably some of the international audience) are probably aware, a lot of rioting has gone on in Sydney over the last 24 hours or so, with more expected.

Plenty has already been said about these riots, including the prime minister trying to down play the racial vilification which formed part of these riots. Race and religion were undoubtedly the main reasons for these riots, but there would have been an element which would have said “Oh goody, a riot, yay”. It is hard to decide which side is worse, I suppose the bottom line is that they are all utter loonies.

The really big downside of this is that our police have to deal with it, certainly it is their job to do such things, but the people who make up our police forces decided to go into that line of work of their own free will, in an effort to help uphold the fabric of our society. Sometimes I get the distinct impression that people don’t value our police enough, so here is what I urge every good law abiding person to do:

When you see the police, give them a wave or a smile, and say hello, make them feel welcome and appreciated. Simple things like this will help the police to feel that people appreciate what they are doing, and that it is worthwhile. If we didn’t have the police, our society would be in chaos, we owe these brave men and women an awful lot, and they really deserve our support.

As for those loonies who think that abusing everyone and everything is such a great idea, just go away, we don’t need or want you here.

I understand that people aren’t going to get along with each other all the time, but these riots were completely uncalled for, and were truly reprehensible, the people involved should be ashamed of themselves.

To our many police men and women, keep up the good work, the law abiding people of this country really do appreciate all the brave hard work you do.

Samuel

2 comments December 12th, 2005 at 08:53pm


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